AIBU to find it incredibly frustrating that there are basically no resources in the UK for people like me?

[Maybeasd]

I’m genuinely starting to wonder whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this is just a massive blind spot in the UK.

I’m a woman, adult, functioning perfectly well in life for the most part, but I’m very cognitively able and have always been. I’ve been properly assessed and this a known entity (I was not born nor raised in the UK for context).

The issue is I’m finding that there are only pathways if you’re struggling but not if you’re just curious. I’m not only talking about the NHS, even privately I haven’t been able to find someone who hits the spot.

I’ve looked into:
ND assessments (very binary, very impairment-focused)
talk therapy - after years of it total waste of time and money.

People in the US suggested to find a neuropsychologist but they have eye-watering costs, mostly framed around brain injury or rehab

It’s either you’re ill or you’re fine, stop asking questions.

I’m not looking for validation, labels, or coping strategies.
I’m just trying to understand how my mind works, and it feels like that’s somehow illegitimate unless I’m suffering.

So… AIBU to find this incredibly annoying?

I've been having a look to try to understand you better and came across this which I found useful. It was actually one of many sites offering specialist coaching/ counselling for the gifted.

https://intergifted.com/mastery-gifted-coaching-process/

Oh I LOVED k'nex! DD is just entering Lego, both DH and I are so happy about it but I can't wait for k'nex to come back.

It’s actually free! Of course for a lot of things (and I mean a lot) it’s the same as the NHS. 80% of things are “take paracetamol “. Sometimes there’s medicine scarcity, so you have to buy them yourself, but you can find most prescriptions in the “generic pharmacies “ and they cost a fraction of the branded one. The blue inhaler if you go to one of those pharmacies is like £2.

if you need a highly specialised treatment they’re ok to good though. My mom has had heart surgery, my uncle had very decent cancer treatment, two aunts had a gastric bypass…

We do believe in routine diagnostics, so if you’re willing to sit down at a walk in centre all day, you’ll get the basic bloods, urine, etc done no questions asked.

You don’t want to waste all day? A urine test is like £5, bloods are like £10, etc….

I’m used to the NHS now, so I don’t mind waiting around.

Spain?

By free you presumably mean entirely paid for through taxes?

There's a very short list of countries that have that, you are lucky.

Yeah “free” as in paid by taxes, just like here.

It isn't free here. Prescriptions are £10 a time, a whole list of drugs was removed from the prescription list and has to be bought privately, dentistry costs a fortune even on the NHS, if you want the latest biologics for your cancer treatment you have to pay for them (friend's mother doing this now, spending their life savings) etc.

Before we start on paying to avoid waiting lists...

Nowhere near as bad as the US of course but I do rather envy you being able to pop home for a scan. I'm about to pay £250 to get a follow up Dexa that my GP won't order.

OP I really think you'd benefit from redirecting some of your focus. At the moment a lot of it seems to be on yourself.

My ND child functions best when he is supported to get out into nature, help others. Anything that helps him look outward and remember that he is not the centre of the universe and that his concerns/obsessions/worries are not as big or important as they feel. My biggest worry for him is that he becomes a self important adult. Take from that what you will ...

Really glad I'm not the only one was hearing Twilight zone music there.

OP I really hope you're not like this IRL. People will be swerving you man!
Maybe focus on your health anxiety and overcoming it.

OP I’ve had the neuro psych tests you’re talking about. And MRIs/EEGs/SEEG and a PET brain scan to investigate how my brain is functioning and which areas work better than others. I’m sure you’re intelligent enough to research all those.

The neuro psych definitely had to be in person, it was interesting what they picked up on in that regard eg hesitation/indecision/speech patterns etc. it took a few all day sessions plus the pretest and follow up appointments. Im looking at my report. Someone more knowledgeable will know what they actually are but they used many tests including “Hayling” and “VOSP”. It showed strengths and weaknesses in verbal skills, processing speed, perceptual reasoning, visuospatial skills and lots more. Together with the physical diagnostic tests they could actually tell which areas of my brain worked better eg frontal lobe v temporal lobe. It put you in a certain percentile for all these things.

it was actually fascinating to read. It was about a three month wait as an urgent referral. It also included a “premorbid”(?) assessment of how my brain should work based on educational and workplace qualifications and interests etc. So interesting.

unfortunately though my test results were shit basically and depressing reading. It was pretty much all impaired/weaknesses/below average apart from a few things. I had all these tests as they want to remove a lesion which is causing seizures as well as the damage to cognitive skills and working memory and processing speed etc. My “premorbid” was in thr above average and whilst I wouldn’t have been as arrogant as you about it, I would have said I was intelligent, definitely above average and academically able. Now I’ve lost pretty much all that, each seizure damages my brain more and I’m facing brain surgery and a long recovery. I’ll never get back to how I was.

so my advice is to appreciate what you have and stop with the navel gazing. Your posts come across as incredibly self absorbed and contradictory. I’d start with the very basic fact a truly intelligent person wouldn’t use fucking Reddit to analyse themselves on the level you are! You also don’t seem to see any difference in how you perceive yourself and how your posts show you - but the difference is huge. But there is lots more I could say. I don’t want this to be deleted as it’s taken me a lot of time and effort over two days to type! I’m assuming you aren’t a troll and just hold yourself in incredibly high regard.

Honeslty, if you go for the neuro psych testing in USA, I’d be prepared to be brought down to earth with a shock. You put a lot of store (is it “by” or “in”? Anyway.) by Mensa. Mensa is like someone looking you up and down and declaring your size. Neuro psych is like having every single bit of you, every limb, torso, heAd, fingers etc measured with a tape measure. You seem to say this is what you want. Based on your posts, you’ll get a dose of reality versus thr version of yourself you have in your head. Ouch.

honestly just spend your time looking outwards not inwards and appreciate what you have and how fortunate you are. I’ve lost memories of my DCs childhoods as well as my own, I can’t read books anymore, it’s incredibly painful. Do you want to look back on your life and realise you spent all your time obsessing about yourself and thinking you were incredibly special? We are all unique, take the hand you’ve been dealt and keep spending the life you have learning and enjoying it. Like so many PP have said look outwards not in, and if you can’t drag yourself away from your self obsessing, get one of the many types of therapy has been recommended to you by many posters who you’ve not even had the basic manners to thank. Probably as you think they’re not worth it as they’re inferior to your wonderful superiority. They’re really really not. If you want to learn a new skill, try a bit of humility and some manners.

Was this sarcasm or genuine? I am at a point where I can’t tell on this thread. If it’s genuine- how the hell could you not have thought of it, with your high IQ and super gifted brain? If it’s sarcasm - well played and have you considered going to China for assessments, they have international hospitals that speak English, it’s cheap and you’ll get a holiday too.

Well said @BrainInterestingButFuckedUp.
I’m so sorry you have having such a difficult time. x

And I would welcome the results, in itself it’s totally fascinating.

I’m sorry that you’ve been what you’ve been through. Not exactly the same, but I had severe PND when my first was born (although no one really realised) and her first two years are a big black hole of nothingness. I don’t remember her first word, step, etc…. My memories of her start being clearer when she was 3.

I didn’t have the same experience with my second, so I know it was specific to that time.

Aaaaand, back to me me me

Well I’m the subject of this thread, right?

I can’t work out whether you are being deliberately goady or whether you are horrendously self absorbed. I fear the latter.

Even the main character can talk about something other than themselves sometimes.

God you really are a total dick. Why don’t you just fuck off and stare at yourself in the mirror adoringly.I’m annoyed i took so much time to post all that but it may be interesting or useful to someone else hopefully.

Well said @BrainInterestingButFuckedUp

That’ll prob get deleted so separate for this @NooNooHeadi think we have tjings in common, have you had neuropysch testing if you don’t mine me asking? Concussions are fuckers. Also I have myoclonoc(?) jerks which sound similar

Seriously, what was the right reply TO YOU?

I thought of not replying, but I told you that I understood the bit of lack of memory and how that sucks.

what else can I say?

Pain / experiences are incomparable in the end.

Your post was really interesting reading, and I'm so sorry that's what's happening to you.

@Maybeasd, @BrainInterestingButFuckedUp took a lot of time to tell you that you likely won't get what you think you want from these tests, and more likely will find that the results are disappointing. I strongly suggest you think about that. If the results show that you are not as special as you think you are, that's an awful lot for you to come to terms with as it does seem that your entire personality is that you're gifted, special and different.

You need to be prepared to lose that and have even more questions about who you are following these tests you're obsessed with, if you go ahead.

I know that’s a potential result, but in the pursue of truth and knowledge it’s a risk I’m willing to take.

Have you actually considered how you would feel if the tests said "you are not who you think you are"?

Questioning your entire identity and life is not fun.

Hi 👋 Lovely to talk to someone more self aware, and empathetic. Yes, we are similar in some ways, definitely. Concussions are absolutely horrid and my first one totally ruined my life, on top of the horrendous movement disorder caused by that bloody awful neurotoxic poison that should be banned.

No, no neuropsych tests done but I think my brain has been through hell and back, so I'd not like to see the results lol

I lost my ability to see in my mind's eye after the head injury 😞 and my ability to read, too... which was devastating as an editor.

So sorry you have been through so much too. Sending you huge empathetic hugs ❤️