AIBU to tell my family about our separation by text now?

[UncannyGhostie]

Awkward one but AIBU?

My family (apart from my parents) don’t know that DH and I are now separated (don’t ask!) I really want to tell them now, my mum refuses and wants to tell everyone face to face. It’s been a year 😱

I really want to text my family now and tell them, my mum says it’s very rude and insists on individually speaking to everyone face to face which means many individual meetings 🙈 God knows what she will say or how long this will take.

DS birthday recently and my cousin sent Amazon parcels to the old family home. One for DS and one for both children to share which arrived late.

Ex sent me a picture of the opened package today, do you think he should have handed it to me as it was from my family? Or waited til both children were together? The one whose birthday it was is with me today.

I would have handed it to him if something had been delivered to mine as it wouldn’t be my place to open it. Also shame the youngest didn’t have the chance to open it with his sibling?

or am I being silly? It was a chocolate hamper 😋

Yes, I know the bigger issue is the fact my family have no clue that we have separated 😱

Why do you need approval or permission from your Mum - just message whoever you want to tell. There’s no need for face to meetings. Just do what you want to and not tell your Mum.

Write the text today, send it today. Then tell your Mum that is what you have done. She has no right to insist you do this face to face. JDI.

Its your relationship, not your mums, and its incredibly rude of her to insist on doing it a certain way, its none of her business!

'Hi xxx, just wanted to let you know that unfortunately Ex and I have separated, we are co-parenting amicably and the kids are doing well. Just letting everyone know so you're all in the loop, hope you are doing well xx'

DONE

Why aren't you still in the family home? Why did DH stay and you left?

It's been a year, you live separately so by all means let people know. You get to decide how you do this - message / call. It's not up to your mum.

You're an adult and a parent. You should be making these decisions yourself and doing what you feel is suitable.

It seems a very silly situation and a very drawn out one if it's been 1 year and people still don't know.

Just send a text yourself to the people you want to inform. This is your life and your decision.

It's your marriage OP, not your Mothers ffs!

Send a txt out to all family/friends you want to asap, and stop allowing others to dictate your own life !

You are an adult. Act like it.

You're being unreasonable by going along with this charade. Just tell your family then they'll know who to post stuff too. It's not up to your mum.

Write the text. I’m sure you don’t want long conversations with everyone.

Also, you are being unreasonable to expect your ex to hand the present to you. It wasn't yours it was your children's and it was already late. Why should they have to wait longer for it?

Just send your text, I don't know why your mum thinks it is her business and I don't understand why you are listening to her, yes some people will tell people face to face but there doesn't have to be a sit down meeting about it tell who you want and do it today, you.must be a ball off stress keeping it to yourself.

You’re old enough to be married and have your own kids but your Mum is managing your communications like you’re ten?

Is she ashamed her child’s marriage has failed and hoping to keep it secret forever more?

And if you tell your family about the split you can change your address with them as well,

What does it have to do with your mother?

Tell the person in your family who tells everyone everything, job done

Tell them. It’s your news and you don’t need permission from your mum FGS

This is quite bizarre. Just send the text with the key facts. ‘Dave and I are separating. He is currently staying here, I am there, the kids are here and there. We are amicably working out childcare arrangements and building new routines.’

he was fine the give the gift to the child as it was their gift not yours.

You are an adult. Your mum doesn’t get to control this. People will be glad/sorry/disappointed to hear your news however they hear it. I certainly don’t think anyone will be thinking how rude your communication was!

Just let everyone know today, however you want. Include a new address for any mail going forward.
It’s one less thing to worry about as soon as the text is sent 💪

Yes I would text everyone. I am a grown woman, and I’ll decide how I manage announcements.

‘DH/DP split up in xx. We have been trying to see you in person to tell you of our update but is taking a while. Thank you in advance for your love and understanding x’

Yes, she is ashamed and said everyone is going to be devastated and how the topic of conversation will be our divorce forevermore 🙄

Oh gawd it’s the mummy show!

You poor thing op. It’s 2026 and 1/2 marriages do not last, it’s fine! I would keep it brief, unemotional. I hope you have support in other areas. Your ‘poor me’ mother needs to get a grip.

I don’t understand. This is your news, not your mothers. Does she have form for making everything about her?

Just send a mass text to everyone.

Just tell them you've moved house and to send any post to your new address, no need for a fuss. Your mum sounds like a drama llama trying to shame you. No-one needs a face to face meeting. It will be news for a week or so and then everyone will get over it, especially they haven't even noticed for a whole year.
I wouldn't expect your ex to run around with parcels either, pick your battles.

One message, to everyone. Done.

This 🤷🏼‍♀️