AIBU to wait until after a Barbados holiday to end it?

[Thewrathofsylviaplath]

I've been with my DP for 2 years (I'm 39 and he is 42), but things have been pretty dead for quite some time. No massive drama, but we have become more like flatmates and he is utterly terrible with money and spends it all the second he is paid. He is in thousands of pounds of credit card debt and seems to put a band aid over the problem by taking out balance transfer cards.

My dilemma is that he has booked us a 2 week holiday at a 5 star resort in Barbados this December. He impulsively booked it on his credit card- he was already 5k in debt on his card prior to booking the trip. I haven't been outside Europe since I was 21 and I really don't want to pass up on the opportunity. I could never hope to afford it on my own and I don't want to regret not going when I'm older. It sounds terrible, but should I hold out until after the holiday in December to break up with him?

Wow if this is real then he has dodged a bullet once you end it with him.

🤔

This can't be real. Surely no one is this callous, mercenary, selfish., self involved & lacking in self awareness.

Yeah, now you've over-egged the pudding. A real wind up thread develops over time. You've played your hand too early.

Agreed .

This. FGS

I agree with this. I voted YANBU because, well, it is better to be unhappy in Barbados ... but December's five months away, that's a long time to hang in there living a lie.

He may well be hoping a holiday will repair the relationship? Better to let him down now, while he can still cancel and get at least a partial refund.

Start saving up for a dream holiday of your own.

Op if you really have this problem….do you not think it’s unkind selfish and manipulative to continue a relationship for July August September October November and December only to go on a holiday to eat drink have sex swim sun be a couple together enjoying a holiday only to return and end the relationship?? Don’t be premeditated mean mercenary and cold. If it’s over for you end it now. Seriously shame

I don’t think it is a genuine gripe either, but just in case it is @Thewrathofsylviaplath Barbados isn’t all that wonderful these days.

Is this a joke?

This actually makes it worse. Not only are you willing to use him to get a free holiday, which you know he cannot afford, you're quite happy for him to pay for your meals as well when he's there?!
And you don't think you should pay "because you didn't book it"??
Jeez.

You wouldn’t even pay half for food and drinks?!

that’s awful

As shallow as a puddle.

I think Kanye West wrote a song about you, OP. 🤣

No. I wouldn’t even think about going, I would tell him to cancel the trip. It would be wrong to go with the intention of breaking up, the 5000 debt will be 10,000 by the end of the trip.
Break up with him now.

I’ll bite , you’re not planning on paying for anything?

So he is “good enough” for a holiday in 5 months time but not “good enough” to be your partner especially as he is a spendthrift and in debt

”good enough” for the holiday though as it was his idea and he paid for it and will pay for everything there as apart from being a bit a very nice person you are also exceedingly tight ….

I’m sure in real life you’re a very nice person but I can’t see in your post any integrity or any self respect.

Find some integrity and find some self respect and you will have your answer.

It tells you that in the very first post.

Oh dear

Only if you repay him your half of the costs. If not you're being a parasite

He's well shot of you

You criticize how he handles money, yet you are willing to take advantage of him just the same? Yikes. He might be bad at finances, but you have no moral compass.

Sicko 🤣

Nobody is that awful a person, surely 😆

It’s like Pretty Woman 2, with the plot twist that he’s broke!