I think the answer is a resounding Yes but my gosh what an opportunity to vengefully shit stir ….

[JessicaFletchersJoggingNeckTowel]

Little context

I was helped enormously by the MN community who supported my getting all ducks in a row and eventually leaving abusive/coercive/cheating husband of 18 years.

You also helped me navigate the gruelling 6 year divorce that followed where he kept to ‘script’ and used all the usual tricks a narcissist usually throws at the mother of his children when she leaves and he ends up with no control .

So- we had to navigate cheating threats/occupation/protective orders/ hiding assets leaving me penniless with all the DC who are now 18+ . I have no contact with ex.

Since the start of the break up I moved away and started a completely new life- Ex shacked up with one of the side pieces (there were many) treating her DC better than his own and being very vocal all over SM for his own children to see -

So- one of my newer friends started online dating after her divorce and she matches with my ex - she messaged me straight away and we had a laugh about it and 🤮🤮 at his profile.

Recently after a few wines she asked -shall we see how far he takes it ?

I definitely encouraged it and now it’s escalated - he is asking for intimate photos /wants to meet up and she has shared the requests with me

AIBU to print them and send them into Miss Sidepiece?

OR do a jog on and grow up and pretend I wasn’t left penniless, shat on with a massive chip on my shoulder?

I would and I wouldn't lose a wink of sleep over it.

If he’s still taking up your headspace after this long I really think you need some therapy. Do not do anything as you’ll just look obsessed.

Please don't do this OP- you say you have moved on but this move shouts out loud you have not.

Focus on your new life and DC- he is a speck in your rear view mirror.

Yes given most of my friends I had from my marriage or 30 years plus from school I regard her very much as a new friend as it was during restart and rebuild era

I have very few, lots of acquaintances and workmates but very few close new friends

So is that why you’re willing to put her at risk and entangle her further still in your obsession with your ex? Because she’s a new friend?

He won’t give a damn Op. As I say… it’ll just be a story down at the pub that his ex still obsessed with him

Ask your friends of 30 years whether they think all this focus and time and energy you are still dedicating to your ex from years ago is healthy.

I can almost guarantee that if they are good friends… they will say absolutely
do not do this insane idea @JessicaFletchersJoggingNeckTowel

If you can do it anonymously, absolutely! Why not?😆

Waste of time and energy that could be spent on pretty much anything else

She wasn’t until her friend matched with him. @JessicaFletchersJoggingNeckTowel I’d do it absolutely.

He won’t know it’s her though ??

Do it.

I played nice all my life until I turned 50. And then I was shat on a couple of times and it was like the worm had suddenly turned and I took quiet revenge. No one ever knew it was me that did it and because I was sensible with it, it was catastrophic on both occasions.

I'd do it. But I'd be canny with it. Don't post it from ANYWHERE near you. Have a day out in London (or the coast, if you live in London) and post it from there.

You can't rely on finding out the result of the catastrophic results. You COULD resort to social media stalking on a fake profile I suppose?

Only if you want him to think you are still invested in his life.

Plus if he was abusive, do either of you want to risk winding him up?

Interesting that he’s the ex yet the woman (one of many apparently) is referred to dismissively as the ‘side piece’.

You admit it’s her you want to hurt, which would suggest you have feelings for him still. If you didn’t care then you would just ce relieved he’s out of your life, surely?

Never poke a bear unless you’re not afraid to get eaten. Have a good chuckle but I would not pursue this any further.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS, do this too!

From the fake social media profile!

Whats the point if they don’t know it’s you though? If you want to get back at someone, at least own it.

I don’t really see what the win for you is here? Why not just ensure you have nothing to do with him.

Of course he will

It is the friend’s real profile that he’s interacting

OP - be aware that the posters sitting behind their keyboards encouraging this crap aren’t the ones who have to deal with any fallout.

I was helped enormously by the MN community who supported my getting all ducks in a row and eventually leaving abusive/coercive/cheating husband of 18 years.

and going by this thread, there’s still work to do

Oh my god absolutely do not get involved. You’re insisting you’re over it but you clearly still (understandably) have a lot of anger towards him. If you send to his current gf it will just come off like you’re bitter. Just don’t.

The point wasn't that they knew it was me. It was for my own private satisfaction and to make sure their actions had a fair result. They had shit on me enough times by acting badly and getting away with it. Finally, they didn't get away with it, thanks to my intervention.

He doesn’t know she’s the OP’s friend. She is a new friend. Post divorce and different area.

Is this an attempt to win mumsnet bingo?

I wouldn't entangle your friend in this, it's not her circus. I can see the temptation though.

This. He will reveal his true self to her eventually. The good news is you won't be involved, just a spectator