AIBU to expect my dd (17) to get up?

[queenceleste]

If you manage to get yours up - how do you do it?

I know it’s the holidays for her but still….. Whatever parenting I should have done - surely it’s too late?

DS 16
i get him up at 10. I go in, open the blinds and tell him I’ve got breakfast on the go. He’s so lazy that he knows that if he doesn’t get up then… no cooked breakfast (he wouldn’t make it for himself!) . So he hauls ass. 10am… every morning other than weekends when if he’s not up by midday absolute latest - I’m pulling the cover off and telling him I’m not preparing him any food all day!

Does she have her phone with her or is she actually sleeping

I have a no phones in room from 10pm curfew so I reckon that helps because he knows if he wants his phone, he HAS to get it of bed

No, I don’t get my 17 year old up. She’s pretty much an adult so we’re nearly verging on being flatmates now really. Except I pay for everything. But otherwise, flatmates.

Nope I would leave mine to it at 17. If they want to waste their day in bed good luck to them. If they’re off to uni next year you won’t be there banging on their bedroom door at 10am. Teenagers are night owls.

We’ve always had a “no sleeping in past 10am rule” in our house. Ds (also 17), wouldn’t even want to sleep in later than that. He was at the gym by 11 then at his work experience by 2pm.

My son has just turned 18. I leave him to it, hes an adult.

How long will you have the phone curfew for?

Umm, I didn't get up til 13:00 today thanks to a horrendous headache yesterday, I have no place to be telling DS (9) here. Yes, DH was with him, no I don't have work in missing

i didn’t get mine up…… but they soon learned that I didn’t do anything for them while they were in bed!!
So if they needed a lift…… but their laundry wasn’t done etc…. They had to put their own laundry on before the lift was given etc….
They very quickly realised there were only so many hours in a day!!

I wouldn't have anyone in my home stinking in a bed all day. You get up, you have a wash and get dressed into clean clothes. It's non-negotiable.

But… why? DD just wakes when she wakes. At the moment it’s around 10 o’clock and she’s asleep by 10:30/11 so she obviously needs the sleep. I’m sure once she recharges and starts staying up later , she’ll wake up later at times too. As long as we don’t have plans/she doesn’t have stuff to do, why does it matter?

Mine are a bit younger, but during the summer they do a bit of part time work and a lot of sports training. So on days when they are free, I let them sleep as long as they want. Perks of being a teenager...

I couldn’t get riled about this. Honestly.

School holidays, I left them to it. I wouldn't expect anyone to 'get' me up if I was on a holiday week from my job. I don't do lie ins but you get the gist.

Ds will get up if he needs to e.g. if he has a hair cut, is meeting friends or we have plans. Otherwise I let him sleep, I remember my own dm waking me at 11 am telling me I couldn't stay in bed all day. I never understood why. This week dd is on a course so up early every day.

What does she need to get up for?

As a parent of children aged 6 and 8 I long for the days when my kids sleep in. Having got up no later than 7am every morning for the last 8 years I don’t care if they sleep in until midday.

For a 17 year old?

Are you asking this now @queenceleste because at almost 6pm, DD is still in bed?

For us all. Me including.

Can’t open a news report for advice that phones are left outside room at night and my sleep has improved massively since o started and also reading more.

we all leave in the kitchen

So you were recovering from being ill
right

We all do it.
I mean it is hardly cutting edge stuff
pretty much every report on tech health says no phones overnight
my sleep has improved massively since I started

oddly enough my teens don’t whinge about it. Just.,,. 10pm dump on kitchen table 🤷‍♀️

My daughter can get up any time she wants. Why do I need her to be up any earlier?

Yes but I often don't sleep well thanks to unmedicated ADHD so this in itself is something I'm grateful for. Sometimes ds sleeps in and he's then left as he needs it (ADHD quite possibly a thing there too)

He's 9 but we're all working on if he wants time on devices, chores have to be helped with. He didn't especially enjoy helping sort the online shop order today but mum and dad don't particularly either.

DH doesn't tend to be able to go back to sleep so gets up anyway but DS can sort a bowl of cereal for himself etc

What are you doing in bed that it is stinking? Sounds like you need to change your sheets more often. 👍

And when they’re 18?