To go out on my husband's birthday

[Thatsnotmynamee]

I made arrangements with a friend to go to the cinema - there was a bit of back and forth about a date, but we settled on one. I double checked with my husband just now and his face just fell. He said 'don't you remember what that day is'. I felt irritated honestly, like just tell me what it is, why are we guessing...then the penny dropped, it's his birthday. I was planning on going out at 8pm. And a bit of me is like, well...why can't I? We have small children so wouldn't be going out ourselves. We're having his mum round for dinner, it would all be wrapped up before 8. So AIBU to feel like he's being a bit out?? We have fundamentally different ideas on birthdays I think 😬 Would you be pissed off in his shoes? (I have already bought some presents btw, it's not as though I had literally no idea. Am a muppet)

Reverse?

I agree with this.

Is his birthday not in the calendar? If there are no plans for his birthday and you're celebrating on the weekend instead then I don't see a problem, however forgetting the date of his birthday is awful

You really just don’t seem to give a shit about your husband.

This can’t be serious 🧐

We don't really "do" birthdays, but I wouldn't arrange to go out on his birthday and I would be disappointed if he went out on mine.

If his face fell, I think you have your answer.

Yep it’d be shitty

We have small children so wouldn't be going out ourselves. We're having his mum round for dinner, it would all be wrapped up before 8.

I'm guessing he doesn't organise much for your birthday or you don't do much on the day?

If yes, then I think it's fine.

If he organises a lot for your birthday then that's different.

I recently had to leave for a work trip that had already been a nightmare to arrange in the evening of DH’s birthday, he was fine with it. He travels for work too without much say in the dates. Social plans are somewhat different though.

The fact his face fell says it all. He wants you there and is disappointed you booked something w/o realising the date. Do you normally celebrate Birthdays together?

if a man went out with his mates on his DWs birthday, everyone on here would say how shit he was, that he only cares about himself, no regard for how she feels. Same rule applies here.

It's not a reverse guys, I really am just a piece of shit.

Poor guy!

It’s not even a once-in-a-lifetime evening out. It’s just a trip to the cinema. Go another evening…

It's easily fixed, though, right? Just tell your friend you got mixed up with dates and it's his birthday. Rearrange.

Surely this is a reverse?

No one can be that dumb to not see the issue here.

Do you like your husband?

I would not care if he did this. As long as we had done something together as a family first I honestly wouldn't. I'm making a cake for his birthday, I have bought gifts, I just weirdly didn't click that the day in question was his birthday when organising this cinema trip. I accept that I'm being very unreasonable.

Yup, you're a muppet OP. You actually forgot it was his birthday. That's hurtful.

Yes I would be pissed off.

you forgot his birthday

If mum is coming round can’t she babysit and you and dh go out for his birthday

You forgot his birthday, it's shitty and you know it. My birthday is near Christmas and my husband has already turned down his works Christmas party because it falls on my birthday, I even told him I wouldn't mind if he went, but he wouldn't entertain it.

Gawd I’m not sentimental normally but that is cold.

Is this another reverse?

It's a rotten thing to still consider going.

I don’t actually think going to the cinema with a friend is sooo awful if you had discussed it first (and done plenty of other things to celebrate), it’s the total none acknowledgment that it was his birthday. I don’t get how it just didn’t cross your mind when the date was suggested.

This.

Thanks all. Again, it's not a reverse and I'm clearly a cunt 👍