How common is autism among close family and friends?

[momtoboys]

Posting here for traffic. It has long seemed to me that very frequently a post on mumsnet includes mentions of SEN, autism, etc. Posters mention children having these traits, the poster has these traits, a friend or a partner. It appears that it is way more prevalent that I could have imagined.

How many of us have a person who is close to them (either family of friend) that has been diagnosed with autism? Thanks!

But so many autistic people do manage to function well.

I've got it as has my brother and 2 cousins on our dad's side

I've got several friends with it

Can I ask what traits make you think you are? (Apart from the genetic links) as I do wonder about myself too, but no one in my family has been diagnosed.

They're probably masking. Or they're managing now until they reach burnout

Nobody diagnosed but a very strong suspicion with two of the grandparents (always just labelled “a bit odd” or “extremely stubborn” , now much falls into place) and daughter currently being assessed for ADD.
But there is a huge difference between a non-verbal autistic person or one who has physical movements and people who can hold down jobs or marriages but just have strange traits and lack social skills. There is such a spectrum.

True, this is based on recorded stats. However, not half population if you're talking autism. I think the highest recorded is over 3% so 50% would be statistically improbable. I do absolutely agree though that it is higher than even the 3%.

I have one diagnosised child and one going through assessment and I suspect I’m autistic too.

ND people are more likely to choose to read and comment on threads about autism as they have experience. ND people are more likely to have family members and friends who are ND than NT people.

I am, my partner is - his dad absolutely is but would never be assessed.

My sister is, my dad again, absolutely is, but would never be assessed, my Mum, possibly, she died at 63 and I don't know what may have been autism masked with alcoholism, or TBI masking autism, or was there never any ASD traits there. She was a very black and white thinker, very blunt, liable to seriously overreact if things were not done her way, or plans change... but lots of things could explain that.

A lot of my friends are, because you do tend to make friends with people on the same wavelength as you, who understand how you think.

Im certain theres loads of people out there who aren't, but then I would be unlikely to be close friends with them!

Nobody in my family has been diagnosed with autism but since trying to get a diagnosis for my son, who we’re pretty sure is autistic, I’ve realised that a lot of my family do have autistic traits and may be on the spectrum just not diagnosed, including myself. You won’t always know if family and friends are autistic, especially women as autistic women are diagnosed less often.

It is at most 7% across all global populations where ND has been studied, if it was as much as half the world would be more conveniently arranged for ND brains.
”Everyone is a bit ND” is just lazy extrapolation, it’s like saying everyone is a bit left handed because they have two functioning hands.
ND brains are built and arranged differently to NT brains, but we’re all humans. If ND was fully accepted and accommodated in all settings nobody would meet the diagnostic criteria (because diagnosis requires struggle), but ND brains would still be different.

Yes definitely.
I'm a teacher, and I'd put it at least 4% official diagnosis in my school right now, so probably a much higher percentage of the population.

DH's late uncle almost certainly had undiagnosed autism. One of his sons is diagnosed, his other son is NT as far as we know.

My DD has said that she thinks her grandfather (brother of the late uncle) has autistic traits, no one else in the family does.

10% diagnosed is a huge proportion in a primary school, given that assessment waiting lists are so long! Whereabouts are you in the country?

I had no idea I was (well, still don’t, no desire for diagnosis) until all the awareness came out, then I think I, like many many others, thought ‘hang on, I tick every single box.’ Not the extreme non-functioning kind though, and I do think it should have a different name. It all makes sense though. I can get on so so well immediately with some people (other NDs oversharing straight away, deep talks about one topic only) but with a NT I find it so difficult to break through to something:anything!

my two best friends have autistic children

When I was young I did some voluntary work with children with autism. This is decades ago.
Then the word autism was really used for those who were severely socially unable to engage with the world.
It wasn’t a term used for many who I think today are described as having it.

I’m autistic diagnosed 5 years ago, my son is diagnosed 9 years ago. My niece is on pathway. My friends son is autistic. I’m aware of at least 3 other autistic children in DS school year . In my DDs year there was an autistic child we knew. My DDs sil is autistic.

Me. I don’t know anyone else who is.

I work in an ASD service so I’ve met 100’s of autistic children and adult.

in my own family (parents, 5 sibling, nieces and nephews) nobody is diagnosed though my nephew likely is.

1%?

I'm Autistic, 4 of my dc are Autistic. 1 siblings definitely Autistic. My dad...

Hardly any, either diagnosed or with noticeable traits. if there are they are masking incredibly well

I know quite a lot of people and move in a few circles and I’m not from a small family either. they only one I can think of close to me is my cousins son.

there a few kids in the school but 1-2% prevalence seems about right to me. Incidence online seems to be higher than in real life, in my experience

My DH and child.

Parents of ND kids are online a lot more in general as we often can’t work full time due to caregiving responsibilities, and we’re also pretty socially starved because we can’t get out much and our partners are typically introverted to the point of misanthropy/reclusivity, and we are more likely to be seeking parenting support because of the challenges our families face, and we are less likely to be able to attend in-person support groups (thanks to a child at home who doesn’t leave the house or can’t be left in the care of others) so we make up a larger percentage of the MN posting population than the population IRL.

I’m autistic with ADHD. It’s genetic, so several family members are too. Some of them have married other autistic people and have children who are likely autistic as well. I was the first in my generation to be diagnosed, after some very rough years in my teens. Co-morbid conditions run in the family as well, so we have an array of allergies, immune system issues, hypermobility, and dysautonomic syndromes across the family tree.

My three closest friends are also all neurodivergent, two autistic with ADHD and one just with ADHD. One also has a young child who isn’t diagnosed with anything yet, but has developmental delays and is likely to be assessed in the future. As PPs have said, we tend to flock together- I find other autistic people quite easy to get along with, especially as I’m not a people person!

No diagnoses in my family (but that makes sense as the genetic component is huge so all families are likely to have several or none rather than 1 or 2). Lots of us have traits but we wouldn't ever meet any threshold.

Loads of friends though (and their families). I spend my life (work and hobby) doing performing arts and ND is very common in those circles.

The 1% confuses me too. I don't disbelieve it as it's an official, knowlegable source but all around me it seems more like 20%. I teach in a non selective independent school though so we do have a lot more ND (especially undiagnosed) than most state schools will.