How common is autism among close family and friends?

[momtoboys]

Posting here for traffic. It has long seemed to me that very frequently a post on mumsnet includes mentions of SEN, autism, etc. Posters mention children having these traits, the poster has these traits, a friend or a partner. It appears that it is way more prevalent that I could have imagined.

How many of us have a person who is close to them (either family of friend) that has been diagnosed with autism? Thanks!

1 friend I know is That's all

DS 7 is autistic (and adhd) and DD 11 is awaiting assessment.

My nephew (16) is being assessed and a cousin (19) on DHs side is diagnosed. I think that’s it within our family.

In our friendship group, that I’m aware of, one friend (55) and her 3 adult children. Can’t think of anyone else.

My dad (not diagnosed but clearly autistic), me, my siblings, their children, all have a diagnosis. My kids don’t have a diagnosis but have traits they are in their 20’s). There is a huge difference in our abilities.

Sorry, I meant to say National Autistic figures say this (as recorded stats)

Diagnosed? My step nephew, non verbal will never live independently.

Non Diagnosed, my nephew, 40, very high functioning.

I mean several of my friends and acquaintances claim their kids are autistic but none of them actually have it. They are just too lazy/ignorant/incompetent to parent “difficult” (ie normal) kids.

None. Everyone else seems to have got our share.

Within my immediate family and friends I’d say about 90% of them are neurodiverse.

Including my parents, my dd, all my nieces and nephews, my best friend and pretty much all of my friends kids.

I suspect I’m probably somewhere on the spectrum as well.

Autism runs in my family. My mum vas asd. I am and 2 children are. I realised this late.

Thanks @Savvysix1984. Dd does like crocheting :)

Still no sign of op! Where are you @momtoboys and what was your motivation for starting this thread?

My husband is definitely autistic, would have warranted an asbergers diagnosis back in the day definitely. My son is too, not yet diagnosed but ok the pathways and under neurology and neuropsychology for various issues and consensus is likely ASD and ADHD.

My dad was adopted so has adoption trauma which definitely looks a lot like ADHD, my mum's side of the family she is 1 of 9 and various physical disabilities and developmental issues among her siblings and she had some physical disabilities. Of me and my 4 siblings I'd say 3 of us definitely ADHD however again we had a lot of trauma growing up and that can masquerade as ADHD. 1 nephew and 1 niece diagnosed ASD and my husband's first cousin diagnosed ASD. These people are all adults now so these diagnosis are on old criteria.

I think there's a strong genetic component then also a strong draw between Neurodivergent people because you suddenly feel so understood. So more double Neurodivergent parents and dating is easier for Neurodivergent people since online dating became a thing. That's where I met my husband of 20 years.

So I think either you are from a ND family and therefore know loads of ND people or you're from a largely NT family and therefore eschew the ND people as weirdos to an extent.

I dunno mate, doesn't sound like those are friends. Or at least doesn't sound like you're a friend.

My son is Neurodivergent and I parent my socks off with him, including literally consulting several schools of medical and educational professionals and wearing myself out completely being on high alert to manage any issues he has. I definitely get judged by people like you.

My 5 year old daughter I could parent while half asleep. The child takes herself to the loo, washes her hands, picks her toys up, can be reasoned with, is able to tell me all her needs and how her body feels if she's unwell. I parent her generally with as much effort as I parent my son but when it's just me and her people will cross the road to compliment me on my parenting. Old ladies beam at us across cafes charmed by her. And yet I can literally phone it I , totally relax because it's very unlikely she's going to do something out of the ordinyor dangerous or offensive.

My son though on some settings has gotten up and bolted from cafes, become overwhelmed and curled in a ball under a table or in a walkway etc etc, there is no taking your eye off the ball.

1 diagnosed adult daughter with ADHD and son in law also diagnosed ADHD. 2 granddaughters both diagnosed ASD and ADHD. I suspect my husband is also ND but he is not diagnosed.

Growing up, my sister had autism.

As an adult, my 3 kids have autism, one of which is profoundly affected. Non verbal with a developmental age of 12-18 months at almost 5 years old.

Their father, grandma on father's side and myself all seem to have lots of traits.

Im almost certain us 3 adults would be diagnosed if we were assessed.

That’s exactly the point I was making.
It seems that many MNetters, I won’t say most, appear to have ND in their family. So many, in fact, that ND seems entirely normal…

I think it's way higher than this. Many people I know inc close family.

No formal diagnosis, but DH, DS and FIL all have pretty strong traits - DH and DS are very aware of this, FIL is either oblivious or refuses to acknowledge. Recently DD has suggested she has traits too, which I hadn't picked up when she was younger, but as she is now a primary school teacher with a specific interest in SEND she recognises some traits in herself that she sees in children with a diagnosis.

Until very recently, experts confidently asserted that autism only affected men and boys. Now we know that is nonsense, the other 50% of the planet is being seen and acknowledged and so many women being diagnosed. So there's one reason for an increase. Mum's late cousin who was considered a 'peculiar genius' by the family only started being assessed when she was in her 80s.

And people who were previously just dismissed as stupid, awkward or strange are now receiving more respect and being properly identified.

They were always there. They're just being seen.

Prevelance is nearly 3% in males and it's thought the difference in females is due to under diagnosis. Heritability is 80% ish. So it's not really that surprising that you find a child has it and so does a parent and siblings.

Researchers do, however, seem to be coming to the conclusion that what we call Autism is actually several different conditions that have a lot of overlapping symptoms. Presumably most of which are also highly heritable. So we may see some changes to our understanding in the next decade or two.

I have one already diagnosed ADHD child who school are convinced is also autistic waiting assessment.

my sister and ex are also on waiting list.

I have a friend who I suspect is - her husband and daughter are diagnosed adhd and her son has a lot of autistic traits.

another friend whose daughter is diagnosed and I suspect may be as well.

i do wonder about myself sometimes….

My son has severe ADHD and autism. He is adopted and it's definitely genetic ! I know the birth family.

No it’s just that if you’re NT you tend to stick to your people and if it’s not in your genes then you’re less likely to have it in your family, too.
Autistic people tend to know a higher percentage because it’s genetic and we flock together. I can spot someone pretty quickly and I know that we will get along.

At least 7 in our extended family, at different points on the scale. I know of GC of friends too.

I understand it's highly genetic. According to Simon Barron Cohen (professor/clinical psychologist at Cambridge and cousin of Sasha) if your sibling has a diagnosis for autism you are 200 times more likely to also have autism. One of my family has a diagnosis but I suspect all of us in the nuclear family would get a diagnosis if we pursued it. Looking across wider family I see a significant number who would likely get a diagnosis too. One of two have a diagnosis. There are also diagnosed dyslexia and ADHD within family. So my perception is that it is more widespread than we understand