AIBU to wait until after a Barbados holiday to end it?

[Thewrathofsylviaplath]

I've been with my DP for 2 years (I'm 39 and he is 42), but things have been pretty dead for quite some time. No massive drama, but we have become more like flatmates and he is utterly terrible with money and spends it all the second he is paid. He is in thousands of pounds of credit card debt and seems to put a band aid over the problem by taking out balance transfer cards.

My dilemma is that he has booked us a 2 week holiday at a 5 star resort in Barbados this December. He impulsively booked it on his credit card- he was already 5k in debt on his card prior to booking the trip. I haven't been outside Europe since I was 21 and I really don't want to pass up on the opportunity. I could never hope to afford it on my own and I don't want to regret not going when I'm older. It sounds terrible, but should I hold out until after the holiday in December to break up with him?

Read your post again. Slowly.

Entirely the wrong reason to wait (and to go).

Gross

It’s pretty hypocritical to complain he’s in debt and then benefit from him getting further in debt, regardless of whether you break up with him. If you’re unhappy you might as well be unhappy in Barbados I guess, but you’d probably be a better person if you tell him now and let him take someone who likes him.

Don't go on the holiday, it's not very nice to use someone like this.

Probably a rage bait post…

If you don’t want to be with him , do it now .
There’s never going to be a good time .
Also using him for a holiday is shitty behaviour OP .
You said he’s in debt as it is , so realistically he will spend a bomb in Barbados , then you come home , dump him, & it’s Christmas on top of it .
I personally would feel like a bitch if I did this to someone.

Sorry but you are suggesting staying with someone you don't want to be with so you can go on a holiday which will get him even more in debt? Then dump him after?

Who has paid for the holiday?

It says in the OP that he paid for it
on a credit card

Surely no-one is this shallow? @HopeSpringingHigh it says in the OP whose paid for the holiday.

yeah just go on the holiday. Treat it as a ‘make it or break it’ retreat

I know but i wondered if op then insisted on paying her half back to him ?

Im hoping so. It would be an incredibly horrible thing to do to him & how could you possibly stay with someone for another five months just to use them to go on holiday??? take a special kind of arse!

"I just don't think we're compatible. You're too happy to put things on a credit card....except Barbados, that was nice.... But anyway, I just don't think it's going to work..."

5 months. Can you imagine how you'd feel if your boyfriend split up with you then said they'd been planning it for 5 months but waited until your holiday was done?

Split with him now and give him the opportunity to cancel the holiday so he doesn't get further in debt. Staying with him until after is nasty on so many levels.

’You’re terrible with money but yes, I’ll come on a holiday you’ve booked on a credit card you can’t afford to pay back’. Tell him when you land why don’t you.

Let him take friend... you can't dump him for being bad with money after enjoying the 5k holiday he paid for that you know he can't afford! If you want to go give him the money and you take friend.

God no.
If he cancels the holiday now he’ll probably get some money back. If you go with him you’re complicit with him getting into debt, which would make you an awful person.

He’s paying it all? Or it’s on his card and you’re splitting the cost?

He has paid for the flights and the hotel now, so I was just thinking I may as well go as it has been paid for anyway. All he would have to pay for on top of that would be lunch, dinners and drinks (breakfast is included). I don't think I should cough up as it wasn't my idea to book it.

Emmm…. Ok no that would not be the right thing to do then.

You're sounding even worse than your first post .

You don't sound at all nice. Lucky escape for him I think.

There’s still time for him to develop financial management skills, but I suspect you’ll always be a cow, appalling behaviour.