AIBU to wait until after a Barbados holiday to end it?

[Thewrathofsylviaplath]

I've been with my DP for 2 years (I'm 39 and he is 42), but things have been pretty dead for quite some time. No massive drama, but we have become more like flatmates and he is utterly terrible with money and spends it all the second he is paid. He is in thousands of pounds of credit card debt and seems to put a band aid over the problem by taking out balance transfer cards.

My dilemma is that he has booked us a 2 week holiday at a 5 star resort in Barbados this December. He impulsively booked it on his credit card- he was already 5k in debt on his card prior to booking the trip. I haven't been outside Europe since I was 21 and I really don't want to pass up on the opportunity. I could never hope to afford it on my own and I don't want to regret not going when I'm older. It sounds terrible, but should I hold out until after the holiday in December to break up with him?

so basically your assumption is he will pay for everything an then you dump him when you get back. Could you be any more shallow. If this was a reverse the he would be getting an absolute pasting. You should end it now and let him get any refund he get and cut his losses

Stay classy OP

Yeh don’t go . Seriously . Like how would you even enjoy it if you are there with someone you aren’t attracted to anymore. Regardless of how things are dead your post shows an awful lack of empathy towards another human being .

This is actually one of those Mumsnet posts that I hope journos find!

It may not have been your idea to book, but it WOULD be your idea to stay with him and happily see him go further into debt, fully knowing you're planning to break up with him.

I don't think I've seen or heard of a clearer example of being a user in a long time. Double that when your main complaint about him is that he's bad with money, puts things on credit card and is in debt...when you are quite happy to assist him to go further into debt.

Leave him now! He can either try to get some money back or at least go with a friend who will hopefully pay his share.

Vile behaviour on your part.

Do you have any redeeming qualities OP? I am struggling to see any

So you'll stay with him for five months to squeeze this holiday out of him and you're not even prepared to pay for your own food? What a freeloader.
Please dump him. He deserves so much better.

You know when posters come on here and describe crummy things that other women have done to them? You are that woman.

Life 101 is that you have to be able to look yourself in the mirror.

He needs to change his ways but nowhere near as much as you do.

How much a shag will it work out if you go?

You're disgusting if you think that's ok. Either go and pay all your expenses and try to work through it all with him and get him on the straight and narrow with money, or dump him now.

You do come across as a bit of a freeloader OP! You’re moaning about the amount of debt your DP is in and yet you’re prepared to accept him booking an expensive holiday that you’ve dreamed of for years………and getting himself even further into debt!
Take a long hard look at yourself! IMO, he will be well rid of you actually.

Start saving for your own holiday. Have some personal integrity.

I suppose morals aren't for everyone.

What a manipulative and nasty thing to do! He is in debt and you think it's right to allow him to be even more in debt to go on holiday with you when you are already planning to break up with him?

All this talk about men being abusive. In this instance, you are being emotionally abusive to even consider it.

It isn't until December. Once he knows how you feel about him he has plenty of time to change your name on the bookings to someone else. Someone who wants to go on that holiday with him because they like him rather than because it is a free holiday.

Have a bit of self respect and end the relationship, book your own holiday and move on. Unless you really do think having sex with someone for six months in order to get a free holiday is anything less than whoring.

I'm not convinced you're 39

So he's in debt but as long as you get a holiday before you dump him, it's ok. Do you hear yourself? If you want to be forever judged, crack on. Orrrrr...pay your own damn way to fund this dream.

Oh I am. There’s some sort of stunted emotional development going on with this particular demographic. It’s bizarre.
In five months he’s got the chance to meet the woman of his dreams and whisker away on a lovely holiday that they both deserve
If you don’t do that you end up with a string of exes that think and talk badly of you and that’s not a good thing when it comes to your new partner asking why you’ve got a scorched earth policy when it comes to relationships. And if the men don’t ask their mother sure as hell well when they meet you.

You acknowledge he has money issues but you’re happy to help him make those problems worse?
If you have decided the relationship
is not for you end it.
if you decide to stay and go you have 6 months to save some spending money.

Jeez. No, you shouldn’t stick around for a free holiday for someone to add even more debt, with all the food you’re going to add to that 5k. You should be contributing to it if you’re going, just because someone else booked doesn’t mean they should whack all your food & drink on their credit card too. I’d be ashamed to drag out a relationship for a free holiday.

One can only hope he sees this post and you for what you are.

Ohhhh wow.
So you’ll rinse him even further when you’re there? Please let this thread be the reality check you need.

Dump him and get a PT job and save some money. By December, if you aren’t wasting time on him, you could have saved enough to afford your own solo holiday.

If this is true you’re an awful person without a moral compass OP.

😂😂😂
Your first post was almost believable. I'm afraid this one takes it over the edge.
Good try though.