AIBU to think school giving out awards to exceptional children is unfair?

[Bigears6789]

Year 6 leavers assembly, some children were invited beforehand to a private invite only special awards ceremony for exceptional achievements. They then stood up and showed their awards at the general leavers assembly. Does this seem unfair? I felt for all the children who didn’t get a special award.

YABU - this is normal for a leavers assembly
YANBU - this is unfair

I think it’s standard but I also dislike it. Why do we have to single any child out? They all tried hard. They all deserve recognition. There will always be some left feeling upset/unhappy.

If they’ve achieved exceptional things, let them have their awards.

What difference does it make?

Its a good lesson for them to learn and learn early. The harder you work, the better you will do and the more you will achieve.

This "everyone is a winner here at St Barnabus's" crap has led to the sort of young people moaned about on here all the time, the ones who expect stuff to simply land in their laps with no effort on their part. The ones who get stroppy when they dont get the same jobs/pay/opportunities as the ones who work harder because they have never had the concept of competition and losing explained to them!

And with managing the 'disappointment' of not winning an award!

As a SEN parent I have far bigger things to worry about!

Sporty kids are recognised year round for their successes, musical children tend to be up on stage playing away. Why shouldn't academic achievers have their time in the sun?

Why shouldn't people who have done exceptional things be rewarded? Should I feel sad that Taylor swift has won many Grammy's and I haven't? (And I've never written a song and can't sing)

I have seen this from both sides as my older dd has ASD and struggled with everything at primary - academic, social, sports. My younger dd got several awards and prize, got selected for sports teams. I'm not sure she worked harder, just natural ability and tendency to be diligent and the school set up suited her. I don't think prizes are necessary - those who do well already have the benefit of good grades, reports and praise. As a parent I was already thankful and happy she was doing well and could recognise it myself it I wanted to. On the whole I think it's OK to have prizes but not too many.

My son's friend always received awards at school. He is and was very intelligent. Maths in particular, came very easy to him. He said as an adult, he never had to put any effort in, he was rewarded for being lucky to have a clever brain. Hes a lovely chap and felt it silly.

My Ds won very little in terms of awards at Primary school, because we had non competitive Sports days, the one area in which he excelled. Of course they all went up to ear 7 expecting to be able to compete.

They are about to start Secondary where the academic kids & those who work hard will be rewarded in the form of GCSE and then A level results
It's how our education system is structured so it's worth getting used to it now.
I think as long as there is also recognition for effort and progress, not just top grades, then it's ok.

The worst awards in my opinion are the the 100% attendance awards. My DS attends allergy appointments annually and has regular asthma attacks every time he has a cold. Through no fault of his own, he's never going to have 100% attendance.

I was thinking this, as if somehow children with SEN can't get awards.

Massive stereotype, but sometimes the focus that comes with some areas of ND can lead to exceptional performance in one area.

Or a child may struggle with reading but be exceptional at music, or PE etc

Generally speaking, kids from chaotic homes, kids in care, those with physical or mental health difficulties, kids who have experienced DV, young carers etc will struggle more with school, miss out on opportunities that they simply aren't in a position to access, and have a harder time at school than many of the higher achieving children in their class (not all, of course, and some children manage to achieve incredible things in difficult circumstances).

As well as a difficult start, generally their outcomes as adults will be negatively impacted by their situation as well, up to and including shorter life expectancy.

The idea of cementing that inequality in the heads of children as early as possible seems brutal, but I suppose an awards ceremony is an effective way of doing so.

YANBU.
The praising of outcomes is demotivating.
The praising of specific behaviours - effort and attitude - is motivating.

Schools have much to learn about human psychology!

No, my son has received two school yearly awards one in reception and one in Y3 (one per class per year), he started school at four and has worked so so hard and never gives up no matter how much he may struggle. I think it deserves to be recognised just like those who win oscars etc. work hard get rewards isn’t that it? For the other kids it should be inspirational not bitter?

Sorry, I may have misread were the awards only academic? If so that is wrong and is more for the schools benefit not wellbeing and development

Had to stand through every child getting a certificate - tedious and bonkers we seem to have lost something!

At my kids school there is a general leavers ceremony where each kid gets called up individually and presented with a certificate, shake hands with the teachers, photo opportunity, clapping etc. Then about 10 awards are given out for a mixture of academic, sporting, social, and progress/all round performance.

The school do make sure that one kid doesn't walk home with all the awards which I think is good. I wouldn't take it any further and devalue the whole thing by making sure everyone gets one. It's an extra bonus for doing something that stands out above the crowd. Not getting one isn't a failure by any stretch as you still walk away with whatever grades you earned, which means far more than a little plaque saying 'science award'. Understanding that you win some you lose some in life and this isn't what dictates your value is important, so I am.all for it personally. If only a few kids missed out that would be another matter and very unfair.

Some people just want to reduce everything so we end up with a race to the bottom.

I think it's pretty normal. Parents get invited to attend if their DC is getting an award.

Completely fair, shows to children hard work pays off, my sons independent school drummed into them second place is the start of the losers from day one, made them competitive and with the belief anything worth having takes hard work, and achievements were there to be celebrated.

Golly, this sounds quite extreme but as your children get older and start to face University/College/work you do realise how competitive it all is and how they need to be prepared for that and resilient enough to deal with it.

The only award my DS left school with was the House Chimney award at the leavers dinner...no special prizes for guessing what that was for....I wasn't a very proud Mummy!

It’s very unlikely none of the exceptional achievers have SEN or are ND.

You seem to be looking for offence or injustice where it doesn’t exist.

may have SEN etc

And?
Does the presence of DCs with SEN mean that clever and talented DCs shouldn't also be recognised?

Children are too coddled these days. Not everyone is exceptional other than to their own parents.