AIBU to find it incredibly frustrating that there are basically no resources in the UK for people like me?

[Maybeasd]

I’m genuinely starting to wonder whether I’m being unreasonable or whether this is just a massive blind spot in the UK.

I’m a woman, adult, functioning perfectly well in life for the most part, but I’m very cognitively able and have always been. I’ve been properly assessed and this a known entity (I was not born nor raised in the UK for context).

The issue is I’m finding that there are only pathways if you’re struggling but not if you’re just curious. I’m not only talking about the NHS, even privately I haven’t been able to find someone who hits the spot.

I’ve looked into:
ND assessments (very binary, very impairment-focused)
talk therapy - after years of it total waste of time and money.

People in the US suggested to find a neuropsychologist but they have eye-watering costs, mostly framed around brain injury or rehab

It’s either you’re ill or you’re fine, stop asking questions.

I’m not looking for validation, labels, or coping strategies.
I’m just trying to understand how my mind works, and it feels like that’s somehow illegitimate unless I’m suffering.

So… AIBU to find this incredibly annoying?

You could look at research participation opportunities in universities but I doubt there are many studies being funded on this specifically. You may that some give you insights more generally.

You could also explore doing a masters with a research component

Of course you can be curious (about... whatever it is you're curious about) and investigate whatever it is.

But if you're not ill or suffering, then there's no reason to expect the NHS to pay for it.

I don't think that's an unreasonable boundary for the NHS to have.

I’m quite intrigued. I work in a post stroke team which usually includes a neuropsychologist and her work is fascinating. But like all of us, her work is about setting and working towards goals. Inevitably in a stroke team that’s about either trying to restore function or identify/practice strategies to compensate for a deficit.

Theres always a cultural element to what we call medicine and psychology. I wonder if you are looking in the wrong place? It depends what the ‘problem’ is, if any, but I actually wonder in the UK if you might find the kind of illumination you seek either in theology, philosophy or sport psychology? I know that’s quite random but I can’t tell from your post what you are looking for.

Sorry op but, what?

You're very cognitovely able
Functioning perfectly well for the most part

So you're a clever woman who copes fine with life.

What help do you feel you need?

I don't think I'm sufficiently cognitively able to understand what the OP is on about. Suspected neurodiversity that doesn't cause any issues or problems in daily life?

The NHS is free at the point of care. It is NOT 'Free'. It is for people who are ill, or believe themselves to be ill, mentally or physically. If you want help understanding why you are SO smart, you will have to pay for it.

Just read some books about the subjects that interest you?

This. Sorry but it reads very much like you are looking for a label. You want to know.

Now I personally understand this completely. However, when you're in the section where ND isn't causing day to day issues, then you really are just looking for a label, to understand what it is that makes your brain work the way it does.

And no, the NHS should not fund that. But I'm surprised you cannot find privately funded clinics that will asses you.

But as assessment for what? Op said she was coping fine, smart, didn't want to pursue nt diagnosis. She doesn't sound like therrs anything TO diagnose other than being an intelligent woman and they're plentiful!

There’s simply no provision even privately.

it’s really an analysis of cognitive style and its effects in my life.

Especially the sensory side of things.

I can feel / see / hear (and even smell if I try hard enough) with certain triggers. It’s called hyperphantasia with synesthesic traits.

I’d love to understand how it all works inside , and explain my behaviours too.

Then read or study psychology or neuroscience.
No reason why anyone should fund this for you.

Buy a book on the subject then?

Not really sure what you need

Bingo! And I’m happy to pay too! But one of such clinics (that charges £5k) just told me I should look for a neuropsychologist, but that’s another brick wall as they only focus on rehabilitation.

the ND side of things is that my DH is now adamant I must be on the spectrum but I’m actually not sure, as many traits can be explained by the gifted profile.

And you think there is a need in the form of some sort of therapy for this ?

I'm guessing the OP suspects she is ND and wants to know for certain.
That's not wanting a label, but wanting to understand yourself. Whilst they may be living a good life, that doesn't mean it's necessarily plain sailing.
I'd agree it's not necessarily something to be funded by the public purse, but I don't think there's anything wrong in wanting to know. It often helps people make a lot of sense of their lives or previous experiences.
There's no need to pile on for asking.

Have you approached any universities? I have synesthesia, but I don’t really experience any real difficulties alongside it. I use it in my work as an artist. I have read around it a bit, because it’s fascinating. I would look into the latest research yourself.

I’ve never said I won’t pay from my own pocket.

You could go on the Mensa website and do all of the tests. You can then tell everyone your level ie; genius, for example. They might have meeting groups and workshops.

As others have suggested, perhaps you think you might be neurodiverse in which case you can pay privately for an assessment. As it’s just for curiosity and doesn’t appear to cause you issues then it’s right that the NHS or whoever doesn’t spend resources on you.

Yes, open university psychology and counselling degrees (or modules from them) would be a good avenue to pursue, unfortunately even the OU has been priced out of most peoples budgets now, so 'hobby' degrees are a thing of the past.

Are you viewing neurodivergence as a deficit? It sounds a little bit like you think you are too clever to be ND. I apologise for the bluntness here, I don't mean to offend but how it comes over to me is that you can't be ND as you don't have enough of an impairment - but if you are ruminating over this so much so that you are willing to pay thousands to understand it - there must be a reason for that...

I think you might want a psychotherapist.

The thing is, I don’t think you need to be neurodiverse to struggle with life.

At the moment, it seems to be a catch all for everyone who doesn’t find life as breezy as everyone they see on social media. But modern life is not set up for our evolutionary development. We aren’t meant to live alone, sit at desks, stare at screens all day, eat junk food, rarely see sunlight or get fresh air or walk a mile.

That doesn’t in any way invalidate the experiences of people who are neurodiverse. But literally everyone I know now thinks they’re autistic or have ADHD, just because they’re burnt out with their 12 hour a day office job and exhausted by parenting. But these things are overwhelming and exhausting. It doesn’t mean something is broken about you or you’re doing it wrong. I think for those people, the supports are there, but they’re in building community and lifestyle changes, not the health service.

I don"t think this is what she is looking for, i does sound like she thinks she might be gifted or something,.

If there's no struggle and you are cognitively capable, couldn't you just research this like any other interest?