What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?

[Magpiesinthegarden]

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

I think he should use it all the fucking time. He should have a group "Saying what everyone else is thinking" I havent belly laughed in ages but that did it!

Well my partner died in 2021 so maybe not that charmed……

Did you get her back? Some fucking low lifes will do anything to just get the "win"

After 4 years together, he was still undecided about buying a place together (we did live together at his but I still had my own place because he didn't want to have anything financial together though he was very happy for me to pay bills at his) and after endless discussions I moved out for a couple of weeks to show him I wasn't putting up with his dilly-dallying anymore.

He did come round, promised the earth, everything I had ever asked for and more but when I moved back in I found some weird stuff - my clothes were in a different order in the wardrobe, some clothes and objects were missing, lots of toiletries in my bathroom were gone. He had, in the space of 15 days, moved a strange woman from a dating app into the house and she had been wearing my clothes, using my toiletries and had clearly bundled a load of my stuff into one of my suitcases and taken the lot with her when he kicked her out because I was moving back! It took several weeks of Poirot-ing to figure this out.

The wankiest thing though was that I made him show me his dating profile he had used to get this woman and it had been made about 20 hours after I asked for space to think. He had, in that time, booked a professional photographer and stylist for his dating profile shots and taken time off work to get the shoot done. This man who previously had not been able to get out of work even 30 minutes early to meet his visiting mum at the station (I had to) or organise a piss up in a brewery had been able to move heaven and earth to secure another maid/free sex worker in under 24 hours.

Wankathon.

My ex uses a photo of himself taken for use as a prop in a film I Made as his whatsapp profile picture. Years later. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Went on holiday with new partner and her kids. He told me he wasnt well enough to pick up DS. He then posted pics online (?) and a friend of his asked him why my DS wasn't on pics, had he taken them all? He made up tale that I'd refused permission for DS to go. Same friend then contacted me to verify (she didnt believe it for a minute) so when ex turned up following week and I remarked he was tanned AF he tried telling me he'd been on a sunbed while on sick leave!

Why on earth did he do this?

This is a great thread 😆
Described a detailed plan to become a porn star, while we were meant to be in a relationship, and despite having 4 inches.
Papered his room with topless photos of page 3 types (he was pushing 30 at this point).
Had an absolute hysteric fit at his parents house due to being served a vegetarian meal 😆 I ate quickly as he was so angry I thought he'd turn the table over!
Screaming match with a relative over who'd eaten a packet of reduced muffins which somehow culminated in them both crying that they'd never get married 🤣
Made me split the cost of a soft drink!
Wankathon 🤣

Not that lighthearted - but probably get engaged months after we split up, then quickly got married and had another kid. Then 4 years later killed himself, which I know is very sad, particularly for his kids, but knowing him like I knew him, it would have been likely to be the result of a tiff with his wife, suicide was something he often threatened and had attempted before, and he had a massive victim/God complex. So considering the 4 kids he left behind I’m considering it a pretty wanky move on his part.

I wish you could have got the cat back from the shelter

Please tell me you were not saying Trunp 😆🤣

i used to have a friend who had a similar thing happen, except she was his GF and they didnt live together. She was freaked out by him so texted that she was done with his controlling behaviour and said he would kill himself and if he died it would be her fault. Usually his sister would call by his first thing, except she was ill so didnt. He left a voicemail with (ex) friend who had blocked him so didnt get it. He took an amount of paracetamol that would usually cause liver damage but not kill. He left his front door open so he could be found. Except he wasnt and because he had done this before (it was in his inquest) it was the final straw for his liver and he died. Oh dear. What a shame. Never mind.

She stopped speaking to me because I deleted FB which obviously meant I hated her, drama all round!

I can't compete with 90% of these. Some absolutely unbelievable bell ends out there! What a minefield. Theres no wonder I've given up.

@ThePlantPotter 😂😂😂😭

Pranged my car into a lamppost whilst reversing and absolutely denied he caused the dent, and that it must've been me, until my four year old piped up in the car one day that this was where daddy had had an accident with the car. 😂😂😂

When I was a kid my parents car broke down near a local v posh (top three) public school two villages over. Every SINGLE time we drove past my sister and I would say "Oh this is where we broke down!" and I learned later it drove them mad because whatever it was cost them a sodding fortune! Even now I think "Oh this is where we broke down!" when I drive past! Although in fairness I also think that whenever I drive past the spot where my car broke down about 7 years ago and cost me over £2k to fix!

My ex did something very similar. Through our whole relationship he made it clear he couldn’t stand a certain fandom, let’s say Harry Potter, which I loved and he described as “shit” (far too uncool for him).

I read the books to the kids, which they loved, he refused to take part. Watched the movies with the kids, he scrolled on his phone. I’d always wanted to take them to Harry Potter World but due to him being financially controlling, couldn’t.

So literally the first weekend he had the kids after we broke up, where do you suppose he took them? That’s right. They got given some free souvenir mugs during the trip and a couple of weeks later he threw them away against the kids’ protests because they were too ugly for his house, apparently.

I'm a huge Bruce Springsteen fan. My ex put up pictures of him and his new girlfriend on Instagram with Thunder Road as the music.
He probably didn't realise that he was telling her that she ain't a beauty but, hey, that's alright. He did a lot worse in his time but that amused me.

How on earth did he think he was entitled to that after 15 years!!! I’m not even sure he would be entitled to it if they were still married

Claimed he wasn’t having an affair but then Google Maps photographed his car outside her house.

Horrific. What an evil-sounding man.

My mum's uncle was widowed quite young, and left with three young daughters. He got married again, the new wife didn't want anything to do with the children (so he was clearly marrying for, erm, 'home comforts') and he was planning to dump them in a children's home! My great granny intervened, took them in and raised them herself, despite being nearly 60 and having raised 11 kids of her own. Selfish, feckless bastard.

Pronounced genre ‘Jen-ear’

we were at home so I corrected it so he didn’t look a twat talking about music genres in public.

He swore blind he was the right because no one had corrected him when he’d said it before. The decided to try to tear me down and call me dumb.

unfortunately we have a child together. His name will forever be ‘Jen Ear’ in my phone.

Love a withering nickname! My friend dubbed my ex “Donald Duck” because I told her he liked to sleep in a t-shirt but no pants, even after I’d ended the relationship and he was refusing to move out.

Fuck me! I think I know him.
Did he become a drama studies professor at Glasgow University? Or are there two cockwombles out there?

Omg what a turn off! T-shirt and no pants is worse than just socks on 🤮