To go out on my husband's birthday

[Thatsnotmynamee]

I made arrangements with a friend to go to the cinema - there was a bit of back and forth about a date, but we settled on one. I double checked with my husband just now and his face just fell. He said 'don't you remember what that day is'. I felt irritated honestly, like just tell me what it is, why are we guessing...then the penny dropped, it's his birthday. I was planning on going out at 8pm. And a bit of me is like, well...why can't I? We have small children so wouldn't be going out ourselves. We're having his mum round for dinner, it would all be wrapped up before 8. So AIBU to feel like he's being a bit out?? We have fundamentally different ideas on birthdays I think 😬 Would you be pissed off in his shoes? (I have already bought some presents btw, it's not as though I had literally no idea. Am a muppet)

Yes I'd be pissed off. Just shows a lack of giving a shit really, both not remembering the date or caring enough to plan something with him. Why cant his mum babysit?

I wouldn’t go out on my DH’s birthday and wouldn’t like if he went out on mine. No matter how we celebrated earlier in the day.

I call reverse.

I would be fuming if I was him! That you hadn’t even registered it was his birthday and then that you are quite happy to go out anyway. Especially if it’s just a cinema trip that could be done any time. But then I think birthdays are something you should make a special effort for or at least spend the time together

That would be so mean I’d be heartbroken if my imaginary DH did that to me. Isn’t evening on his bday for sex?

This is the kind of crap my EX husband used to pull. Thankfully he became my EX before we had children.

YABU - it's just plain inconsiderate and I'm not surprised his 'face fell'.

Thats not ok. You forgot in the first place and now still want to go. The cinema will still be there another day.

Did you really not think of the date until you said it to him. I can't imagine not recalling an immediate family members birthday date.

Sorry, OP. My DH would not do this. This year I have been invited to a wedding evening do on mine and have asked DH and DD14 if it is okay if I can go as I felt bad. Surely the cinema can be rearranged. My DH wouldn't mind me going out on his birthday but I wouldn't.

YABVU. You’re being selfish and thoughtless.

I actually wouldn't mind myself if my DP said can I do something with friend on your birthday as it is the only date they can do and can we celebrate your birthday a different evening but I would be annoyed if he just forgot and booked something without checking with me

Asshole move.

Yeah that’s pretty shit tbh. The making plans and the forgetting the date.

Yabu and a very shit partner to do that to him.

I wouldn’t really care, but I’m not bothered about birthdays. I guess it depends if he is.

Dont do it, he's clearly going to be upset if you do go out without him

Don’t be a prick. No you can’t go.

I felt bad enough about having an evening job interview with a presentation a few years ago in my husbands birthday. I’d definitely not feel comfortable about going on an average cinema trip on his birthday, and yes it does does show lack of thought given you hadn’t already twigged that it was his birthday.

You seriously have to ask? No one's that clueless are they surely?

He should be so lucky 😃😃😃

Would you be pissed off in his shoes?

No but I'm not in his shoes so it's a pointless question.

And nor are you unless this is a boring reverse.

I would be raging, we love birthdays here. Cake, fizz, presents, dinner or lunch out. They are family occasions.

I’m very very surprised that you didn’t remember the date of your husband’s birthday. I‘m not surprised that he’s hurt. You should reschedule your friend.

Yabu

Its his birthday, he is clearly disappointed that you plan to go out and leave him in with the kids. Why can't you have a nice night in together after his mum goes?

Surely you and your friend can find a different day to go out to the cinema?