Primary school asking parents to not change Nappies in the toilet

[Laushe]

My 5 year old is sen in a mainstream until he transitions to specialist in September. He's toilet trained at home but requires nappies at school/outdoors due to anxiety over using the toilet.
He goes into school 5 mins after gates close as he's an escape risk. This past week just as we've entered the gates he's done a poop, so I've taken him into the reception "accessible" toilet, changed him, bagged the waste and placed it into the bin. I obviously don't want to hand him over full of poop!
Just received this pedantic email (attached in comments) which will have gone to all parents. I'm quite annoyed as my their suggestion of staff escorting parents to another toilet. My son cannot access the main school and is in a segregated area with full time 1-1. Plus I'd have to faff around getting a sign in badge. Reception are aware he's sen and only has one week left before moving schools after summer.
I spoke to his 1-1 about it and we're convinced it's aimed at us and one other parent who's baby goes on the school run.

AIBU to feel like emailing them suggesting they place a nappy bin in the toilet, buy some air fresheners and maybe get a better sealed door if the smell travels the much?

There is nothing wrong with their email. Nappies shouldn't be disposed of in the sanitary bin. I would have bagged it and taken it home. I wouldn't bother replying you won't have to deal with them in a week.

Posters are being totally out of order comparing this to not having nappy bins at toddler groups. Changing an older child with disabilities is not like changing a little baby or toddler FFS. OP has to get her school avoidant child in and changed she has already explained that her child is at risk of running away if she took him to another toilet and her son would be punished by school for it (wtf). The accessible loo should have a bin, OP shouldn't have to carry a large bag of incontinence waste around with her with no child with her. I wonder what some of the posters here would do if put in the OP's shoes. The email was shameful, a discreet word to come up with a solution would have been more appropriate.

@Laushe - could you change your son in the accessible loo by reception, then deliver him to his class before going to the loo that has a nappy bin to dispose of the bagged nappy?

Can you change him and then take the nappy just you to the toilet with a nappy bin?

The email is not shaming - it is factual.

If the child is such a flight risk, then go in the toilet - change them - drop them at school - ask to use the second toilet with the nappy bin to dispose of the waste no carrying it out of the building and no risk of running away. No using an inappropriate bin.

Sanitary waste bins are not suitable for poo.

As for providing an additional bins, school budgets are super tight, if there are two suitable toilets for students to use, that parents can access it is more realistic to use those toilets. They are 'signposting' the facilities

I don't think the school's email was pedantic. I think it was fair enough. There's a heatwave on. Take it home or use one of the toilets offered.

Take the nappy with you and dump it in the first bin you find outside school as if it was dog mess. Or take it home.
Or, ask for the key for the special toilets.
You are def being unreasonable.

Talk to. Unless they truly don’t know. It’s gutless.

Are you serious? Feel this is so insanely entitled it could almost be a reverse.

School's letter is fine.

You can't put a nappy full of shit in a sanitary bin.

HTH.

No it's not. Some accessible toilets include changing facilities, some do not. This one does not. The alternatives she has been directed to obviously do.

They do. The email states “we have two toilets equipped with dedicated nappy bins”

this sounds extreme. Is he in the right setting?

In every school I've taught (including three special schools) the toilets in the lobby/reception area have been for staff and visitors, so did not have nappy bins. The other accessible toilets around the school were for the children, so did have them.
The school is unlikely to pay for a nappy bin in a toilet that is likely to be for adults.

OP it's very likely that the support/admin/reception staff would have had to have gone in the stinking hot loo, and emptied the sanitary bin that also contained human poo, themselves and bagged it all up. Sanitary bins have specialist companies that from my experience come round once in a blue moon to empty them. This job would have been putrid, anyone who has ever worked in hospitality and has have to deal with over flowing sanitary bins well tell you how vile this is.

Many of us commenting who do not have sen children who were long potty trained before school can not totally understand your difficulties and what it's like to change a 5 year olds nappy, and I feel for you, it must be hard, but dumping poo in a sanitary bin is completely unacceptable. Do as they ask for now by dispisig of the nappy in the bins provided (with or without your child) and maybe speak to the powers that be at the school about installing a proper nappy bin in that toilet.

the email was perfectly reasonably an polite.

And anyway how many days left do you have of this potentially cropping up?! 1?!

Of course, you can't put poo in a sanitary bin.

The options are:

• Take the soiled nappy home with you after changing him at school.
• Alternatively, change him when you arrive and dispose of the nappy in the appropriate bin at the school after you've dropped him off.

As many others have suggested, you take the nappy with you. Dispose of it elsewhere Problem solved.

Wow OP, you are in the wrong here.

Yeah I think it's more than reasonable of them to request that nappies go in the proper bin, sorry.

You could email them and suggest they either get an additional nappy bin or move one of the two they do have to reception, as it makes sense that it's going to be the younger kids who need a nappy bin rather than it being in a random place in the school.

Other than that carry on changing him there but take the nappy home with you. If you don't want it making a smell in your bag/car for 5 mins then surely you can understand why they don't want it making a smell for the whole class, teachers, parents and visitors for a whole day!

FFS. Why an earth didn’t you take it home with you. Or at least flush the poo first. Leaving a dirty nappy in the disabled loo when you know there are no facilities is grim. As someone with a close relative who uses the disabled loos this is particularly awful.

And schools can’t afford to pay for this, they are already stretched beyond belief. They are not a soft play!

Why didn’t you take the bag home with you for disposal? Or hand it over for disposal wherever his nappies during the day are disposed of?

I appreciate dealing with your SEN child is difficult but if you don’t want to alienate everyone around you you have to find a way of not forcing them to experience the unsavoury aspects.

My 3yr old is on autism pathway, no where near ready for toilet training and I don't even put his nappies in our kitchen bin, they go straight in our black bin bc they stink the bin out. I'd not want to be smelling that.
Take it with you & dispose of it at home.

You bag it, seal it and take it home. Awful to leave it there.

If the toilet is an accessible one, then imo they should provide a nappy bin. Otherwise it’s not as accessible as it could be. However, you shouldn’t put anything other than pads/tampons etc in the sanitary bins because that isn’t what they’re for.

No they shouldn't.

It's a school. They are obliged to make reasonable adjustments.

Your demand is unreasonable when you could take it with you or use another part of the school.

The fact he's 'escaped' is a separate issue not related to dumping nappies in the wrong place.

OP says he's starting a specialist school in September.