I think the answer is a resounding Yes but my gosh what an opportunity to vengefully shit stir ….

[JessicaFletchersJoggingNeckTowel]

Little context

I was helped enormously by the MN community who supported my getting all ducks in a row and eventually leaving abusive/coercive/cheating husband of 18 years.

You also helped me navigate the gruelling 6 year divorce that followed where he kept to ‘script’ and used all the usual tricks a narcissist usually throws at the mother of his children when she leaves and he ends up with no control .

So- we had to navigate cheating threats/occupation/protective orders/ hiding assets leaving me penniless with all the DC who are now 18+ . I have no contact with ex.

Since the start of the break up I moved away and started a completely new life- Ex shacked up with one of the side pieces (there were many) treating her DC better than his own and being very vocal all over SM for his own children to see -

So- one of my newer friends started online dating after her divorce and she matches with my ex - she messaged me straight away and we had a laugh about it and 🤮🤮 at his profile.

Recently after a few wines she asked -shall we see how far he takes it ?

I definitely encouraged it and now it’s escalated - he is asking for intimate photos /wants to meet up and she has shared the requests with me

AIBU to print them and send them into Miss Sidepiece?

OR do a jog on and grow up and pretend I wasn’t left penniless, shat on with a massive chip on my shoulder?

You’d be on the list… who else would send this?

Don’t do it. You’ve come too far.

If he has NPD he won’t care at all, infact he will relish the fact that he can still evoke feelings in you, even vengeful ones.

He won’t care about losing side piece , he’s clearly evidenced he plans on having more anyway.

Have friend arrange to meet him some place, invite Ms Sidepiece too. Send her the messages.

Any of the other side pieces.

I'd do it. People say revenge doesn't make you feel better. Well I did it once and it absolutely did! Different circumstances etc but I have zero regrets to this day. It gave me a bit of power back where I'd had none and that felt good. The person even knew it was me and I'm glad they did! Showed them they couldn't walk all over me with no consequences.

I'd be grateful that the sidepiece is keeping him away from you and your dc.

Well if he’s got loads, and still wanted to be with your friend, presumably he won’t care if he loses one.

Weird to give this so much headspace, tbh. Try and move on.

Do it do ittttttt!
Anonymously though.

Errrr I wasnt 😝

my friend’s experience with him kind of foisted it upon me.

Do it! Sometimes Karma needs a little helping hand.

The other side pieces I’m guessing his DDs are pretty much all OLD too as are their friends/friends mums

Wow this is evil genius !

Errrr I wasn’t 😆

Dooooooooooooo iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!

Lots of “er…. i wasn’t”
but fact remains… here you are more than 6 years post split “escalating” a tricky against your ex, spending time over it, starting a thread on it and planning on continuing it. I couldn’t give a fig what my ex is doing. Your behaviour doesn’t suggest you have fully moved on at all.

And in reality… this will likely be water off a duck’s back to the likes of him. And instead he’ll just use the experience for pub banter about the saga of his insane ex

I left him over 6 years ago

last huge court case was about year ago

I have indeed moved on it’s the reason I left my home and town and Ive been busy rebuilding with the DC and this has landed on my lap and it’s too good to just drop

I’m going to listen to PP who suggested going alomg with setting the meeting then send to current side piece who lives with him

its the least they both deserve then I don’t need to think about them again 😆

thanks all

Please come back and update how it all
goes! Screw being the bigger person. This twat sent you to hell and back. Why not get karma to bite him on the arse?!

I think you will know you are truly over him when you are given information like your friend gave you and you feel total apathy.

I understand how hard it is to get over someone like this but this I definitely encouraged it and now it’s escalated - he is asking for intimate photos /wants to meet up and she has shared the requests with me isn't healthy behaviour.
It'd be better to step away and think about something, anything, else.

I’d send them and bugger if he finds out it was me. Just to see his face 😆

I guess so 😊

I agree

I do understand the desire for revenge and other posters encouraging that

But if you are truly dealing with a narcissist that is the absolute worst thing you can do. And you MUST realise that any and all behaviour from you (and he will know it is you) is supply to a narcissist. They don’t differentiate between good and bad supply.

There is only one way to beat a narcissist. And that is No Contact. Whatsoever. Of any form. Directly or indirectly. Ever, ever , again.

Trust me on this

Over 5 years since my split, guess I am sad too when I think about him every single time I see the scars.

Is your friend OK with being part of the set up, bearing in mind she has no control over what might happen? Does he know of her connection with you?