My mum has thrown away over £150 worth of makeup and medication

[nostyleandnoclothes]

I have a small pouch that I carry around with me everyday. It’s got a lot of medication in it (antihistamines, painkillers, stomach medicine), as well as 5 lip sticks and 4 lip liners. In total it comes to over £150 worth of stuff in a space NK small pounce (which is expensive in itself!).

I was at my mum’s on Thursday night when she complained about her having bad hay fever. I pulled out the pouch and handed it to her, and although I thought I’d put it back in my bag I must’ve left it on the side. I realised tonight it’s missing as I’ve gone through my bag ahead of work tomorrow and she’s admitted that she has thrown it away.

AIBU to say she should replace it? Both the makeup and medication she’s thrown away?

The value of everything sitting in plastic containers inside a fabric pouch and just letting it go to waste. I'm pretty attached to my cosmetics and have too many, but I'd still go through the bin if this happened. They are so expensive and lipsticks or lipstains last forever. Find a leftover mask from Covid, chuck it on and go digging. Yes it's rank but the sheer monetary value being wasted is crazy.
What if it's shades you can't easily replace? Retailers discontinue shades or formulas so often now.

You forgot it, she threw it. 6 and 2 3s really.
I'd get it back myself personally, and ensure I checked my belongings better on leaving the house.

Yes, it was disrespectful of her to throw your possessions away. I wonder if she did similar to you growing up - aside from the expensive items they've lost / replaced without a care - maybe that's why it's hitting a nerve more now, as it reminds you of other incidents that involved your personal items going missing without an apology.

Well you did accidentally leave it there. She accidentally threw it away.

Same really!

I’ve never done that. Certainly not an item like this.

Me, because I move this little pouch from bag to bag so it has day and night products in it, it’s amazing what it fits in! I’d just rather she at least dug through the bin and washed it

Just send her a list of what was in there to replace it all. It sounds like it wouldn't hurt them to rebuy it all for you if they're happy to write off stuff like apple watches and phones!

The pouch might have got a bit manky being in the bin for a couple of days but the contents should still be fine. Ask your mum to get it out, or if she won’t, surely it’s worth going round to look for it yourself rather than waste all that money?

Go round and tip the black bin out on their patio or drive, find the bag, then leave.

I’d go through the bin.

That's not normal behaviour. Nobody just scoops stuff up and throws it in the bin without knowing what it is or checking through it first. Make her go and get it back out of the bin anyway, it will teach her a lesson.

Well that is rather your loss then!

She sounds like she can afford to replace it. It’s all going to be melted and ruined now anyway, all you could save is the bag and wash it. I can see why you don’t fancy doing that, I wouldn’t want to either.

When my mum started doing things like this, it was the very beginning of dementia.

She didn't deliberately throw it away, she apparently swept it up with some other 'rubbish' that was lying around. It is odd for anyone to have so much rubbish just sitting on the side, but there we are.
If it meant so much to me, I would go through the bin. Put on an old shirt and long gardening gloves, get one of those 'grabbers' and fish things out one by one into a large bin liner. You'll be outside, it won't be that bad, and when you find you item you can just dump the bin liner into the bin. The pouch may have been messed up, but it may be fine, and the contents are hopefully untouched.

How did she know she had binned it though?

@nostyleandnoclothes so are you even going to ask/tell her to either get it out and check if anything is salvageable or to just transfer you the money, or just moan about it and about how wasteful they are in general? Plenty of pp have asked if you're going to ask her to replace the items or to give you the money for it but you haven’t replied to them at all and have just kept repeating the same thing in each reply, about how they are wasteful and careless and keep buying new things. They can clearly afford it so what’s stopped you from asking her? Why didn’t you just ask her for the money when she told you she threw it in the bin?

And the medication isn’t even worth including in the total as that can be replaced so cheaply (you do know that you can just buy double strength ibuprofen, don’t you? And as you said they’re only the same as two normal strength anyway). Paracetamol, generic ibuprofen and antihistamines you can get for about £1 each. And yes it’s annoying but dithering about it instead of just doing something about it isn’t going to resolve it. You could have already sorted it out with her.

Hey OP, your parents sounds bonkers and also loaded - I would never believe this is the first time this happened. Just get your mum to pay for the new stuff, like she always does!

But TBH you dont seem to be much different. I would be straight at that rubbish bag if it had my £150 worth of make up in it!

I'f she can afford it that easily d be sending her a bill or a shopping list.

It sounds as if the pouch was left amongst a collection of things set aside for throwing away. It's a bit strange but not impossible. At the moment I am collecting items for the charity shop on the chair by the front door. If any visitor left their favourite scarf there it would be a goner.

Some people do.

Yes, I’ve asked her to replace it. She thinks it was an accident so she doesn’t need to.

OMG I also have a little pouch that I swap from bag to bag....has my inhaler, anti hists, paracetamol, eye drops and my favourite lip balm...I would be gutted if that happened, I cannot understand why a grown up person wouldn't even go "hmmmm....should this go in the bin ? Since it's not even mine ?" I also get anxious if I leave it behind, as even if I don't need it I want my inhaler within reach at all times. I think it's massively disrespectful and mean OP.

Wow!

Well her options are to look in the bin or channel your dad and just replace “because it’s easier”

Is there a chance she has kept it for herself and just told you she has chucked it?