I think the answer is a resounding Yes but my gosh what an opportunity to vengefully shit stir ….

[JessicaFletchersJoggingNeckTowel]

Little context

I was helped enormously by the MN community who supported my getting all ducks in a row and eventually leaving abusive/coercive/cheating husband of 18 years.

You also helped me navigate the gruelling 6 year divorce that followed where he kept to ‘script’ and used all the usual tricks a narcissist usually throws at the mother of his children when she leaves and he ends up with no control .

So- we had to navigate cheating threats/occupation/protective orders/ hiding assets leaving me penniless with all the DC who are now 18+ . I have no contact with ex.

Since the start of the break up I moved away and started a completely new life- Ex shacked up with one of the side pieces (there were many) treating her DC better than his own and being very vocal all over SM for his own children to see -

So- one of my newer friends started online dating after her divorce and she matches with my ex - she messaged me straight away and we had a laugh about it and 🤮🤮 at his profile.

Recently after a few wines she asked -shall we see how far he takes it ?

I definitely encouraged it and now it’s escalated - he is asking for intimate photos /wants to meet up and she has shared the requests with me

AIBU to print them and send them into Miss Sidepiece?

OR do a jog on and grow up and pretend I wasn’t left penniless, shat on with a massive chip on my shoulder?

You need to move on from this loser. How does the new friend even know what he looks like? And why is her search radius so large? I'm not really buying the just stumbled upon him thing.

Oh ffs. Holy false equivalence, Batman!

But to run with it, for a laugh... even in the case of the worst violent crime there is rather than a serial shagger serially shagging... you get the police and justice system involved, not random vigilantes fucking around as they like dispensing what they deem as justice themselves.

Honestly, when you have to run with something like this to justify it, it really is a shit idea.

I would do it OP if there was no chance it could cause problems for your friend. If there was the slightest chance that she might get into a nasty row about it, I wouldn’t do it.

What he did to you is not a crime but he broke a vow, he gave you an STI when you trusted him to be faithful. Then he lied some more, emotionally abused you and left you penniless. And he damaged your children’s life chances by his actions.

It feels like there has been a gross injustice done, and you have never had an opportunity to get any justice more closure.

You “moved on” because you had no choice. But you didn’t heal because there was no justice - he did horrible things and got away with it, he even flaunted it publicly, and profited from it.

If this small action would bring you a small feeling of justice being served I think it might give you an opportunity to have some closure. To feel like finally you have taken back some measure of power in a relationship you could never resolve.

I don't think it'll be that satisfying, because surely you won't get to see the fallout anyway? At best you'll hear that they've split up and at worst they'll stay together and you won't hear anything about it at all, which will probably be more annoying than if you did nothing. It would be a lot more tempting if they were likely to have a blazing row right in front of you.

Mumsnet community doesn’t appear to have done a great job given you’re back here 6 years later apparently spending an inordinate amount of time still thinking about your ex @JessicaFletchersJoggingNeckTowel

It isn't false though is it? If you whistle blow and they are caught and found out that isn't being a vigilante. It's just making the information obvious to the person who regulates them. Who previously was oblivious.

But think what you like. I'm smug and happy in my new-found under cover vengefulness. Wish I'd found my revenge mojo many, many years earlier!

You would be unreasonable not to tell the woman concerned. Give her the option to leave him.

Get really really pissed. Send it. Get even more sloshed then you wont remember a thing!!

Nobody cares about your claim to smug happiness. Even if it were true (which it's not, vengeful people are never happy, despite what they say, and usually the act of vengeance, if it happened outside of their imagination, was totally tame and silly anyway), it would still be completely irrelevant. It's not about you.

Reporting a terrible crime to the police for investigation and process of justice isn't even remotely comparable to a setting up a silly entrapment operation on your ex from a million years ago who's grubbily but legally trying to shag around. I would say I can't believe I have to explain this, but there have been some absolute corkers on here lately and this isn't even the most ridiculous one, so actually, I can. Not going to waste any more time on it, though. Gordon Bennett.

I would not be able to resist. Fuck them both.

He’s still controlling you - he’s not worthy of your time. Tempting to do it - but don’t.

I’d feel embarrassed if 6 years post split I was still so bitterly focussed on my ex.