AIBU to think school giving out awards to exceptional children is unfair?

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Year 6 leavers assembly, some children were invited beforehand to a private invite only special awards ceremony for exceptional achievements. They then stood up and showed their awards at the general leavers assembly. Does this seem unfair? I felt for all the children who didn’t get a special award.

YABU - this is normal for a leavers assembly
YANBU - this is unfair

SEND children often get awards. Some of the most academic children that I have taught are also on the SEND register. Awards are also given for sport, creative arts, attitude and progress.

I found that statement odd too.. My son is SEN, has received several awards throughout the year. He’s just finished year 3, 8 yo and is one of the top in his entire school for maths.

His mainstream school also rewards teamwork, kindness, improvements, etc. Like a pp mentioned, we also have awards given out every week at our son’s school. At his school, it is put on the school app for parents to see.

Christ. Those that are great at sport get celebrated in front of the whole school and parents every bloody year. Let the geeks have a turn.

It depends on the spread of awards. It's not necessary for every child to get an award for the awards to feel inclusive to all. There can be an award for outstanding sporting achievements, outstanding mathematical ability etc but there can also be an award for courage and determination that a physically disabled child might get, recognising the enormous strength and courage that it took to do a particular thing, or perhaps a child with SEN whose dedication in achieving a particular milestone was actually more impressive than a much more advanced achievement reached by a child with no additional challenges who finds it easy. Every child in the school should feel that one of the awards is within their power to potentially win if they do their best - and there should be a whole school assembly celebrating these achievements at which each child in year 4 or year 5 child can identify at least one award winner who they feel they have a good chance to emulate over the next couple of years. If there's a child who can't see a role-model who they aspire to be like in that lineup then there aren't enough awards yet.

I think the other kids already know who’s academically exceptional, you may as well let the kid know it’s recognised.

I get why we reward effort but DD’s taken part in some competitions at school and the winning entries were definitely awarded on the basis of kids giving it a go sort of thing which is nice but I struggled to explain it to my DD. If they had just been better I would have told her the truth, “they worked harder” etc” which I have no problem with. But when awards are given out on the basis of encouragement rather than achievement it’s confusing for kids. No problem with awards for “most improved ” but it needs to be clear.

Yes this, we don’t feel so embarrassed about sporting excellence or even art but for some reason academics is something thats not considered in the same category.

As a parent to two high achieving kids I'm so fed up of their achievements being ignored for the sake of not upsetting lesser able kids.

My daughter is exceeding age related expectations in all areas of the curriculum, never puts a foot out of line, is one of the few who will actively raise her hand to answer questions etc (this is according to staff) and yet she hasn't had the star of the week award in three years.

My son left primary school bored and frustrated. He describes how children who did very little all year were rewarded when they increased their effort slightly one week. Thankfully his secondary school does recognise academic achievements and he is now thriving in an environment that celebrates his successes.

When we ignore their achievements to safeguard the feelings of others, it is demotivating and demoralising. Effort is seen as pointless. Success needs to be celebrated across the board. We have a massive issue in this country with talking people down and not valuing academic achievement and then we wonder why we are lagging behind so many other nations.

No it's not unfair. Presumably the others could be achieved those awards but the children who did achieved more in that subject or challenge. They would've been told that these were on offer from the beginning.

Of course if there were awards they should get to be acknowledged by the whole year/school. What's the point in giving them out in secret?

And participation trophies are not routine at secondary school so they need to see that high achievement is rewarded.

Think it is so important that hard work, effort and achievement are recognised.

Better than my kids’ school, where EVERYONE got a position of authority in the top year - head boy/girl, head of football etc, right down to RS monitor….

It was aimed to make everything fair but was a disaster. The positions didn’t really feel special as everyone HAD to be given one, and there was a very clear hierarchy - all the kids knew the ‘dud’ roles, so were gutted to be named charity monitor or computing/playground prefect - it marked them out as bottom of the pack to their peers (and to the other competitive parents…..)

All parents felt it far better if only 5/10 kids were given the Head of School/Sport/House on merit, and the other 60 were equal.

Far better to recognise truly exceptional achievement and commitment than not.

For my children's school, they presented 3 awards to 3 children at the leaver's assembly. (Only 15 children in the class!) Was totally inappropriate and felt wrong for the occasion.
The leaver's event was supposed to be celebrating each child as they finished school and moved forwards.
Think what made it harder was one of the children to receive an award had been something of a bully in the last few months and my DD was bullied by the class teacher! So any awards should have been decided by the whole staff, not just one!

Oh great, so the no trouble, clever, well performing can't even get a tiny bit of attention even once a year! They are children who need acknowledgement too some time.

There are achievements and achievements. Not everything is straight-forward. Very few achievements are achieved solely by the achievers. My brother's ex-wife is French. Her children (bilingual) got hauled in front of the school, every year, for 'outstanding linguistic achievements' and awarded prizes and books. They are bilingual. Mine went to Alliance Francaise from age 5 and they are nowhere near as good as their niece and nephew.

In our small day school (without its own sports grounds) they celebrate sports achievements which have nothing to do with the school, it is embarrassing. We have a school magazine, where they regularly publish about our pupils winning horse-riding competitions, and skiing competitions, and the school does not offer these sports.

In our small private school tutoring is rife - but everybody keeps schtum about it - teachers understand tutoring goes on, parents know it, but nobody says a word - no, no, no, we don't have tutors is the mantra. By virtue of working where I am working, I know who receives maths tuition and by whom at our school, and how much is paid for it. However, everybody pretends that 'high achievers achieve by themselves'. Nobody comes to the state to receive a maths prize together with the tutor who crammed with them.

I am a firm believer in 'Everything you have was given to you. Why do you boast as if you did not receive it?'

Having said that, I would be the first to applaud a state school child with ill-educated parents who studied hard and achieved good grades despite the odds - those children's achievements should be celebrated both spiritually and financially, I think.

My dd has asd and scooped most of the awards each year (not sport or art) embarrassing. But the school did it to encourage the kids to be as good as they could be. The evening would showcase music, dance etc as well - she usually would asked to do something

There are awards for all different things, attendance, sports, academics. Let’s celebrate those we can rather than playing to the lowest denominator always. My youngest has a chronic illness requiring operations so will never get 100% attendance, struggles with many school sports in part due to his illness. We will be thrilled if he receives acknowledgment of his academic achievements.

Only gets worse at secondary school. My child has never been invited to the annual awards evening despite being in the top set for everything and in the top 2 in one subject. It has totally turned them off school to see less academic kids receiving subject awards (I get this may be for effort or improvement) and even several school bullies getting awards over them.

I'd like to see hard work and progress rewarded rather that achievement. All kids clever or not should learn the value of hard work and it should be recognised.

I completely agree with you!

I have to admit that they seem to be mostly the same kids though!

It's good that the kids see that all awards do not just go to the "trouble makers" for doing the bare minimum that is expected from everybody else. They know, who deserve a price and who just received it for no reason, they all know

We should be able to celebrate excellence.

Yep!!

I agree absolutely with a meritocratic system where exceptional ability is rewarded.

I always wanted to be a school prefect but was never selected. I was top of school in several subjects and always represented my house in both solo and team events. On prize day I walked off the platform with awards for French, history and English literature. At the time I felt quite bitter because the kids who were made prefect seemed unexceptional and dull. Looking back years later I realised that they were all rule followers and therefore role models. I have never been a rule follower. On the contrary I have always gamed the system and enjoyed it. That was why I was never chosen. That difference in my personality drove me to achieve rather than to conform.

It was like that at my kids’ school. My kids never used to get pupil of the week. I told them it was because they were consistently so amazing that they didn’t need the encouragement! They bought that and it gave them a boost. No idea if it was true or not!

Whilst on the subject of awards, don’t get me started on attendance awards! Totally unfair. How is it a kid’s fault if they’re ill? My friend’s kid missed out on getting one because she’d had one day off to go to her aunt’s funeral 😢

Not everybody is exceptional - and the sooner kids learn the better.

My daughter got a reading prize this year as the reader with the best intonation. This time last year she and I were reading together on the metro on the way to school and back because she was quite behind. Great that her hard work has been rewarded. She was very chaffed. Merit should be acknowledged.

These days most schools give out 'progress' and 'resilience' awards. These are basically for kids with lower targets who have worked hard or done well. Tbh it's the middle attainers who are worst of in my opinion.

Don’t you think that’s one of those nothing burger awards though?