Page 5 | AIBU to expect my dd (17) to get up?

queenceleste · 2026-07-21T16:33:50+00:00

If you manage to get yours up - how do you do it? I know it’s the holidays for her but still….. Whatever parenting I should have done - surely it’s too late?

Funnys · 22/07/2026 14:10

ComedyGold007 · 21/07/2026 19:52

Never. My eldest virtually went nocturnal during lockdown! He’s 21 now, left home and working many hours a week as a chef, early starts, never turns down overtime etc..

My parents never woke me up as a teen and I’m the same.

Whether you wake them or don’t wake them has no bearing on their future work ethic.

Same with my DS1 who is 20. He is now starting his 3rd year at uni and has very normal sleep patterns. He had to work it our for himself that being nocturnal meant missing out on stuff. He actually grew to really dislike it.

Funnys · 22/07/2026 14:12

and to add, my mum was always on at me to get up and that I was missing the best part of the day 🙄

As a consequence it took me far longer to grow out of the habit than DS1

Vodkamartini3olives · 22/07/2026 14:24

@Oldgum- Sometimes working till late. Hanging out with friends, gaming, watching movies etc. All the normal stuff..

godmum56 · 22/07/2026 14:31

Shortbreadel · 22/07/2026 14:00

I'm surprised at how many people say they leave their kids to wake up whenever. I get it's the summer holidays and relaxing, have lie ins but I'd want my children up by 10am latest ready to start their day and not waste it away. Maybe I feel this way because there's many adults (20's and 30's) I know of who live with their parents, do not have jobs, stay up late at night and don't get out of bed until atleast lunchtime.

isn't "waste" a very subjective judgement though?

SilverPink · 22/07/2026 14:56

Funnys · 22/07/2026 14:12

and to add, my mum was always on at me to get up and that I was missing the best part of the day 🙄

As a consequence it took me far longer to grow out of the habit than DS1

The best part of the day when you’re young is probably around 4pm to 2am.

The best part of the day at my age is definitely a lot earlier! I’m often contemplating my bed by 9pm 😆

Harry12345 · 22/07/2026 16:52

Shortbreadel · 22/07/2026 14:00

I'm surprised at how many people say they leave their kids to wake up whenever. I get it's the summer holidays and relaxing, have lie ins but I'd want my children up by 10am latest ready to start their day and not waste it away. Maybe I feel this way because there's many adults (20's and 30's) I know of who live with their parents, do not have jobs, stay up late at night and don't get out of bed until atleast lunchtime.

Would you force a 17 or 18 year old to get up if they didn’t want to?

Needapin · 22/07/2026 18:21

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Needapin · 22/07/2026 18:23

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SemperIdem · 22/07/2026 19:15

Sleeping in is one thing, not getting up at all until 5:30pm is quite another. I wouldn’t accept that.

fromgothtoboss · 22/07/2026 23:00

Shortbreadel · 22/07/2026 14:00

I'm surprised at how many people say they leave their kids to wake up whenever. I get it's the summer holidays and relaxing, have lie ins but I'd want my children up by 10am latest ready to start their day and not waste it away. Maybe I feel this way because there's many adults (20's and 30's) I know of who live with their parents, do not have jobs, stay up late at night and don't get out of bed until atleast lunchtime.

But a lot of teens who get up later then stay up later and don’t ‘waste’ their evenings

FrostyPalms · 23/07/2026 15:19

queenceleste · 21/07/2026 19:42

Thank you all so much, it helps to hear whether your dc are behaving freakishly or within the bounds of what might be ‘normal’ for some. It’s slightly reassuring.

she has been awake for a lot of the day but always on her phone. I hardly ever manage to get her off it. But truth be told we are all on our phones FAR too much - I listen to audio books a lot - so we set a bad example.

She didn’t come downstairs until 5.30ish and then had ‘breakfast’.

I’ve just served up dinner to the others of us and, of course; she isn’t hungry and didn’t turn up.

I feel like I’m running a hotel and Joan Crawford is staying and she will do as she pleases thank you very much.

That would never have flown at my house. I don't care what all of the cool mums here are saying - this is unhealthy behavior. Yes, teens need more sleep than adults, and their natural sleep cycle tends to be later than adults. If that means they need to sleep until 10 or even 11 on occasion, fine. But laying in bed awake on your phone? Nope. Not happening in my home where I pay the bills. Also, nit joining in family meals because you've just eaten so aren't hungry? Again - not happening in my house.