FFS! Relative upset after children could not ride my competition horses

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Argh why do people have to be so frustrating!

I have horses and compete regularly. They are absolutely not safe for beginner riders or children. They are competition horses who would quite literally throw off a beginner who wouldn’t be able to ride them.

anyway, a distant relative asked to bring her kids along to see the horses as they are absolutely fascinated by ponies as loads of kids are. I totally get it, that was once me 20 years ago, but I made them aware that realistically they can’t ride them or sit on them. It’s not a pony ride sort of place and it’s a working competition yard. I said they can come and see them, pet them, give them a treat, brush them etc but realistically it’s not pony trekking. They said that’s fine, the kids just want to see them etc

so they came along and basically it was a complete disaster. The kids kept asking to ride and I explained why they couldn’t, but they were getting really upset and their mum kept insisting I let them just sit for a quick photo or just go for a quick walk. I had to explain that it’s for their kids safety- they absolutely would not be safe on the horses (first of all, there wasn’t even a hat for them). There was tears and arguments and their mum kept saying how ridiculous I was being and I had ruined their afternoon and kept insisting I let them just sit for a quick photo.

the next issue was treats, they had brought several huge bags of apples and wanted to give every single one. I explained how 1 would be enough each for now, and how I don’t want the horses to get a sore tummy etc etc but we could cut another apple up and leave it in their dinner later etc, again there was more drama about how I wouldn’t even let the kids give the horses an apple, and how I was being precious because people have fed horses bags of apples for years and it’s been fine. I literally said they could give an apple each, just not several bags!

later when I came home there was loads of messages sent to my parents about how I was precious, ruined the kids afternoon, made a drama out of sitting on the horse for a picture and how all they could do was pet or brush the horses (exactly the things I said in advance) and how annoyed they are and feel so let down that I wouldn’t let my own cousins sit on my horses for a photo

sorry, I know this is just a rant and im not really asking AIBU because from a safety POV I know I wasn’t being unreasonable, but ffs why do people have to be so difficult sometimes! Would I be unreasonable to message back and tell them where to go?! (Only half joking 😅)

Wow my daughter rides and we would never ask to ride someone’s own horse unless they offered. She a confident ride and uses school horses at a centre but recently they’ve got new horses and it hasn’t gone down well with her and some of the class riding them and these are supposed to be good horses for schools.

As for the feeding, I see so many issues on our local equine pages about sick horses because people walk past the fields where they are turned out and feel like they can just feed them despite there being signs up. So many horses and ponies are on strict or specific diets as well.

Well I think you were absolutely right to stand your ground! She clearly doesn’t value her kids welfare if she is prepared to let them sit in a horse against advice! I have to admit, part of me wishes she had ignored you and put her kid on the horse anyway and something happen! You could then say “I told you so” whilst she waits for the ambulance! Obviously I don’t actually mean any child harm but it would have been karma! Be proud for standing your ground and protecting her children when she is clearly the precious one

I don't understand the volume of posts on here from horse owners who have to constantly gatekeep their animals from people who think they know better. It's astonishing the sheer cheek of people.

I know very little about horses beyond that they can get nasty gut issues, so not to feed them unless under the direction of the owner. But you can tell just by looking at them, that any accident involving one can be significant, particularly involving bigger horses. They are living beings with their own traits, likes and dislikes. Why would anyone presume to know better than the owner what the horse will and will not tolerate?

I don't know if it's just a quirk in the algorithms showing me a disproportionate amount of horse posts, but this extreme level of CFuckery seems to be pretty exclusive to horses. What is wrong with people?

I would have been exactly the same with our horses, an older first pony and a (tank of a) 😅 cob, certainly not competition horses.

Stupid woman causing a scene!

So entitled. You were clear about what to expect. They should be squirming with embarrassment about their behaviour. I'm sure they are not though.

I know nothing about horses except that they are big and falling off them can be very dangerous. How can the mum expect her children to ride without the proper clothes or safety hat? And if there was an accident of any kind who would get the blame?

I would not hesitate to send a sharp message back. Maybe do a bit of a rant then run it through an AI and tell it to make it acceptable and professional. Afterwards block the texts.

I used to ride for years before i moved to London. I wouldn’t ask to sit on a competition horse (apart from the fact it’s bloody cheeky) because I value my bones being intact.

A highly trained horse like that is going to know immediately that there is something odd/wrong with the rider just by the way you sit.

Zara - is that you??
Do the kids names start with A& L.??
I don’t blame you one bit.
It’s like saying to someone who has never driven anything other than a dodgem “Well can they just have a little drive of your ferrari”!!

Horses know if someone who sits on them knows what they are doing.
I would never let a novice sit on an ex racer/frisky horse because it only takes a second never mind horses that currently compete. And without hats?? MADNESS.

There are still donkey rides on the beaches at Blackpool and St Anne’s. Plenty of petting farms and even riding schools too! OP should just not let them visit again. If there’d been an accident and a kid had come off, she could have been held liable! Without a hat too!

OP, you know you are not being unreasonable.

Although obviously you are a massive killjoy for not letting random kids, who know nothing about horses, to sit on and ride massive temperamental animals (without appropriate safety gear) which could actually end in serious injury or death. All your fault for saying no, because otherwise they would not be upset.

What is wrong with people?! I only foster cats and kittens but explaining that bringing your kids around to pet and fuss living, unpredictable and often scared living things is not the great idea some parents think it is gets frustrating. Particularly as it is not actually a nice experience for the living animal I am trying to tame and feel hopefully feel less scared.

Used to drive me wild having horses on a yard by a main road. People chucking carrots at their heads, literally. A youngster getting caught in the melée of older horses competing to get to the fence and the food. I’ve had to run over to stop people, who then threw the plastic bag into the field. I was ecstatic to move to an enclosed yard. One woman told me it saved the owners having to feed their horses! Quite mad. I compared it to coming to hers and feeding her dogs endless sausages over the garden wall ‘But it’s not the same!’ she wailed. How is it not?

There was a tragic post on the horse group last year about some idiot who thought they were doing a favour tipping just cut grass into a horse field. You can imagine the outcome.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before about being on a competition yard, mostly showjumpers/ KWPNs. The babysitter/au pair came onto the yard and asked if her charge, a boy of about 7, could ‘have a ride’’ . She received a resounding no, but whinged that the child was bored! Bonkers.

You could remind her of people like Christopher Reeve, Melanie Reid, Liz Halliday, (in the past) Cole Porter and many others who have suffered permanent disabilities- in some cases death- in riding accidents, And these were experienced riders, and were adults who could calculate risks and choose to take them. Hpw would she feel if her irresponsibility caused such a disaster to one of her children? Not to mention the potential dangers to the horses!

Would she allow a toddler to run into the road if they felt like it? This is no better!

Nah I mean like, word for word. Not the same issue 🙄but OP says not so I will presume it is just my exhausted brain getting it wrong.

@Sinescure sadly it's a very familiar scenario to anyone who has horses.

You are absolutely right not letting young children ride your horses. I have tried for a while to learn to ride, on a farm where they had competition horses - mainly for jumpings. My parents were too cheap to pay for a manege. Those horses were beautifull but rather nervous and jittery (if that's how you explain). The owners let me ride bareback and without a hat. I loved it but quit after one of the horses threw me. Could've been worse : the son of the house was thrown and had to be recovered from a field by a helicopter.

I thought I read this same (or almost the same) post a few months ago(?).

I think this is a problem with modern parenting.It seems like instead of explaining to the children before they went what would be allowed they tried to let their children get their own way by being persistent.I agree that you did the right thing and you can explain to your parents that you had explained in advance.
I'm sure if the animals got unwell from them giving too much apples it would be your problem and they would run a mile before paying the vet bill!

I work at a school, we have horses up to 18.2. The most likely one to yeet you to Jesus? 12hh. 🤣

Well, your parents can just mute or block her on their phones (if they haven't done so already).
As for the relative herself, fuck her. You were totally clear about how the visit was going to go and why. And even if they were not competition horses and were theoretically suitable for kids to sit on, they're your horses and basic manners dictate to people who aren't twats anyway that she and her kids abide by what you said.

Do they have no idea how expensive horses and vets bills are?

Ask if they have a spare £10k for colic surgery and/or cost of a competition horse which is anything from 5 to 6 figures.

All some parents care about are their children’s wants and desires.The parents can not accept the word No never mind the kids.I feel a bit sorry for kids raised by people like this because life teaches them a very harsh lesson.

When I take my horses to the beach quite often children see them being unloaded in the car park or see them on the beach and tell their parents ‘look at the horses’ I always ride over and ask if they’d like to stroke them.
lol never once has one said can I sit on them.
The kids are usually just thrilled to touch them and stroke them.

Your relative is a cheeky cow

You are absolutely right to be furious. Non horsey sometimes have no idea how to behave around horses. They’d be the first ones to kick off is their little darlings got injured

Tell her she's banned from the yard on safety grounds.

Some people have this ridiculous cartoonish idea of what horses are like.

Those children are lucky you were there to protect them from their idiot mother. What an ass she is! Clearly thought she was going to score some free "pony rides!"

I do not think there's any point trying to tell her where she went wrong because everything you tried to tell her clearly fell on deaf ears.

Block that biatch! It will be no loss!

Total CFs and they can get to hell! When I first met DH, he couldn’t understand why his friends couldn’t come and ride my 2. So I (patiently 🤣🤣) explained it would be like teaching someone to drive a Ferrari, and an unbalanced person would upset them and likely cause them to do something which meant friends would be pinged off. Luckily that was it but I get very fed up if people assuming my horses are fair game. Long winded way of saying just tell them to piss off and don’t bother with them again.