To feel inadequate seeing naked women in movies?

[Frankie47]

Whenever I see naked women in movies they always have amazing bodies and I massively spiral afterwards comparing my old, very flat chested body to theirs. Today I watched some of American Pie and when it got to the bit where ‘Nadia’ strips off and they’re watching her masturbate, I really felt awful about myself. Was very painful to feel so inadequate and know that i don’t have the body that she has so I will never have men desire me like that. I know it’s a fictional character obviously but the actress and her body do represent the ideal that I can’t match up to. How do others stop themselves feeling this?

That movie is almost 30 years old. The Nadia actress is beautiful but even she doesn't look like that anymore, which is normal and natural as we age.

In fact, I saw a Christmas movie the actress had done recently, and she looks far more normal. Still as beautiful in the face!

They are also a LOT less picky than you think. They are more visually driven, ture, but that visual attraction can be for skinny or curvy or muscly women, tall or short. It's not one-size-fits all.

Yabu, their job is to look like that and they have all the tools and tricks and everything is aimed at Joe they look!! Oh and actually the amount of times I’ve watched eg Graham Norton and an actress has told about the diet they have to be on (steamed chicken and fish, no carbs etc), I feel like I want to fall over myself!

Films are made up and a lot of artifice goes into creating the images you see. Make up, hair, lighting, editing, use of body doubles. Virtually no one IRL looks like the naked woman you see on the screen.

Well actresses aren’t immune to body insecurity hence plastic surgery etc. Don’t forget what you see can be manipulated eg good lighting, body doubles & digitally altering/touching up.

There are some very wise replies here already but I just wanted to say that in the 90s and 00s I felt just like you do and I could have written your post word for word. In fact I didn’t watch American Pie for many years when it was released because I knew films like that triggered me.

At age 29 I finally met someone who loved me for me, and that, plus generally caring less as I’ve aged has enabled me to move on from my irrational way of thinking.

There are all sorts of people in the world, and some are just genetically destined to be more “beautiful”. I have realised though that I am just as attracted to an ordinary bloke with flaws as I am to some perfectly chiselled actor, and I get now how that works the other way around for men fancying women, too.

The only comparison worth making is between "You, yesterday" and "You, tomorrow"

Everything else is pointless.

For every skill you have, every lovely bit, every ugly bit, every intelligent thought, etc ... there will always be someone who is more skilled, more intelligent, etc.

And always someone who is less skilled, less intelligent, etc.

Being average looking is not a cause for concern... settle for having a good intellect or being a great person

Your body may be ugly, I doubt that it is. As someone whose body can’t always do what I want it to do when I want it to I don’t give a toss about whether some body double or actress that’s considerably younger than me has a better body than me. Comparison is the thief of joy, be thankful for what your amazing body can do.

That's not always true. I am a man. My wife was attractive to me for many reasons. Age changed both of our bodies, and illness removed parts of hers. I loved her regardless. It's what is inside a balloon that makes it go up.

I often think they have entire teams behind them to look so wonderful. If I had them I’d look rather different too.

I think women can be just as visual tbh, I certainly am!

If you genuinely believe your value is determined by how sexually attractive random men might find your body, you need therapy to be honest.

Is that what you think when you see a woman who is overweight, elderly, with unusual features? You think she’s of low value? You sound like a misogynist.

'my attractiveness is about my value as a woman' : I don't swear often, but this comment made me really really annoyed. No it bloody doesn't.

This is the type of thing that an immature man would think...... and, come to think of it, .... the trans community.

Op - are you trans?

I think hair and makeup make far more difference than we imagine. Not to mention lighting.

Last year we ended up staying in a hotel where a famous beauty pageant was taking place.

The contestants were all beautiful young women and several times we ran into them in the lifts or public areas. What was quite interesting was that, out of ‘costume’ in daytime, they didn’t really stand out. In fact, several times, my DH didn’t appear to notice and it was me who remarked on the fact that we had just gone through a doorway or shared a lift with Miss Whoever. But one evening I happened to go down to the foyer when they were coming back from an evening event and they looked incredible, there were certainly men staring at them then with glazed eyes!

So I think that a lot of it is smoke and mirrors.

They act like they're picky, but they'd fuck an unconscious 70 year old

They are employed because of those bodies. I don’t watch the Olympics and feel
inadequate

OP I really do think you need help.

I am overweight, have a c section scar and overhang, have thread veins all over my thighs and stretch marks on my stomach.

My husband tells me I look lovely every day. He tells me how sexy I am all the time. Maybe he’s lying but I doubt it. It’s not the case that you have to look like Nadia from American pie for men to find you attractive ffs.

I don’t even see the people of tv as real people - they may as well be cartoons to me. I feel a bit jealous when I’m at the beach but it’s definitely jealousy not inadequacy

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Learn to love your pancake tits. At least you won't have to worry about the sag and won't need a bra designed like a cantilever bridge.

Make a list of all the advantages of being flat chested.

This is such a sad way to live your life . And in case you didn’t realise there is a vast amount of men who prefer flat chested women.

Those scenes just make me angry. They’re there for a male gaze. And fortunately there are fewer and fewer in mainstream movies because there are more and women in technical and artistic roles.
it’s naff and old fashioned in fact. Try and watch movies which have strongly scripted female lead roles

A lot of the actors use body doubles OP.

Bluntly, as a demographic, all too often men will fuck vacuum cleaners, pies (talking of American Pie), animals, and even other men if there are no women around... Their ideals are (generally) just whether or not there's a warm hole to stick their dick in. So I wouldn't put any stock in measuring yourself by what men find appealing.

Anyway the rarer decent men will have realistic 'standards', and just want a woman they have sexual chemistry with (which isn't always based on conventional attractiveness), who is also a good life partner for them in terms of personality and values.

The sort of man who is worth dating won't be comparing you to actresses' bodies on the big screen – he'll just be happy to be with you.

I think obvs there are some men who have very very specific preferences. But I think loads are just like Elizabeth Gilbert says in eat pray love,

'Let me ask you something, in all the years that you have...undressed in front of a gentleman has he ever asked you to leave? Has he ever walked out and left? No? It's because he doesn't care! He's in a room with a naked girl, he just won the lottery.'

I think most men feel like that tbh.

This is kind of a mad take though. My grandparents were married for almost 65 years. Very clearly adored each other. Very much in love in their late eighties/early nineties when sadly my grandfather died. My grandmother, I think, was beautiful, but I highly doubt she would’ve “turned heads” for the vast vast majority of their marriage 🤣 Didn’t stop my grandfather loving her deeply!

I’m not sure what you think happens in normal relationships. But two people looking like oil paintings until they get divorced isn’t my experience of reality.