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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to avoid this woman as much as possible?

128 replies

LilacHedgehog123 · 19/05/2026 13:41

My husband is from a small town where everyone know each other. When we first got together 18 years ago, and up until about 8 years ago, every time there was a night out with a group of friends from this town, one of the wives used to be quite rude to me. For some reason, every time I tried to make conversation with her, she would just walk off. Not make an excuse and leave, I mean she would literally just walk away from me. It was extremely awkward. Especially when our husbands would be chatting.

The last time she did this was about 8 years ago (at a wedding).

Recently, her son and my friend Anja's daughter have become friends in school and consequently, my friend Anja is now friends with this lady.

We're going to a wedding in a few weeks. This lady and my friend Anja will both be there. Our husbands are all friends and recently spent a fun weekend together at the stag do so I know I'll be in this group of people, with this lady.

I'm assuming she'll talk to me as normal now as a lot of time has passed since she was so mean but I don't know how I feel about it. We're both good friends with Anja so I can see us spending a lot of the day together and although I wouldn't say anything as it's a wedding and I'm not one to make things awkward, it just feels like I'm doing myself a disservice if I chat to her politely when she was so rude to me for so long!

What would you do?

OP posts:
TheWorthyNewt · 27/06/2026 22:40

LilacHedgehog123 · 19/05/2026 13:41

My husband is from a small town where everyone know each other. When we first got together 18 years ago, and up until about 8 years ago, every time there was a night out with a group of friends from this town, one of the wives used to be quite rude to me. For some reason, every time I tried to make conversation with her, she would just walk off. Not make an excuse and leave, I mean she would literally just walk away from me. It was extremely awkward. Especially when our husbands would be chatting.

The last time she did this was about 8 years ago (at a wedding).

Recently, her son and my friend Anja's daughter have become friends in school and consequently, my friend Anja is now friends with this lady.

We're going to a wedding in a few weeks. This lady and my friend Anja will both be there. Our husbands are all friends and recently spent a fun weekend together at the stag do so I know I'll be in this group of people, with this lady.

I'm assuming she'll talk to me as normal now as a lot of time has passed since she was so mean but I don't know how I feel about it. We're both good friends with Anja so I can see us spending a lot of the day together and although I wouldn't say anything as it's a wedding and I'm not one to make things awkward, it just feels like I'm doing myself a disservice if I chat to her politely when she was so rude to me for so long!

What would you do?

I'd ignore her completely.

lollypop42 · 27/06/2026 22:54

ignore her !

CurlewKate · 28/06/2026 08:36

LilacHedgehog123 · 19/05/2026 13:48

No nothing like that. I know (from Anja) that if she doesn't want to talk to someone, she just leaves. She doesn't make conversation or excuses to be polite, she just walks away. My friend doesn't know that she used to do this to be however. It just feels so rude to me. It's not like I'm a random, our husbands are friends! I just wouldn't be that rude to someone.

There are always threads where Mumsnetters are congratulating each other on “not making small talk” and not engaging with others if they don’t want to…..

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