Should I apologise to DH?

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I'm not sure if I'm being unreasonable.......should I apologise to DH?

Background is we both work full time, have 2 teenagers, and we share the chores. I would never moan that he doesn't pull his weight on a normal day. The teenagers also play their part in looking after the house / each other.

Today I finished work a bit late and got home around 7pm. Dinner was ready for me (DS had cooked, not DH, in case that makes a difference) and DH came and sat with me to chat about our days and keep me company. He had eaten with the kids earlier.

As I'm coming to the end of my meal he casually mentions that the dog has had an accident on the (carpeted) landing.

Background on the dog. She is 8 years old and is usually good at night, but she would have an accident maybe once every other month. She nearly always has an accident in the kitchen, if at all. She has had accidents elsewhere in the house when on medication previously.

DH says he saw a wet patch on the carpet this morning but assumed it was water (why I don't know). Didn't bother to check this, clear the 'water' up, or investigate where it came from.

This afternoon, after stepping in it and smelling it, he has realised it's urine. He has gotten one of the dogs towels, trodden over it a few times, then left it! His reasoning is:

• he thought he had trodden most of it out (he hadn't)
• he didn't know how to use the vax
• he didn't know what to do e.g. use vax / carpet powder etc
• he was working from home and had to make some calls (he does use his phone a lot for work but he doesn't usually have more than one scheduled call, and most calls are internal within the company. He can make up time later and is always over his hours anyway. I don't know what time he finished work today)

I have shouted at him for being so thoughtless! How could he see a wet patch, assume it's OK (especially with a dog with her history), then when he realised it was urine on the carpet left it for HOURS to dry further into the carpet?!

He is pissed off that I've shouted at him and is looking for an apology. I have spent ages cleaning it up and I'm furious that he is making me out to be the bad guy. I'm not sure if he was being lazy, thoughtless or a mixture of both.

So give it to me straight, aibu for not apologising and maintaining my pissed off demeanor? Or is he just an absolute prat, and I had every right to show I was annoyed with his complete lack of rational thought all flippin day?

He should apologize for being a bit lazy and not cleaning properly, and you should apologize for shouting at him because it's not okay to shout at your partner.

Yup. Diluted with some water if necessary. And no, my house doesn't "fucking" stink 😆

Honestly, all this pearl clutching over a bit of dog pee.

That's disgusting. Are you joking?

Hilarious. There is no smell if you just soak it up, then dilute it a bit.

But then we wear shoes inside, and don't steamclean our kitchen floor every day.

No.

You won't be able to smell it but if this is genuinely what you do then your house definitely smells bad

OK.

We live in the countryside, not suburbia. Maybe that's something to do with it? We also open our windows, wear shoes inside, and don't bother much with antibac or Zoflora.

I'm amazed that we're still alive, or that people dare to visit our "stinking" house!

You don’t get it, do you? It’s not about the dog pee…it’s about the lack of respect for his wife.

How is he not respecting her, by clearing it up in a way that he thought was suitable?

I think ‘abusive’ has to be the most over-used word on this website.

He couldn’t be arsed so cleaning it so didn’t.
Lazy and disgusting to have left it all day.

I’d have given him the vax and shown him where the on button is. He’ll know how to use it then, won’t he?

I would say that, in our house, it's always someone else who will clear up after the dog. It's a bit like emptying the dishwasher - no one wants to do it, but someone will.

It's really not worth sweating the small stuff for.

DH isn't perfect, but neither are you.

Well I've used an old towel to blot out as much as possible before using a spray from pets at home to clean and depong the carpet. Not everyone has an electric carpet cleaner.

and with a constant faint odour of piss, no doubt

As someone else has already said, if you honestly just dilute it with a bit of water and soak it up then yes, your house does stink, you have just become blind to it.
Living in the countryside has got fuck all to do with it.

I wouldn't have shouted or cleared it up.

I'd have empathised and told him I'll go up with him after dinner to teach him. I'd have had to bite my tongue not to passive aggressively had added "so that you know for next time" and I'd definitely make the cleaning more thorough than it needed to be and remark that it will be easier next time as now he knows what hes doing it won't have had so long to sink in.

You sound like you’re talking about a toddler.

He didn’t think it was suitable though…he gave her four different excuses for not cleaning it up properly.

Genuinely puzzled - what is all this Vax business with a bit of dog pee? And carpet cleaner? What do you do/should he have done according to the OP?

I would apologise for shouting and would expect an apology for leaving dog wee on the carpet and leaving you to clean it. I would have expected him to do it

Why did you shout, is he hard of hearing?

But he did do it.

To clarify I meant get the vax out and use it to clean the carpet (as op did after the row)

I wouldn't apologise