FFS! Relative upset after children could not ride my competition horses

[DoubleClearYay]

Argh why do people have to be so frustrating!

I have horses and compete regularly. They are absolutely not safe for beginner riders or children. They are competition horses who would quite literally throw off a beginner who wouldn’t be able to ride them.

anyway, a distant relative asked to bring her kids along to see the horses as they are absolutely fascinated by ponies as loads of kids are. I totally get it, that was once me 20 years ago, but I made them aware that realistically they can’t ride them or sit on them. It’s not a pony ride sort of place and it’s a working competition yard. I said they can come and see them, pet them, give them a treat, brush them etc but realistically it’s not pony trekking. They said that’s fine, the kids just want to see them etc

so they came along and basically it was a complete disaster. The kids kept asking to ride and I explained why they couldn’t, but they were getting really upset and their mum kept insisting I let them just sit for a quick photo or just go for a quick walk. I had to explain that it’s for their kids safety- they absolutely would not be safe on the horses (first of all, there wasn’t even a hat for them). There was tears and arguments and their mum kept saying how ridiculous I was being and I had ruined their afternoon and kept insisting I let them just sit for a quick photo.

the next issue was treats, they had brought several huge bags of apples and wanted to give every single one. I explained how 1 would be enough each for now, and how I don’t want the horses to get a sore tummy etc etc but we could cut another apple up and leave it in their dinner later etc, again there was more drama about how I wouldn’t even let the kids give the horses an apple, and how I was being precious because people have fed horses bags of apples for years and it’s been fine. I literally said they could give an apple each, just not several bags!

later when I came home there was loads of messages sent to my parents about how I was precious, ruined the kids afternoon, made a drama out of sitting on the horse for a picture and how all they could do was pet or brush the horses (exactly the things I said in advance) and how annoyed they are and feel so let down that I wouldn’t let my own cousins sit on my horses for a photo

sorry, I know this is just a rant and im not really asking AIBU because from a safety POV I know I wasn’t being unreasonable, but ffs why do people have to be so difficult sometimes! Would I be unreasonable to message back and tell them where to go?! (Only half joking 😅)

To be honest , you sound really precious. I've had competition horses and its no problem for a kid to sit on. Just say no next time and stop banging on about how super professional your horse are

You just confirmed the pony was more of a liability, I know , had one myself. So why so much drama about your special horses

Virtually everyone with a horse or pony has experienced this. That along with random strangers thinking they are entitled to feed horses. That's why you keep seeing it. Not because it's made up but because there are a lot of entitled knobheads out there.

I know, Im being harsh. But could you not have just said , oh what a shame, its their bed time. Put horse back, shut stable door, tingly laugh. No joke, Edinburgh zoo did this with their giraffes. Sorry, its just too much angst over a situation you had control over. ....wait till menopause.

And there’s someone who doesn’t own a horse ……

Plenty of people act EXACTLY like that . I’ve had colleagues angling to ride my horses despite me pointing out that the two I am a Redwings’s guardian for , I am expressly forbidden to ride because of various health issues , not to mention that one of them ( who we call Moo because she’s black and white and an absolute cow) is actually unbroken to ride . I have pointed out that my unicorn horse who was a retirement present to myself and cost a startling amount of money ( well it shocked me , having not bought a horse properly for 20 years ) is known to have a fit of the vapours and has decked me more than once without warning, just because the sun has gone in, or a leaf has fallen off a tree half a mile away . But no . Still they ask . It’s bloody tedious.

People are so clueless when it comes to horses. Does she know that your horse is worth a 5 figure sum and she probably wouldn’t want to cough up the money if it got colic 🤬

This!

They are so stupid - horses are amazing but often dangerous animals if it’s the wrong rider. There is a reason that Pony Club have specified horse types, insurance ect. If one of their children was injured on your horse - they would be shouting about it

You put safety of their child first and considered the wellbeing of your horses.

you 100% did the right thing

They have old naggs for children. Horses are highly dangerous, a lively horse will try to run as soon as someone sits on them, they just want to go, a child stands very little chance of surviving if they can't hold the horse back. They will just go flat out gallop and it will try to jump or swerve round the first obstacle and the kid will be dead, put a child on a lively horse and try to hold the horse, it will just dance and run itself in a circle around you, the kid will be chucked off and trampled. Probably 1% of horses are suitable for kids.... old arthritic nags that can barely move.

I’d want my parents to reply ; the others at the yard were horrified at you wanting to put your children in danger, these are not child friendly horses and I know op told you that. Also you wanted her to let your kids feed them a bag of apples that would make them painfully ill? Child neglect and cruelty to animals, I thought you were better than that. You owe op an apology, and your children too. I will be telling everyone about this if I hear another word.

I consulted a lawyer once about a similar situation. Answer: if you KNEW it was dangerous and you allowed the children to ride the horses, yes you would be held responsible if one was injured.

You did everything right by warning them in advance that the horses could not be ridden by kids.

Your relative behaved like an idiot.

I would ignore them and carry on with your life.

They will have to take their kids to a riding school (and pay...) if they want them to do a pony ride.

You put your responsibility to your horses first, the only thing you could do. You made it clear that it would be dangerous for the children to sit on them. I don’t see what else you could do.

Depends on the horse though. Mines never been around children & gets spooked by giggling & shrieking etc.
I did let my neighbours kid sit on him once & he instantly starting tensing up & trying to do little rears (I had tight hold of him) the kid start squeeling which made it all worse.
I definitely wouldn't do it again!

He's a little 13.3hh new forest. My other horse is a 16hh quarter horse x TB & a fit competition horse & is okay around kids as she's used to them.

If the owner says no then no means no. Doesn't matter if other horses are okay with it

I really don’t understand why the mum thinks she and her kids know more than you. She should be reinforcing what you’re saying, not trying to change your mind, especially as you told her what to expect before they arrived. No way would I want random kids on my horses. When I had horses, I soon found out that one would not walk backwards using the correct commands and would rear up so if anyone asked for a ride while I was on her, I would use this technique to get her to rear up and say she was in a skittish mood and it wouldn’t be safe. Needless to say, the rearing up had 100% put them off anyway!

Why have people become so entitled. She knew the situation, she should have respected it. It was your relative who ruined the afternoon, it sounds like you were very accommodating.

Why have people become so entitled.
Social media promoting a look at meeeeeeee culture and covid lockdowns breaking down social rules and niceties.

UNBU. I have 30 years riding experience and I don't want to sit on a competition horse.....I acknowledge I'm just not good enough and I just don't enjoy sharp horses.
My own fat cob is a complete pudding, he loves people especially small people and is non plussed by the trampoline next to his field full of screaming children....he just stands to there and 'joins in' with his head over the gate. However I still have £30 million PL insurance and I don't let novices sit on him. Mainly because shit can happen with horses and Id rather not go through a court case....
I offer horse poo to my neighbours, only rule tell me when you are collecting. One neighbour entered field without telling me and was very alarmed when fat cob came bouncing over like 600kg Tigger to say hello and offer his assistance......

I had an occurrence of this 20 odd years ago, I had a lovely New Forest 14.2 gelding who I kept on livery at a riding school and he was used in a few lessons a week when I couldn’t ride. My manager brought her kids down to see him one day as they both had had lessons previously and stupidly I didn’t say no - it was awful, my pony took the absolute mick with the daughter who I let off the lead rein and hared round the school akin to the wall of death and I had just froze not knowing what to do or say. Thankfully, he slowed down after some hauling on the reins and I grabbed him but it was awful and I was mortified. Taught me a much needed lesson and I never did it again and it also taught me how hard it is to teach people to ride too.
Much more recently, Mollie-Mae (for her tv series) was being filmed riding and wanted to ride my friends eventer as he is a stunning horse, she was completely out-horsed and was dumped very quickly in the corner of the school.

My own loan horse, ex competition, now retired, I'll sit kids on him for photos or a gentle walk around. He is enormous so tends to attract attention. But he is very chill and happy to plod round with a child. The younger competing horses? No fucking chance. They have no chill!

Someone asked me once when I was cuddling one of them, Oh why don't you ride Misty? Wouldn't you like to ride her?

Er, no! I want to live!

You know your own horses. If they're not safe, that's that.

Fat Cob sounds adorable 😊

😂😂 Never trust a Forester. Mines under 14hh & looks really sweet. Love's bring cuddled & fussed but I definitely cannot let a child lead let alone sit on him.

Don't forget Shitlands!

Shitlands the smaller the better are saved for your least favourite child!

My son had a new forest. Lovely chap until you wanted to load him on his own or put a novice rider on him. First met with hi m bogging off and refusing to be caught even in a confined area. Second, he'd bog off in the direction of food. But have a horse already on the trailer and he'd walk on by himself.

I dont think you are being unreasonable at all. You made the mother aware before they came. It would be a different story if one of them fell Moffat and severely injured themselves. You let them pet the horses, groom and feed them . What more did the mother expect. They are horses, not play things