I think my DH is jealous of my Adult children (that aren’t his)

[Blondiebeachbabe]

Me and my DH get on pretty well most of the time. But I think he’s jealous of my relationship with my adult kids! I hardly see them too. One is 40 miles away and the other lives in Australia.

Two months ago, we hired a van and moved my son into a new apartment. My husband was the only person who could drive the van. He had a long face the whole day and made us feel very indebted to him for driving. Why can’t he do it with a good heart?

My daughter is back from Australia right now, only for four days for a wedding, and we are meeting for breakfast on Monday. I offered to drive them to the airport after breakfast, as it is en route to our way home. The only way that we could do this is to take 2 Cars. Well, my husband has hit the roof! Telling me that I’m a joke and unreasonable . I don’t even really know why he is angry.

I’m just so exhausted with the competition. We don’t have sex anymore (his decision). It’s so sad because I am in love with him, but this is such a turn off that part of me just wants him to leave. He has stormed off to bed and I’m feeling so lost.

A Scottish woman I know insists that cunt is used as a term of endearment up there 🤔 She's from Glasgow.

I have to say I agree with pp, this is a horrible situation and I wonder if you’ve been the proverbial frog in boiling water? Please do think carefully about what positives your H brings to your life- are there any? Do you edit your own behaviour constantly to placate him- do you refuse things you would enjoy because the fallout from you doing them would be so difficult to deal with?

Agreed . Anyone calling me the C word would be an ex

You are in love with someone who calls you a stupid c**t? I don’t even know where to start.

I don't know how anyone can be in love with a man who calls them names like that.

He’s abusive. You know this surely.

If someone called me a cunt I would be full of rage. He is a disgrace

It is not being used as a term of endearment here.

Jesus wept 🤦‍♀️ please dump this hideous man. He is vile.

am sorry but he needs to go. LTB

I’m done. You are all right.

Some people use that word so freely, even some women. It is an insult to women and I hate to hear it used.

Nobody should have the opportunity to speak to you like that a second time!

I'm really hoping I read on and find out you told him to fuck off.

Leave the bastard

It absolutely can be. But it doesn't sound like he was using it affectionately does it?

This would be sad, but not unusual. Same problem with a stepmother in my family.

But I get the impression you've never addressed the issue with him. You can't baldly say, "Are you jealous of my kids"? But you could try asking something more obliquely like, "Are you angry with Sonny for some reason?" I have the feeling this is a dead end, but you might as well be sure before you call it quits.

I would leave just on this alone - what a hideous name to have called his life partner.

OP, there is going to be a widening gulf between you and your children because of this man, and we don’t even know the backstory here. No man should ever come between a mother and their children.

How on earth can you love a man like this?

When i threw out such a dh I was stunned.. Stunned I had done it and fearful of a future without him. Cried solid for 2 weeks. Literally all the time.
Then the cloud lifted. And a bright future enticed me to go on!!
And what a life lay ahead!

Well said.

He calls you a cunt?? What a hideous man. You deserve better.

I am always relieved when i see the op owns the house.
What are you waiting for ? being called C word , i loathe this word ! would be enough for me .

To be fair it can be, in a bit of banter, and is as likely to be directed at a man as a woman. E.g., calling someone a daft c*nt if they’ve done something a bit daft. Like a sweary ‘silly moo’. But it can also be aggressive and unpleasant, same as anywhere else, But again, not a swear word restricted to women.

But OP, even if he’s the type of sweary Scot who uses the word liberally (and I know a few myself), he sounds a bit miserable and dickish.

I agree that he's not using it as banter btw. It was stupid of me to even mention it tbh 😔

What a baby. Controlling, too.

When you said he’d called you a stupid c@£t to your face, that would be it I’m afraid. I wouldn’t give him the chance to do it again, he’d be gone. Surely you must despise him after he spoke to you like that? Life is too short. Whilst you are stuck with this absolute knob you aren’t giving yourself the chance to live the life you could be with someone who respects you and treats you how you deserve. The sooner you leave /kick him out, the sooner you can get on with your life. Also just curious, not judging but did he ever show these traits before you got married or just since? How long have you been married? I’m fascinated when people share that their husbands are so vile. Do these men hide their true selves before marriage or do they change as a person after marriage or were they always like this and the partner married them anyway. Just curious to know.