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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What is going on in this house?

386 replies

Neighbourmystery · Yesterday 18:14

Right, this is going to sound nosy but here goes...
A house in a street I know was owned by an old lady with no family. When she died, her house stood empty for nearly a year then it started having work done. It's been bought by a health service far away from he town we live in (think I live in Liverpool and NHS Devon and Cornwall bought it) BTW these are not the real locations. So, they do lots of renovations, including putting a much higher fence up which has a key code entry they also put frosted film on every window. There's a new build extension on the side with coded keypads too. This is where 2 carers are. There are 4 carers altogether, 2 at a time and then a swap. There is one man who lives there . He is in his 30s , able bodied can move well etc I've seen him once or twice in the garden in a whole year. Another twice I saw a darkened van come to get him. He was only gone for an hour or so then back.
I cannot imagine the scenario this might be. I'm not curtain twitching and permanently watching but I am fascinated.

OP posts:
thelaughingowl · Yesterday 23:33

@NoctuaAthene - thanks so much. So interesting!

GarlicEverywhere · Yesterday 23:36

PyongyangKipperbang · Yesterday 18:37

Id wonder if it is someone who has been released from a secure psychiatric unit after a criminal conviction. Safe enough to be able to leave but not safe enough to be left alone.

My guess, too. But I'm hiding the thread or I'll catch the nosiness curiosity.

LochLoughton · Yesterday 23:39

Neighbourmystery · Yesterday 18:23

I am not trying to find out in real life. To be clear, I'm just interested. He's very healthy and able so I was just interested about the always 2 carers seperate living quarters and all the security etc

Not every disability is visible. Beiing 'just interested' to the point where you set up a discussion on a forum about it seems to cross some boundaries.

StripedTiger · Yesterday 23:47

I work in prison healthcare. The trust I work for manages the prison healthcare for many prisons that are very much out of its area, so maybe it’s a specialised service that a particular trust offers. I’d imagine, although the carers are employed by that trust, they will live locally.

And what’s the point in having neighbours if you can’t wonder what on earth they’re doing sometimes and make up random nicknames for them? Or is that just me?

Kirbert2 · Yesterday 23:48

Sounds like a man with severe autism and a learning disability or with severe MH issues.

Probably has to live alone for his/others safety.

ShhhYouDontKnowMe · Yesterday 23:58

Is there anything on your local planning portal OP? I’d be curious too, though not enough to ask anyone!

I think it’s unlikely the staff have travelled in from the other trust, more likely they’ve hired local people to staff the home.

Bumcake · Today 00:02

Aluna · Yesterday 20:57

You’ll just discuss it on here 🤓

Exactly, which does no harm and which some of us find interesting. I had no clue that such levels of care were provided.

Dragonflyspeeding · Today 00:09

There are a couple of houses near me like this. I can see into one of their back gardens from one of our back bedrooms. The houses near me are assisted living. There are always a number of staff who each spend a lot of time outside on their own in the back garden smoking and talking on their phones.

ShhhYouDontKnowMe · Today 00:11

Maybe threads like this will help people to understand why the cost of adult social care is such a huge pressure on LA and NHS budgets. This won’t be an isolated situation. Small group settings like this are often suited to younger adults vs a large residential home, especially as they may be less likely to have nursing care needs.

PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting · Today 01:33

That is a supported living home. The extension is almost certainly to have a bedroom for at least one of the carers to sleep in overnight. If you are correct @Neighbourmystery that the service usar is physically well, then he almost certainly has a severe mental health problem, but one that means he is only a danger to himself, unless his home is extremely secure.

The reason why he has moved so far from the health service that has funded the house move - although I would have thought that the buying of these properties would have been the responsibility of the council area he used to live in, not the health service per se - is possibly due to one of two frequent reasons, they are probably the most likely ones, as to why he has moved so far away from his previous area.

One is that where he lived before is no longer a healthy environment for him. Perhaps he knows too many people who wish him ill, sadly this often includes at least some of his own family members. Unfortunately, as you must know OP, there are far too many people these days who are scared of whatever it is that they don't understand. It seems like an increasingly, and alarming fact, that those who fear something, or someone, without even knowing whether they are a danger to anyone, apart from maybe themselves, are potentially much more dangerous than the person with mental health problems.

The other likely scenario for moving a very vunerable individual many miles from their previous home, is that they were originally from the area they are now residing in, and may have been moved away from because during the early days of their mental health crisis (please remember this is all supposition on my part) they were moved for treatment to somewhere else within their own country - I will assume England for now, as different countries within the UK have slightly varying rules and regulations, and I am more experienced in the English format - as specific residential mental health facilities are few and far between, and patients are often sent to one many miles from their own communities because there simply isn't a suitable placement any nearer to their original home.

I hope that my suggestion, which is really the same as many of the other posts by pp, has helped put your mind at rest, and OP, it is very normal to speculate about differing patterns, those out of the ordinary to us as individuals. But the danger comes when neighbours, family's and friends, etc. start gossiping - including sharing on social media, especially while using real names and places - about what the reason is for some unexplained occurance within their own daily sphere. So asking here about it was probably one of the safer options, but please do heed nearly everyone's advice, to not start chatting about your 'interest' in real life.

Brideofclover · Today 01:36

Neighbourmystery · Yesterday 18:23

I am not trying to find out in real life. To be clear, I'm just interested. He's very healthy and able so I was just interested about the always 2 carers seperate living quarters and all the security etc

How do you know they’re two carers?
How do you know they’re for him?
Maybe he lives with someone/wife who is severely disabled???

Hawksie · Today 02:04

Someone I know was in a set up like this for very severe and ensuring mental health rehabilitation in the community. She had been on various sections since 14 and was moved into accommodation with this set up when she was late 20s.

No real risk to anyone else but a massive risk to herself. Very good at masking when out and about, active and had family and friends supporting her.

Note the past tense, sadly it wasn't enough even with the high staffing levels and extra security. Places like this are often used as a stepping stone away from instituonalism... And they are often out of area due to costs but also as some patients fair far better to have a fresh start away from other patients, particularly when EUPD is concerned.

PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting · Today 02:07

Dragonflyspeeding · Today 00:09

There are a couple of houses near me like this. I can see into one of their back gardens from one of our back bedrooms. The houses near me are assisted living. There are always a number of staff who each spend a lot of time outside on their own in the back garden smoking and talking on their phones.

Unfortunately, how you describe the actions of the 'carers' at this facility are no-where isolated practices. People take on these roles because at the beginning there were many such adverts in their local paper etc. and some will have probably considered it to be an easy job, with probably little they need to do concerning the service user's personal care.

However, whether the intention of the new employee was to just get what they presumed would be an "easy' job, or if they did so because they have a genuine care for less fortunate individuals, the outcome is often sadly, but also understandably in many cases, that the carers get worn down, and worn out, by the many demands both physical and mental that the carer has to deal with daily. In fact, the more caring the carer is, the more likely they are to crumble sooner rather than later.

My own opinion is that the carers should be given more holiday leave - but not ridiculously more, as all these places need to be run as businesses as well - but also, they need to have their job titles rotated - where possible within the same company - so that they don't spend more than say, 6 months out of every 2 years, as a carer in such a strenuous placement.

Having said all that @Dragonflyspeeding I'm afraid that you should let the company employing those carers, know about what you are witnessing, if it really is excessive - the carers may well have more breaks than is usual in more common businesses - but if excessive, it does need changing for the sake and safety of both the client, and the carers.

flaminghot47 · Today 02:11

@Neighbourmystery if you would like to know, I suggest you just get chatting to the carers. They’ll spill the beans.

ForeverNowWithin · Today 04:24

SilenceInside · Yesterday 18:20

It’s hardly a mystery though is it? The man who lives there needs additional care for whatever reason and has carers there to manage that. That’s it. You don’t need any further info than that, and it would be incredibly nosy to try to find out any more than that.

What kind of 'additional care' could possibly involve an NHS trust buying a house and renovating it, putting privacy film over all the windows, having keypad access, an extension, and four carers coming and going for ONE man?

I have no idea if this sort of thing is normal but if it is then I'd like to know how/why because it seems like an outrageously over the top expense to me. How can they justify that sort of cost to the tax payer for one person?

ForeverNowWithin · Today 04:40

WhatsUpWithGene · Yesterday 18:46

I used to work in a similar sounding building with one man who had very severe autism and other disabilities, we were 5 to 1 carers in order to keep him safe.

He looked able bodied if you saw him walking round the garden outside but needed locked doors, windows and gates and total security for his own safety.
The windows were tinted as he got distressed when he could see outside as he didn’t like any subtle changes.
We also had a secure vehicle to take him out in for the day with tinted windows.
I absolutely adored him but it was hard work and could be scary.

It was a very expensive package and the staff needed a lot of training as it was such unique circumstances.

It sounds like it could be something similar or as others have said it could be housing offenders - that seems unlikely if it’s just one person though.

I’d be curious too and I don’t think that’s necessarily the same as being nosy so I don’t blame you for asking for opinions OP!

Ok so this explains the likely scenario very well and answers by questions above. Personally I think it's outrageous that all of those resources should go into caring for ONE person in a bespoke, individual setting like that. If he needed that level of care constantly he should have been in a larger, secure residential facility. No wonder the NHS is fucked in spite of the increasingly insane amounts of money pumped into it, if this is how we spend it.

Idontknownowwhat · Today 05:08

Sounds like a man who has a care package. I dont know about the NHS trust being so far away but weve had a supported living facility for one person on our street. Was never any trouble. He always had 2 carers. Young man also, he was physically fit but had pretty severe behavioural issues.
He would fairly often sit outside my house and we would have a chat sometimes. His carers would always be pretty close but he was never a problem.
One day I did go out and he was laid in the middle of the road...but he was calm, just needed to collect himself he said. He told me that my kid was like him.

I was bloody curious too when he first moved in.

LittleFootprintsInSand · Today 05:37

ForeverNowWithin · Today 04:24

What kind of 'additional care' could possibly involve an NHS trust buying a house and renovating it, putting privacy film over all the windows, having keypad access, an extension, and four carers coming and going for ONE man?

I have no idea if this sort of thing is normal but if it is then I'd like to know how/why because it seems like an outrageously over the top expense to me. How can they justify that sort of cost to the tax payer for one person?

It's not "normal" but does happen. The cost aspect, well we try not to put people in hospitals anymore for life. I understand cost is an element, but if someone needs something, they need it. What about people who need very expensive medicines? Or intensive care? Or children who require prosthesis changes as they grow? Or other very expensive treatment etc?

BeanQuisine · Today 05:39

You could ring the doorbell and when one of the "carers" answers, flash a fake ID and say "HQ sent me - they want him interviewed, just a short survey - it'll only take me 10 minutes."

Then, sounding very official but confidential, ask him some carefully selected questions about his stay there, is everything to his satisfaction, any suggestions etc., typing it all into your laptop.

Casually include the question, "Have you been informed exactly as to why you are staying here, and can you repeat that to me?"

A few more questions then thank him for his co-operation, thank the staff and be on your way, and report back to Mumsnet.

OwlBeThere · Today 06:05

A friend of mine suffered a serious medical error that almost killed her. She spent 5 years in a rehabilitation unit that is nowhere near where she is from but was the only place that does this kind of rehab, when she was discharged she had to stay in that area because that’s where all her medical team are. She won a pretty hefty pay out from the NHS and she bought a house with it, she lives there with carers that come in/live in her annex. So she actually bought and paid for the extensive renovations to her house herself. It could be something along these lines.
A person can look able bodied and still have extensive care physical care needs btw. Being able to walk around a garden doesn’t mean he doesn’t have physical disabilities,

OwlBeThere · Today 06:10

ForeverNowWithin · Today 04:40

Ok so this explains the likely scenario very well and answers by questions above. Personally I think it's outrageous that all of those resources should go into caring for ONE person in a bespoke, individual setting like that. If he needed that level of care constantly he should have been in a larger, secure residential facility. No wonder the NHS is fucked in spite of the increasingly insane amounts of money pumped into it, if this is how we spend it.

residential care settings are not appropriate for all people. care settings have a duty of care which includes the other patients not being put in harms way. If you had a relative who was in a care setting would you be ok with someone who is volatile and dangerous to be around them? Some people’s disabilities mean that a group setting puts everyone at risk.

OwlBeThere · Today 06:12

@Neighbourmystery do you know for sure that the NHS trust bought the property? Or are you assuming that because the person living there has live in carers? I just am curious as it’s possible that my friends neighbours assume that the NHS/Tax payer paid for the house and renovations to where she lives, but that isn’t the case, she paid for it herself from money awarded to her for extreme medical negligence.
Just a possibility.

Neighbourmystery · Today 06:37

Theend22 · Yesterday 23:06

How do you know that he is very healthy and able? Have you got a copy of his medical records?

I've addressed this point

OP posts:
Neighbourmystery · Today 06:42

LochLoughton · Yesterday 23:39

Not every disability is visible. Beiing 'just interested' to the point where you set up a discussion on a forum about it seems to cross some boundaries.

Not at all. No identifying features at all. I can chat about what I want and be curious about what is an unusual situation

OP posts:
Svelty · Today 06:42

OwlBeThere · Today 06:10

residential care settings are not appropriate for all people. care settings have a duty of care which includes the other patients not being put in harms way. If you had a relative who was in a care setting would you be ok with someone who is volatile and dangerous to be around them? Some people’s disabilities mean that a group setting puts everyone at risk.

And not necessarily much cheaper in some circumstances, or facilities won’t take people they can’t manage so a suitable placement may not be available. Local authorities are conscious of every penny these days so they won’t have done this lightly.