AIBU to wonder why women still accept unequal relationships?

[Tinnybinnylinny]

I have been an avid lurker and infrequent commenter…..

Its 2026, women have had the vote for over a
hundred years, access to education, we are about three generations in for women being able to earn professional salaries…their own business/ whatever it is. Yet - why are women still raising male children to treat their partners/wives like crap (not all men, and of course no one posts when it’s a happy life)?.

Why do women:

a. Accept it?;

b. raise the next generation to do the same (I appreciate these are inter- linked).

I see it on so many threads on here and in real life. Women that are the high earners - and yet do everything for the kids and the partners/ husbands….

The law/ employers etc can change/ have all the polices etc, but it doesn’t matter….

What am I missing?

Gosh - I really think you missed English comprehension.

I am asking the question as to why it would seem
that women accept the bad behavior.

Now I have clarified that - do you have any thoughts? Or are you still going to insist on arguing a non - point.

I don’t seem really angry at all. I just think you are part of the problem, you clearly blamed women in your OP asking why they are raising the next generation of men to treat women badly… and yet you just deny that’s blaming women. You can’t seem to see your own misogyny.

Women aren’t weak. Clearly they have kept the human population going for centuries DESPITE being treated like shit mostly by men. Who do you think are having the next lot of people??? It’s the women on this thread and all over the world who are juggling a thousand plates and carrying the mental load. They do it because they have babies. And they are more important than most other things.

So come on now. You are so ignorant and clearly have very little actual life experience! I find it hard to believe you are a woman / or have ever had a relationship because I think the answers to your question are blatantly obvious to almost all women. You definitely don’t have kids… when you do it will be an absolute eye opener for you!

There are also plenty of seemingly smart women who end up quite happy to jack in good jobs, studies and skills to pander to their families’ whims while the men get to further themselves.
Then squark that it isn’t fair later.

That must be it! I am approaching late 40’s…..

I suppose a lot of it is being raised to do so, and much of it must be natural temperament. Women generally seem weaker in temperament, which means willing to put up with absolute shit much more readily, and more desperate to please than men, partially through fear, partially maybe genetics.

I was always a stroppy cow, thank God.

I can make allowances for being a weakling who tolerates the intolerable in younger women who perhaps haven't seen women who do better up close.

For many, it's like being a fish swimming in a filthy aquarium - how can you imagine what a clean tank of water is if you've never experienced it?

But I have no patience left for women over 30 who are cringing doormats and apologists for their shitty Nigels.

Do better, or stop whining and just put up with it.

You can try to be condescending but your words speak for themselves. You have consistently blamed women for who men choose to be: either because a woman raised him or a woman dates him. Yet nowhere have you asked why men act this way. Don’t pretend that you just asked why women accept it. You also blamed mothers for raising men to be this way.

When you acknowledge the accountability of fathers and men in relationships maybe I will believe you are anything more than a goady misogynist.

You should question where your misogyny comes from? Maybe you were raised with the belief that women are responsible for what men do?

wanted to add - have you considered that all the women before you in your genetics have all likely experienced inequality, and their life efforts have all accumulated in you existing.

Hundreds of women have gone before you, each of them having a baby and caring for that baby allowing the next one to be born.
You’re the end one in that line.

if be so disappointed if in 200 years time or whatever, I knew a future woman of my dna had this narrow minded perspective 🫠

What’s funny OP is you are part of the problem you are allegedly complaining about.

I never said women were weak. I asked why women, not all women, put up with such bad behaviour from men?

I have had a lot of life experience, and no I don’t have children, just a lot of dead babies - but that is a whole other thread.

From your comment you are one of those women that judge other women on their fertility/ choice to have children, as of course the childless/ child free could not possibly understand life, right?

Why would she be asking why men act this way when her question is why do women act this way?

She's clearly asking why women behave the way women do. It obviously upset you that she pointed out many are raising misogynists and lazy arseholes, and certainly it would have been better to say "and obviously men are just as much to blame for their poor parenting and poor outcomes for children" - but she is focused, right now on why women do what women do.

It's not hard to accept, she's allowed to focus on any topic she wants, and you are being unpleasant and pedantic and there is simply no need.

You literally said ‘why are women so incredibly weak’

@Dontlletmedownbruce Hard disagree.
My husband is Priority 1 for school for our little girl - if she's sick or they need to make contact I expect the office to call him first. In my line of work I cannot answer my phone nor leave quickly whereas my husband can do both of those things in his.
I'm not falling into the misogynistic trap of "Mother as Default Parent" that so many other women seem to just accept.

We must not read the same threads, and all your friends must be in equal partnerships. where is this utopia?

You appear to be in the minority.

Because she alleges not to be blaming women.

And yet did it throughout her OP. Hence I asked if she is really not a misogynist, why is she placing all responsibility for who men choose to be, on women. I thought that was obvious, I stated it quite clearly.

To be clear - I’m not upset. No idea why you would think. I find OP’s misogyny tiresome. But there is nothing “upsetting” in that post.

Did she? I honestly missed that can you link to that comment.

Why don’t you finish it - to put up with the behaviour?

Not that women are weak. Fact. End of.

We all know that women are in the main doing everything, but yet seem to put up with the bad behaviour or men? That is what the post was about - am sorry if it didn’t come across that way.

@Tinnybinnylinny Good! I would never accept anything less but equal parenting of our daughter between my husband and I. Same goes for working and housework.

Maybe RTFT then before labelling people “unpleasant” for pushing back against misogyny.

@Duckagogosecond sentance.

Part of the problem IS blaming women for men's bad behaviour and seemingly giving men a free pass.

Of course how a child is raised has some impact but time and time again, it is only mothers who are blamed. What about the fathers? Especially as a role model to boys/young men. At some point, men also need to take responsibility for their own actions and how they were raised can't be an excuse.

A lot of women do actively seek an imbalanced relationship though e.g. SAHM and Mr Big Job.

Also it’s a cop out blaming parents. I am sure everyone of us has things we were raised with as children that we abandoned in our households and our parents, grandparents etc before us.

But for some reason men are just helpless little plants and cannot be expected to be better people unless a woman (their mother or their wife) makes them that way.

Sorry you're right, I did miss that must have skimmed it.