What is the wankiest thing you’ve seen your ex do?

[Magpiesinthegarden]

That made you think - what a knob! And that you are well rid of them!

lighthearted thread -

I’ll go first -

Recently my ex changed his profile picture to this wanky AI generated image of him in the middle with a halo and two angels either side… he actually gave himself a halo 🤣 What a knobhead! Like he was Jesus 😳(He was a massive narcissist. My ex. Not Jesus)

What are the wankiest things your ex has ever done?

😂😂 Oh God my ex would love to do that now seeing as he's 'found religion'. He's worse than ever now.

This isn't the wankiest but the first thing that came to mind, on a couple of occasions he's posted birthday messages to the kids talking about how he 'birthed them himself' and they were his greatest achievement as if they don't have a mother who has them 24/7. I actually had some of his mates tell me about those and how much of a knob he came across.

Some of these are truly horrendous but some are just so entertaining batshit crazy

I almost wish I'd had an utterly unhinged ex now, almost.

Jesus. How long had you been together with this cretin?

Mine did this… but saved me as ‘evil fucking slag’ - only found out because my then 5 yo asked me what it meant!

edit to add- no I wasn’t!… I think he just couldn’t understand why I’d want to leave him and then has spent 15 years showing everyone else exactly why I did with his absolute knobish behaviour!

In my early twenties had a boyfriend that I decided I no longer wanted to be with . No drama and I thought I was quite nice and gently let him know . He was upset but I figured he'd be OK as it wasn't a long relationship.
He came into my work and handed me an invoice for all he bought me and said I should pay him . It included trips to cinema twice , meal out once , a 45rpm single ( Wired for Sound by Cliff Richard ) cards and teddy bear he got me for Valentine's Day .

I had one jump out of bed in the early hours and measure how much mattress he had 🤦‍♀️

Mine didn't tell our daughter he was getting married and changed his whatsapp pic to a wedding photo of him, his new wife, their baby and his step daughter. They live in a different country, was always going be challenging for her to go. They still haven't said they're married, been 6 months and they've visited twice!

That's awful.

I did this with a picture of a groundhog for an ex, to remind myself of groundhog day (obviously).
But not my kids dad and they never would have seen my phone.

Asked me if I wanted an affair behind our partners backs, that was the easiest ‘no’ ever. He then got married a year to the day that I did.

13 years , 3 kids and one on the way when he decided he didn't love me any more 🫣 he neglected to tell me he loved someone else until a week later when texted me messages clearly meant for her 🙄,16 years on me and the woman he left me for have both moved on whilst he posts victim posts on SM whilst having nothing to do with his grown children . His loss .

It was horrible for the kids as it literally came up on the infotainment screen in the car. One of my kids took a picture of it and showed me.

Broke up during covid. He went to Dubai where there wasn't really a lockdown and would occasionally send the kids messages about the cool things he was seeing and doing, whilst they were stuck at home doing virtual school and really struggling.

Then he wondered why they weren't enthusiastic to speak to him.

Oh, and completely changed his dress style to favour skinny jeans.. it was not flattering.

Ex deliberately avoided paying child maintenance for 14 years, his new wife left him and suddenly he decided to make contact after leaving the country. DD was bombarded with messages that he had always wanted to know her, loved her more than life itself and I was evil and had thwarted him, telling her I had mental issues and worse. 2 years on and he is still messaging her nasty things about me which she rolls her eyes at and shows me and we have a good laugh about. The latest is his sudden burning desire to help with her "schooling" just as she is finishing and he appears to suddenly know about every subject she is predicted A's in. Doubtless he will try to take credit despite having met her 4 times in her adult life and she has blocked him on all devices because he is a fruit loop

So my ex is/was a friend of my husband. Sort of. We were all in a ‘group’, and worked together in our early 20s. We didn’t have a particularly nasty split, mainly because it wasn’t a serious relationship.

Anyway, my husband and I got pregnant off a friends with benefit type situation. When our first son was born, my ex wrote a poem to our new son with the premise being about making sure you keep hold of the woman that you love and don’t take her for granted because she will move on and you’ll forever regret it.

Oh yes - the ex whose thought his compulsive honesty had held him back in his career also married another woman, in a different country, while he was still married to me!

Wankiest 🤣🤣🤣🤣 love it!

What a rat..

This is so cringe it's magical!!

This guy was another of those man child types. Still lived at home and his mum did his washing…

Anyway I’m pretty introverted and he told me ‘all that will have to change’ when he becomes a famous musician.

Last heard he’s still stacking shelves at Asda…

There are so many failed music dreams out there

And a bizarre ownership of light bulbs seemingly

What I like most about the as yet undiscovered musicians (I haven't dated one but knew one before they moved) is their absolute conviction that they should be treated as musical royalty before this is confirmed by, well anything else.

Beautiful

That’s so weird.

Ohhhhhh I forgot the best one - he only takes his bits on the side out of town for dates, etc. because he cannot go into our town centre because people recognise him and want to talk to him as he's an ex-pro footballer.... aka he played about six times for our small-town team back in the 1990s when they were in the old Division 3. Deluded!

👏 👏 👏
don’t have my own story to tell but just wanted to thank @Magpiesinthegarden for an inspired OP and thank everyone for sharing / congratulate on surviving!

Omg I just remembered another one. Family BBQ - everyone outside, grandparents, aunts, uncles. A wasp lands on the rim of a can of coke (que flinching from me) he says proudly to my family ‘I can sort it don’t worry they call me the wasp whisperer as home’ grabs the wasp, gets stung and proceeds to spend 30 minutes inside with his hand under the tap