AIBU to think school giving out awards to exceptional children is unfair?

[Bigears6789]

Year 6 leavers assembly, some children were invited beforehand to a private invite only special awards ceremony for exceptional achievements. They then stood up and showed their awards at the general leavers assembly. Does this seem unfair? I felt for all the children who didn’t get a special award.

YABU - this is normal for a leavers assembly
YANBU - this is unfair

Achievement can be many things: most progress; kindness; sports; attendance; music; etc etc.
Not just academic grades.

Why? Why is not receiving an academic award not supportive of wellbeing and development? What is your evidence? I can clearly see situations where a child in year 6 didn't get any awards but is able and this triggers his competitiveness and he or she starts working harder. Coming up tops can be good for wellbeing. Striving to come up tops can be good for wellbeing. Learning that all is fine as is and no special effort or talent needed just keep cruising, I presume, is not that good for wellbeing. Seeing others achieve: good for wellbeing. Are we trying to raise a generation of young people who don't do their best? Or for the best to not to be acknowledged? That would be counter productive. There is no such thing as permanent state of well-being, sometime you have to experience disappointment to striver harder and do better. Human nature and all.

Kindness isn't an achievement, it's a virtue, behaviour or a reflection of character. Most schools recognise achievement in sports. Musical achievements are often acknowledged too through ABRSM exams and grades, which many schools celebrate in school assemblies.

You keep children in a bubble wrapped world they are not going to cope when real life hits and for the first time in their lives they see others get the job, pay rise, promotion, contract etc.

Also kids are not stupid, they know who is better than them. ds was really good at maths in secondary, but there was a couple of whizz kids who got the prizes, he knew they deserved them.

I should imagine (/hope) that "exceptional achievements" are person-centred, and not just for children who are achieving above and beyond that of peers of the same age. For example, my son is going in to Year 1 and is not able to write his name yet. Almost all the other children can write their name, and some have been doing so for a long time. If my son is able to write his name after the summer holidays that would be an "exceptional achievement" for him.

(Apologies if this has already been brought up/discussed. Haven't had time to read the full thread!)

Personally I wish there was more recognition in schools for outstanding academic achievement. So often it seems that sport and possibly music are the only talents that are deemed worthy of recognition, whereas there’s a lot of coyness around exceptional intellectual achievement or academic ability. Some teachers my DD has had are reluctant even to flag up academic ability or potential to the child’s own parents as it’s not ‘equitable’ or ‘the done thing’.

This is already going on with GenZ in the workplace. Many want constant praise and handholding through wok challenges and expect rewards for doing a basic job.

Sometimes it’s the children who is loudest, disturbs the class and couldn’t really be bothered who gets the most attention.

It’s great that the high achieving ones are rewarded.

Exactly.

I’ll always remember when I was at uni and we were debating the ethics of private police firms.

One boy (turquoise hair type) said that it was unethical because it meant that the rich would pay for the best security - I found some obscure study that said that this wasn’t the case, so rebutted it. His argument was basically people with money don’t deserve it.

He then argued that it meant that people would be wasting their money and paying for worse security and not getting their moneys worth. I came back with “well which one do you believe? And if you’re against a private police sector because the rich don’t deserve better security, surely you’d be fine with them getting a worse service”? He burst into tears and left. It was really a basic level debate.

I later found out that he had written to the lecturer and demanded I be removed from the class for disrespecting him during a debate and making him feel invalidated. The lecturer naturally said that taking part in a debate wasn’t a reason to be removed from the class.

He didn’t attend another class all year.

I'm undecided really on the impact of these kinds of awards but if you think about it it's a weird concept anyway to excessively reward kids who just happen to be naturally gifted academically or have superior sporting ability. It's a bit like a reward for having the best eyesight or longest legs - applauding someone for random genetic good luck 🤷

In fact, this can also be applied to the kid's who are blessed with a fantastic home life and loads of social capital; invested parents, access to books and experiences/sporting opportunities - are their achievements purely based on their own merit or the result of a favourable environment? What about the kids that don't have any of that?

For me it's admirable character traits that deserve acknowledgement in state school environments. Stuff like being a hard worker, persistence (which can lead to academic and sporting success but sometimes only leads to improvements that are meaningful to the individual), leadership, looking out for your peers, respect for others, sharing, empathy, compassion etc - all the usual lefty, liberal stuff that gets derided but is the basis of a well functioning society.
These traits can be celebrated across all contexts and can apply to any child regardless of academic or sporting ability (or social class). This way everyone gets a shot at being recognized for being a decent human - it's a much more level playing field than restricting praise to academic or sporting success.

How many children?

5 out of 60 who've particularly shone in some way - absolutely fine. 45-50 out of 60 because you've managed to design awards for everyone but keep out the SEN or otherwise struggling kids - absolutely not!

This is sooo normal. It is traditional for awards to be given children with exceptional achievements, you don't get awards for nothing.

I went initially through a school system where everything except academic achievement was recognised - art, music, sports. Lots of competitions, celebrations, prizes/ medals.

I never won anything.

I moved to a system where they had all that AND academic prizes. I swept the board the first year I was there. And bloody hell did it feel good to finally get my hard work recognised. They also did progress prizes to reward those who worked hard and improved.

So unless ALL prizes are removed let the academically able ones have their moment.

I personally think awards should also be awarded relative to individual students. For example those that have struggled, but showed perseverance to make big improvements. This would be in conjunction with those consistently high achievers. All children should have the opportunity to be awarded.

These traits can be celebrated across all contexts and can apply to any child regardless of academic or sporting ability (or social class).
But they cannot apply to all SEN DC, many of whom struggle painfully with these exact things. They also disadvantage those from abusive homes, who may not have the opportunity to learn such lovely manners. Being a hard worker requires a home life where the child is getting appropriate nutrition, all the other lovely characteristics that should be learned at home and reinforced at school require stable home life with loving and involved parents who don't suffer form sever mental health issues or social deprivation.

This way everyone gets a shot at being recognized for being a decent human
Many schools do this. In upper primary and secondary though, these are seen as lame. Getting a high achievers recognition carries kudos getting resilience recognition not so much.

I don’t think they need your pity.

I’m confused I don’t think you read my original comment. I’m saying if it’s solely academic and that I think it should include all different types of awards as high academic grades are not the be all and end all to go far in life. You can have a high achiever academically who doesn’t have the drive to do anything with their results. Some students naturally absorb information but don’t have the confidence in other areas and so on … that was my point. Some high grade students sometimes have a lot of pressure put on them also which can impact their m/h, not all but some. I’ve nothing against them receiving awards at all but I would rather my child receive other types of awards if I’m honest.

It's very much a cultural thing in England (I can't talk for the rest of the UK) that academia are not very well regarded. Quite the opposite, academic greatness is often sneered at. I really don't understand it; many other countries are very different in that respect.

There is so much to celebrate in a person - why does having brains and using them effectively not deserve recognition? Those are the people who will one day be likely to employ a bunch of others. The people heading boardrooms. Future CEOs. The scientists leading progress.

And these are rewards for outstanding achievements. Outstanding - something that sets you apart from others. Why on Earth would that be unfair and not be used as an aspirational springboard for others to better themselves, too?

It's all part of life life lessons. Some people achieve, others don't. As long as it's a minority getting awards, then the majority get nothing - that's how things go in real life.

I don’t disagree with these awards, but I do think schools could be a bit more creative in how they decide what’s worthy of an award, in a way that’s more inclusive.
Reward academic, sporting and artistic achievements, absolutely. But also reward kindness, responsibility, helping and making a special effort.

I don't disagree with rewarding children who have excelled but I do disagree when it is a very narrow category of 'achievement' - ie being quantitatively the 'best' at something - the fastest, the highest score, the strongest etc. Effort, and improvement, should be recognised so much more than it is.

Why are you assuming children with SEN don’t win awards?
My daughter received one this evening for her academic achievement.

Kids these days need to learn the reality of life! No namby Pamby of no winners or losers!
Not doing them any favours by not building a work ethic and resilience!

Not unfair at all. High achievers need to be recognised and celebrated and kids need to understand some kids will be better at some things than they are. It's life. I say that as mother of a child who was never particularly singled out for awards all through school. Handing out gold stars to everyone for mediocrity is why we have so many people entering work who have never encountered any kind of criticism or set back. It does them no good.

what I don’t understand is why you would have an invite only award ceremony? Why not do it at a whole year awards ceremony. That the bit that would need to be explained to me. I mean all kids receiving awards should be celebrated by everyone in the school. It makes it look like it’s a select members club and if you are not gifted enough or clever enough you don’t get in? I don’t think any child or parent would bemoan a child getting an award that’s been worked for and it’s perfectly ok to give and exceptional award to an exceptional student and for everyone to celebrate that so long as there are other awards that are achievable for other children and that they are recognized and celebrated by the school. It’s weird and makes me feel uncomfortable.