AIBU - Not allowing school to film my child?

[GlasgowANN]

AIBU? My child is at a summer club and they want to take photos and videos of the kids. I've said absolutely no way. They then said my child would have to sit out whenever they were filming, which I'm not happy about because I don't think they should miss out. Now they're saying they just won't take any photos or videos of any of the children because of it, so everyone misses out. AIBU for not allowing my child to be filmed?

Why can’t parents take pictures of their own kids at the weekend? They don’t need summer camp photos. Let’s be honest, we all have thousands of pictures of our children on our phones, Im sure they’ll cope!

The OP paid full price (presumably) so her child should get the same access to the activities as the rest of the children.

Not unreasonable to not want them filmed.

Unreasonable to expect that they won't be removed from activities that are being filmed.

Why do parents expect pics of what their DC have been up to during the day- why? What for? If you collect them and they’ve had a great day, that’s great. Do you take pictures of yourself during your day and go through them with your child at pick up? No club is going to take pictures of your child crying and unhappy or not joining in the activity, so ask your child if they’ve enjoyed rather than needing photo evidence? Of course this is different if your child is taking part in a major sporting event or performance, but for a kids club- leave them alone to play and no need to consent for marketing for any club, that’s just embarrassing for your child when they get older.

You're not happy with your child being filmed, but you're also not happy with your child sitting out for 5 mins while the other children are filmed?

What would you suggest to resolve this?

You can withdraw permission but how they work around that is up to them. I’ve seen it where they make sure kids without permission are stuck on the end so they are easy to crop out of photos. I don’t imagine there will be many videos, that would be unusual but it is trickier to edit kids out of video so they would have to remove them.

Sometimes on photos emojis/stickers can be used to cover certain children.

They should be used to it at the summer camp and will likely not need to remove them often, but will have to warn you!

Completely unreasonable to not want photos or films with your kids

Ridiculously entitled to expect everyone else to be impacted by your decision and refusing for other children to be filmed.

Why do you think you are so special? So embarrassing for your child. It's such a non issue to ask a child to hold an ipad or help out somewhere when the others are being filmed.

All depends on the context. What are they filming/photographing and how will it be used? If it's for social media or marketing then I wouldn't want my child involved. If it's a project that the children are working on and won't be used online, I'd say you are being unreasonable because now no one can do it and they have to plan something else.

I’ve not got a single photo of my two children in their Christmas plays over the whole of their primary school education. All because some parents have said they don’t want their child photographed. I get that. But the majority then lose out. Standard practice in the UK.

It's pathetic that it needs to be photo/video evidence for funders, really. They should accept other types of evidence.

I've read to page 6 and so far, nobody has thought that maybe the majority of parents didn't give consent hence them not taking photos or video at all.

So you’ve got your own way…at the expense of every parent who would LOVE a photo or video of their child at summer camp.

Good for you! Well done! 😖😵‍💫🤦‍♀️

Are you happy that you’ve spoiled it for those parents 👌🏻

Your wish to not have your child in photos shouldn't trump other's wishes to have photos of their children. You absolutely SHOULD be ok with your child being sat at the edge when photos are taken if you do not want them in photos.

Thats on the school for not having v basic filming knowledge

When my DCs school started using SeeSaw, AI was less developed. There was a risk that other parents might download pictures at the end of the year and post them on social media, but that is pretty much where it ended- so unless someone had reasons to be anonymous, it felt reasonably safe.

Now, however, AI capabilities mean innocent images of children can be doctored to produce indecent images and then shared. In all likelihood that won't happen but I can understand why people don't want to take the risk.

Why did they need to be filming children anyway? What were they planning on doing with the video and photos? The fact that they gave you an ultimatum of agreeing to your child being filmed or she wouldn't be able to participate is bonkers.

Now they've said there won't be any videoing or photos. Which is a good thing. I don't understand the assertion that all the kids will be missing out now though. Missing out on what exactly?

I agree, you can’t have it both ways.

I believe she can actually. She has paid for her DC to take part in an activity, therefore DC should be allowed to take part. If children must be photographed in order to take part, this should be made clear to parents on booking and included in the terms.

I wouldn’t buy a picture or a video with a smiley on it or blurred patches ruins the picture

Yanbu but I think your child should be kept to one side while they film and take photos of the children whose parents are fine with it. There’s a way to make everyone happy and this is it. If your child isn’t happy about being kept to one side you will just have to explain to them it’s because of a decision you made. And it is.

You’re not being unreasonable, if they can’t work out a way to photo/film avoiding one child, that’s their problem.
i suspect lots of parents have said no filming/photos, hence why it is too hard for them to exclude many people and easier just to take no photos.

because those of us that work with kids know that is an unlikely scenario...those who dont want photo's and videos of their kids are in the minority. Their choice is 100% valid, but should not impact on others.

YANBU for not wanting your child filmed, but YABU for not allowing them to sit out while they filmed/photographed. I assume it would be for minutes only, but you could have clarified that yourself. They could still take footage at an angle or where your child isn't. No child will 'miss out' not being filmed or photographed. I doubt they would even notice or care!

Edited to say that when I commented I assumed this was for promotional purposes. Taking videos/photographs in this type of scenario for personal/parents use wasn't done when my two were little, but maybe it's a 'thing' now?

YABVU

They have rightly offered a solution for you.

So because you don’t want your child filmed, every other child will miss out being filmed. Is that what you want?

It’ really isn’t all about YOU.

NSPCC guidelines are that children should never be excluded from an activity just because the parent doesn't give permission for photography.

Given the escalating threat of AI CSAM organisations need to rethink their policies on filming and photography in general.

I’m actually quite shocked at the amount of people on here who want their children being filmed etc. and demanding others who don’t sit their children out.