How common is autism among close family and friends?

[momtoboys]

Posting here for traffic. It has long seemed to me that very frequently a post on mumsnet includes mentions of SEN, autism, etc. Posters mention children having these traits, the poster has these traits, a friend or a partner. It appears that it is way more prevalent that I could have imagined.

How many of us have a person who is close to them (either family of friend) that has been diagnosed with autism? Thanks!

My 50 year old cousin is. Her dad is Audhd. Her dad's family are split. 4 of his siblings are NT as are their child the other 3 I would say have autistic and ADHD traits and so do their children

My 50 year old cousin is. Her dad is Audhd. Her dad's family are split. 4 of his siblings are NT as are their child the other 3 I would say have autistic and ADHD traits and so do their children

My older 2 children have been diagnosed with autism/autism and ADHD. It affects them
in different ways mostly. The younger one has SEN too and goes to a special school. He’s smart in his way but I can’t envisage him living independently or holding down a full time job- through no fault of his or anyone else’s. The older one got mostly A’s and equivalent in her GCSE’s and is predicted the same for her A-levels. She’s planning to go
to university. Time will tell with the littlest one because they’re only a toddler but I wouldn’t be surprised. We will deal with that if it happens.

I haven’t been diagnosed with being on the spectrum. I’m pretty sure I have ADHD but it’s not going to be life changing to find out officially, I just go about my life using coping strategies to make certain things easier for
me, to organise my life basically. There’s a lot of diagnosed and undiagnosed ND in my family. There’s a fair bit in the family trees of the fathers of all of my children. ND is/can be genetic which makes sense.

I was diagnosed with autism when I was 16. My son has just been diagnosed at 5. My grandmother was always considered “quirky” by some and “bloody difficult” by others and looking back over my memories and things my mum has said I think she may well have had a touch of the tism. Obviously back then she would never have been diagnosed but I think it was probably autism and I think if she’d been born much later she would have had a much happier life.

You'll find it is either that 95% of your friends and family are ND (with a mix of autism and ADHD), or you don't really know anyone who isn't neurotypical although you have your suspicions about that guy at work who really loves aeroplanes and a few kids in your DC's class.

My ds is autistic - diagnosed 13 years ago but has a genetic neuro disorder.

His dad’s half brother is autistic.

i have 2 cousins (not siblings) who have autistic children and another (again not a sibling to the others) who’s youngest ds js also likely Autistic

my 2 closest friends have an autistic child but their other children aren’t and show no signs.
Our children were 9,18 and 12 when we became friends so it wasn’t through the kids (through work) and I think it’s because we all have similar personalities but we are not ND not have any traits.

Neurodiversity runs all through my family on one side, I have relatives diagnosed with ASD, dyslexia and dyspraxia some of whom have more than one of them. I also think I have quite a number of relatives that are undiagnosed.

I have autism and my eldest has autism, my youngest shows traits of adhd. Neurodivergentcy runs in families. So if you have theres a possibility your child will have it and vice versa

It runs in families, we tend to get jobs with other autistic people, and we most easily form friendships with autistic people. If a person is autistic, they are likely surrounded by autism and that is a good thing.

I have a few hobbies that tend to attract the ASD crowd. It’s amazing how different the communication style is when we are the majority. It’s wonderful. Everyone is so relaxed and we just jump into deep conversations like it is nothing. There is no small talk. People walk up to one another and give compliments or ask questions. It’s just the most open and sharing experience, regardless of why we are gathered.

My DS and DN are both autistic (level 2). I suspect that my DM, both DBs, my DD, my other DS and I would all get a diagnosis by today’s standards. In fact my DB’s GP assumed he had an autism diagnosis already and was staggered to learn he didn’t when he tried to refer him to a support group. DB wasn’t happy!

I’m autistic, diagnosed with Asperger’s in the 2010’s when I was a teenager.

Both of my siblings are diagnosed autistic, diagnosed when they were in primary school. My Mum is diagnosed, only diagnosed in the past few years though.

DH is autistic and was diagnosed in the early 2000’s as he was selectively none verbal. His nephew is also diagnosed. I suspect my grandmother and both of my in laws are too but not diagnosed. I also have 3 cousins who are diagnosed plus one who I suspect. It’s definitely prevalent in my family and I believe myself and DH get on so well because we understand each other in a way most others don’t.

2 x DNs on XH's side and also XH's cousin's DC have autism diagnoses (all received whilst still in primary).

DP has an ADHD diagnosis (since we got together) and both his DC have autism (diagnosed as teens).

Two of my friends (intelligent, have really looked into it, wouldn't just say it for the sake of it) think they probably have ADHD but aren't going to seek a diagnosis as don't see the point at this age.

Friend's DD has ADHD and I think friend probably does, too.

I attended some ND awareness training at work, and can see traits in various family members, though I suspect not to the extent of meeting a diagnostic threshold. But suppose that's why many people say things like "we're all on the spectrum" (which I think is really unhelpful). I do wonder if growing up around particular traits means you gravitate towards people who are similar.

I know one family member on XH's side thinks there are several other family members who likely have autism but are older and unlikely to consider it or accept it if true.

My own DD is waiting for a return appointment with a consultant. They said she doesn't have ADHD but some social communication issues have been highlighted as warranting a further conversation. We've been waiting months, though, so I don't expect much.

DD has quite a lot going in with symptoms of OCD and anxiety, but nothing seems to be bad enough (in the medical experts' opinion) for any kind of diagnosis. I see it a bit like a landscape where she has spikes in certain areas. A mountain has to be a certain height to qualify as a mountain (~ threshold for diagnosis), and DD's topography doesn't seem to include any certified mountains, but it's seriously hilly terrain with not-quite-mountain spikes all over the place. Not sure if that makes sense outside my head! I recognise that I possibly have a couple of hills that are similar to some of hers, but am otherwise a gently rolling landscape with some varying features, but only to the extent that they make me an individual, not that they cause any issues.

So quite a few people close to me. Is that because it's more prevalent than we realise or because I'm drawn to a certin type of person? Or both? Who knows?!

My son is autistic. Would likely have received an Asperger’s diagnosis when that was still given, but struggles enough that he requires specialist schooling.

I don’t think DH or I are autistic, but I think my brother definitely is (he agrees) and my FIL probably is too. I also see traits in family members on my mum’s side.

I don't have any close family or friends who are autistic. However I do have a work colleague who is probably autistic but not formally diagnosed. They have worked for many years in the same organisation and although no formal adjustments have been made over time other staff have changed their approach in he way in which they interact with him. He is very focused and pays a lot of attention to detail but isn't able to multi task and struggles if there is more than a minimal amount of noise.

I convinced a significant amount of my family have undiagnosed autism

Autism and ADHD run in both mine and DH's families. I suspect it's a case of "like attracts like" which is why it seems so prevalent in some groups and is almost non-existent in others.

I have autism, as do my dad and his sister. Their dad would undoubtedly have been diagnosed too. Sisters' eldest is also autistic. Another sister is ADHD as are her children.

DH has ADHD and I suspect both parents are/were ND - dad definitely autistic and I suspect mum was too. DH is probably also autistic but undiagnosed and I would say the same for at least one of his siblings.

I also have several friends who are autistic.

What has happened is social media.
And as a result you get lots of people advising someone they don’t really know.

Not diagnosed but we have a friend we suspect is autistic. His partner is positive he is.

I have a colleague with an autistic son. Severely so, he is 23 but can’t live independently. Sadly, he can’t live with her as he’s violent.

It's a whole spectrum - some people live with it - and live WITH people with it - others cannot live without support - or would be safe being independant. I do think it is over-diagnosed and misdiagnoses - or ignored by schools and parents- (I have an autistic son)

My children (3) all have ND diagnosis. It probably comes from both me and my Ex. A Niece is also diagnosed, and I can see traits in grandparents. I also work for an organisation (very Mathsy) which attracts a lot of ND people.
And then my children in their own way have made a lot of ND friends.
I was dyspraxic (obviously although it wasn’t really a diagnosis then) as a child. 1 of my children was diagnosed at 9 (but had already diagnosed herself), another was diagnosed as dyslexic at 6/7.

Autism runs in one side of my family, probably through generations. Luckily (as I have seen the struggles of people in my family) I (and my DC) did not inherit it

I am (tiptoe walking, speech issues, relationship issues) but have managed to work full time for 40 years, and one sister. One niece. Both also working professionally.

An aunt who was labelled the family's black sheep. Going back further, a distant great aunt who was sent to an institution for being "unmanageable"

Ds and all the other boys in the family seem to have avoided it.

Where are you op? Do you know anyone who's autistic? I'm guessing not, and that your question was rhetorical and intended as a "gotcha" ("why, op, you're right, we don't know anyone who's autistic in real life, so they must all be pretending"). FFS!

The 1% thing is wildly inaccurate. Im a teacher and just thinking of my last few classes, there's can be 3-6 per 30 diagnosed with Autism.

I have Autism too, and I'm astounded it wasn't picked up in school. I was alone almost the entire time. I dont know anyone outside my family with it (in my family there is some recently diagnosed level 1 types plus profoundly autistic diagnosed 25+ years ago) because I keep to myself and don't have any friends!

The criteria is way too wide. Even the 1-3 levels aren't great. Im more disabled than level 1 but don't quite meet everything on level 2. I also think the 'impact on life' is way too subjective. Will people consider themselves disabled socially if they don't have a big group of friends?

@momtoboys asd effects about 4% of the general population and often runs in families.
Unfortunately many people self diagnose or get diagnosed by useful idiots on the Internet because they have a few traits or think that they or their family members are displaying traits. The big problem with this is its perfectly possible to be neurotypical and still display some asd traits and most people either dont realise this or are so desperate for a label that they ignore it.
Basically there's an artificial over representation of people claiming to be autistic (who aren't autistic) usually shouting over actually autistic people, taking over asd support groups and often spouting nonsense about it being a super power.
Hint asd is not a super power its a bloody difficult disability to live with that causes life long difficulties