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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I think my DH is jealous of my Adult children (that aren’t his)

43 replies

Blondiebeachbabe · Today 20:45

Me and my DH get on pretty well most of the time. But I think he’s jealous of my relationship with my adult kids! I hardly see them too. One is 40 miles away and the other lives in Australia.

Two months ago, we hired a van and moved my son into a new apartment. My husband was the only person who could drive the van. He had a long face the whole day and made us feel very indebted to him for driving. Why can’t he do it with a good heart?

My daughter is back from Australia right now, only for four days for a wedding, and we are meeting for breakfast on Monday. I offered to drive them to the airport after breakfast, as it is en route to our way home. The only way that we could do this is to take 2 Cars. Well, my husband has hit the roof! Telling me that I’m a joke and unreasonable . I don’t even really know why he is angry.

I’m just so exhausted with the competition. We don’t have sex anymore (his decision). It’s so sad because I am in love with him, but this is such a turn off that part of me just wants him to leave. He has stormed off to bed and I’m feeling so lost.

OP posts:
Lovelynames123 · Today 20:46

He sounds like a petulant teenager rather than a grown man!

Childanddogmama · Today 20:47

I'm not sure how being with this man enhances your life?

Sundaynightterrors · Today 20:48

I think a number of men are jealous of the attention given to both young and older children.

Blondiebeachbabe · Today 20:49

Lovelynames123 · Today 20:46

He sounds like a petulant teenager rather than a grown man!

I know! His own mother was never kind to him so I don’t know if he’s jealous or something, but it feels ridiculous. He was right in my face calling me a stupid cunt too. This is because I drive a small car that isn’t great on the motorway, but I would just drive at 60mph, who cares?

OP posts:
CantMakerHerThink · Today 20:49

Get rid of him, he sounds awful and NOBODY would be trying to ruin my relationship with my kids even as adults. No chance. And I can’t abide a sulky whining arsehole man. My DH isn’t the dad to my eldest 2 but he bends over backwards to help them because they are incredibly important to me.

Sunisgettinganewhaton · Today 20:50

My exh was very envious and resentful of my relationships with my dc..
Exh..
If my current dh ever called me a cunt he too would be an exh...

Blondiebeachbabe · Today 20:51

CantMakerHerThink · Today 20:49

Get rid of him, he sounds awful and NOBODY would be trying to ruin my relationship with my kids even as adults. No chance. And I can’t abide a sulky whining arsehole man. My DH isn’t the dad to my eldest 2 but he bends over backwards to help them because they are incredibly important to me.

That’s lovely to hear. My DH will do what’s expected of him but in a sulk, which cancels out whatever goodness he’s done.

OP posts:
Sunisgettinganewhaton · Today 20:51

Could you actually be in love with the man you wish he was rather than the man he actually is op?

AnneLovesGilbert · Today 20:52

He was right in my face calling me a stupid cunt too

What the fuck. Has he done that before? Is there a reason you’re tolerating this beyond thinking you’re in love with him? He absolutely does not love you to behave this way towards you, it’s revolting. Please LTB.

Blondiebeachbabe · Today 20:53

Sunisgettinganewhaton · Today 20:51

Could you actually be in love with the man you wish he was rather than the man he actually is op?

I think this is painfully accurate ❤️

OP posts:
RosemaryRusset · Today 20:53

AnneLovesGilbert · Today 20:52

He was right in my face calling me a stupid cunt too

What the fuck. Has he done that before? Is there a reason you’re tolerating this beyond thinking you’re in love with him? He absolutely does not love you to behave this way towards you, it’s revolting. Please LTB.

This! He sounds awful.

BigElderflower · Today 20:54

I voted YABU because of all of it, but mainly this:

I’m just so exhausted with the competition. We don’t have sex anymore (his decision). It’s so sad because I am in love with him, but this is such a turn off that part of me just wants him to leave. He has stormed off to bed and I’m feeling so lost.

What the hell are you going, girl?! Get out!

Barney16 · Today 20:55

If he called you the c word that's unforgivable. Not sure why you are persisting with him, he's a self absorbed looser.

warmsmell · Today 20:55

Did he agree to move your son and drive your daughter to the airport? Because if you volunteered him without asking him then I can kind of see why he was upset.

However, if he agreed to it and then sulked he's being a dick. And don't even get me started over the "cunt" comment.

LulaLulaByeBye · Today 20:57

If DH called me a joke I'd be devastated.if he called me a cunt, it would be hard to come back from. I can't think of anything horrible he has ever called me apart from "snippy". Don't put up with it.

Sally2791 · Today 20:59

Miserable fucker! Get rid

Blondiebeachbabe · Today 20:59

warmsmell · Today 20:55

Did he agree to move your son and drive your daughter to the airport? Because if you volunteered him without asking him then I can kind of see why he was upset.

However, if he agreed to it and then sulked he's being a dick. And don't even get me started over the "cunt" comment.

Ok so we are meeting for breakfast in a town 30 minutes away, where they are staying with her husbands dad. When we drive back to where we live, we literally drive past the airport, so it makes sense we would drop them en route. It does not take us off our route whatsoever!!

OP posts:
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · Today 21:03

so why does that need 2 cars ?

Blondiebeachbabe · Today 21:06

LulaLulaByeBye · Today 20:57

If DH called me a joke I'd be devastated.if he called me a cunt, it would be hard to come back from. I can't think of anything horrible he has ever called me apart from "snippy". Don't put up with it.

He’s called me a cunt many times. I’m so good to him too. He came in tonight to a lovely dinner, all handed to him while he just sat there. I’ve made his lunch for tomorrow. I’ve also cooked him sausages to heat in the microwave for breakfast. I do all the cooking, cleaning and laundry.

The good news is that I own the house we live in, so he’s fucked if we split up. We are in Scotland so rules are in my favour there

OP posts:
Sparkletastic · Today 21:07

He called you a cunt. He sounds vile.

INeedAnotherName · Today 21:11

Blondiebeachbabe · Today 21:06

He’s called me a cunt many times. I’m so good to him too. He came in tonight to a lovely dinner, all handed to him while he just sat there. I’ve made his lunch for tomorrow. I’ve also cooked him sausages to heat in the microwave for breakfast. I do all the cooking, cleaning and laundry.

The good news is that I own the house we live in, so he’s fucked if we split up. We are in Scotland so rules are in my favour there

What do you find so loveable about him? What does he do that enhances your life and supports you? You don't have to reply but please be honest with yourself.

Then go and look up emotional abuse.

Notsosweetcaroline · Today 21:13

How can you be with someone who resents your kids and calls you a cunt. Just how.

Notsosweetcaroline · Today 21:14

You even said you were in love with him. Do you have a history of abuse, how can you be in love with him?

AgnesX · Today 21:17

Blondiebeachbabe · Today 20:49

I know! His own mother was never kind to him so I don’t know if he’s jealous or something, but it feels ridiculous. He was right in my face calling me a stupid cunt too. This is because I drive a small car that isn’t great on the motorway, but I would just drive at 60mph, who cares?

My DH called me a cunt to my face he'd be getting his marching orders. What a disgraceful way to speak to your partner.

He sounds like a miserable sod; what does he bring to your life? Boot him out - Is a single ticket to Australia an option, for you that is.

Edit: to add missed words

TomatoSandwiches · Today 21:18

Git rid of this one op, he sounds dangerous.

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