Stag do plans and suspect abbreviations

[WestlieJ]

DP is joint best man for a close friends Wedding in early summer and the stag is abroad next month. DP sorted the logistics of booking, chasing everyone for payment etc (there is 16 people going). The other best man has put together a ‘plan’ for the long weekend and sent to DP for his approval.

I’ve seen this because it’s saved to iCloud and we can jointly access that through the iPad we share to watch Netflix etc.

It’s all fairly standard stuff, but the final section is titled ‘expected costs’ and lists things such as a beer, meal in restaurant, etc, to help people budget. Within this section there are abbreviations, which I’ve taken to be ‘dodgy’ given they are not written in full and one is fairly obviously a strip club, although no idea on ‘MP’.

Ive got it in front of me as took a photo so have written out exactly:

SC - Ent: €10-20 / PD: €50-70
MP - €50 / HR +€30 / OWO + €40 / PM,SO +€50 / FS €100

I have already asked DP who said he scanned over the main itinerary and didn’t even realise that last section was on there and has no idea what it means. He also said he never has and never will step foot in a strip club.

Am I being naive to think DP was unaware? And does anyone know what the last part means?

It's PM, SO - prostrate milking/massage and/or Strap on

HR is a hand job (relief)

ChatGPT is often wrong

This one has a price list for sex. It's one of the "some". They researched it, not just happened to get carried away.

I wasnt suggesting that they just happened to get carried away. The point I was trying to make was that people were saying if you go to Benidorm on a stag do. There's always going to be sex involved. Not sure I agree

It's the fact that it was a PDF document with a proper itinerary, with the costs of the various sex acts listed out. A lot of thought was put into this, it wasn't like they were in Benidorm and walked past one of the many brothels and said "hey lads, anyone fancy OWO before we head to the next bar"?! Which would still be disgusting and degrading btw, and if OP had discovered that this had happened on the Stag weekend and he'd claimed innocence, "oh me and the groom avoided that, it was just that Steve and the other best man and Nigel and Dave and big Tom, you know, the ones who go to Thailand a lot, they went in, but not us, no, not us", she would still have had a little niggle of doubt but there is more plausible deniability there. I mean, still disgusting that that is the choice of company the groom keeps, that's who is his best man and the friends who he chose to come on his stag with him, that scenario would still be pretty grim.

But this, THIS is a big neon red flag telling the op that this has been pre-planned, discussed, itemised and LISTED as an option for the men prior to the weekend away. No way, NO WAY did her DH get blindsided by this PDF itinerary, no way did the groom, they knew because it's part of the itinerary. It always has been and it being accidentally shared on the iCloud has sent them both into panic mode (see these messages here between me and the groom, nothing to see here, cost of living, ethical sourcing, it's just the lads who do sex tourism in Thailand, not us, not the groom, even though it's his other best man, no no no...).

Argh, this is awful for the bride, it's the bride I feel for most now, if OP is going to bury her head in the sand, so be it, but she HAS to show this to the bride. Awful. These men are awful...

That’s so clever of you, assuming and making things up about my character.

Really not sure about the gaslighting bit but as long as your post has made you feel big and clever…

When I told dadtoateen that if he won't stick up for women then he's no better than those who live this rancid life my post got deleted 🙄

Can I ask why you ‘don’t judge’ men who pay for sex when they cannot possibly know if the woman has been abused, coerced, trafficked etc?

Don’t you instinctively judge someone who is willing to take the risk they are contributing to the abuse, coercion, trafficking and therefore rape of women?

I’m struggling to understand why you wouldn’t judge something like that.

I genuinely don't understand how so many men can be turned on knowing a woman is there against her will or at least because she feels she has no other options. What about that is sexy? How devoid of human empathy do you need to be to think it's OK? Even if you don't "partake" how can you socialise and laugh with the men who do?

I had an disagreement with a friend a while back because we went for a meal and I felt she was treating the waitress badly. Minor in the grand scheme of things but I wasn't going to sit there chatting with her while she acted that way. I called it out. Surely any decent person does? We're still friends. You can still uphold your values without burning bridges with people.

I cant see OP coming back now. She's made her choice. It's quite sad but what can you do.

Only people that are involved in the industry would understand the abbrevaitions. If the Groom and others aren't, then how would they understand what they were reading? Why would the person that wrote it expect them to know what it meant?

If it was a joke he wouldn't be expecting anyone to know what they meant, he'd be expecting people to google and laugh and the groom to get a bit nervous, because he really doesn't want an STB jist before his wedding.

Every stag night involves jokes about hookers. Notmal stag nights do not typically involve real hookers.

Moreover if there was a stag night thst involves hookers I am 100% sure there wouldn't be a written price list circulated stone cold sober beforehand. It would be a drunken 1am "Snigger, let's make him do this.". The fact that people who know think the prices are suspiciously low also suggests this is just a joke.

I asked Chatgpt and: "In many friendship groups, especially around stag‑do planning, people throw in deliberately over‑the‑top, obviously unserious “extras” at the end of an email to get a laugh. Things like:

• Fake spa packages
• Ridiculous VIP add‑ons
• Absurdly priced “luxury” items
• And yes, sometimes a tongue‑in‑cheek “hooker price list”

Clearly that's not conclusive but I'm veering towards joke.

'Can I ask why you ‘don’t judge’ men who pay for sex when they cannot possibly know if the woman has been abused, coerced, trafficked etc?'

It's easier to look the other way isn't it, nothing to see here etc etc. We see it all the time, people like to 'mind their own business' lest they have to grow a backbone and stand up for something.

Because some people don't see it like that. It's about sex in their view. The people who use these services aren't going to go into detail in their mind about what leads a woman to get involved in the sex industry. They might not know and if they do know - they won't care.

It's the one last fling thing as far as I'm concerned. This isn't the same but there are people who want to have sex with someone before they settle down. I know people who have slept with complete strangers on their stag or hen night because they want to sleep with someone else before settling down (I wasn't there but I know people who were).

And somehow as we can see from this thread that the one last fling mindset has seeped out into other people of the stag party where they are also potentially going to go out and pay for sexual services.

ATM is ass to mouth ??

Is the charges really 100 euros or 100 Billion euros ????

Please report the other best man and the Benidorm shop to the police OP - prostitution is illegal ? trafficking is illegal so the place might be shut down & victims might be rescued?

Oh thank God , that might be it

You think the police won't know?

Your DP’s friends are disgusting. The question is: is your DP also disgusting?

This is a very juvenile response but if you must know, nobody! Actually I have been cheated on once that I know of, but not in this fashion. Probably when I was around your age.

I did work in an environment once upon a time where the Benidorm sex trip was a biannual event for a large group of colleagues and you’d be surprised, even at those your dads age!

Nobody is slating you, no need to get your hackles up. Just pointing out that it is extremely naive to be all smug and not my Nigel, not my Dad, when you simply don’t know. “Cool wife” comments like the ones you made don’t help women who find sex menus on their iPad.

Should she feel “small and silly”? You said you don’t judge these rapists, why not?!

To clarify, I was talking about lap dancing clubs, they still exploit people for sure but I hope they are regulated. apologies if my comments on here suggested anything else.

i am VERY against any form of abuse, rape etc of anyone.

people that use those services are indeed horrible people. I would rather shit in my hands and clap than be associated with anyone like that.

again apologies if my previous messages seemed wrong.

Please read my other reply. Rapists are pond life, I would never justify that action.

He likes winding women up and then reporting their “nasty” responses.

Oh come on!! Don’t be so bloody naive! Ffs 🤦‍♀️

No, that’s not true at all.

@DannyDeever not all stag nights involve jokes about hookers

why are so many men on this thread

also so genuinely bewildered about the dwarfism person tied to the groom stag party tale