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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Relative asking for money

130 replies

novemberdaze · 29/11/2025 23:55

A relative of mine asked me to borrow money. Bear in mind, I've met her twice - the last time being 12 days ago and before that - about 10 years ago when she was a child! (She lives abroad).

She said she would pay it back in a few months and that it was 'urgent' - to the point where she was texting multiple times in a row. What annoyed me is that rather than asking me for a certain amount of money - she asked me 'how much I'd be willing to give her' and kept hinting that the amount of money is 'a lot'. (Which I guess is all relative).

I told my parents (who are old/retired - and have met her multiple times). They are also baffled by her asking 'how much would I be willing to give her'. But they said they don't want it to be a cycle of repeated asks - so it's best not to start 'giving'.

Bear in mind, we all just came back from a trip less than two weeks ago - and everything seemed fine...? We also gave them cash then at the time.

Also, I never gave her my phone number - so she must have asked around for it...!

To make matters worse, her brother (who I've also only met twice) is now texting me too - but pointless crap like those 'good morning' memes and texts saying: 'Hi sisterrrrrr!' (We are not siblings - it's more a term of endearment).

AIBU to say 'no' outright - despite them knowing we obviously have some money to travel (having just seen them all)...?

OP posts:
Hopingtobeaparent · 01/12/2025 09:00

novemberdaze · 30/11/2025 20:17

She said it's for a lawyer and for her home. Nothing else.

(Anyway, said no and blocked).

And the brother also getting on the manipulation wagon. I’d bet he’d have tried to fleece you next if you had sent her any money!

Well done @novemberdaze , not nice to have to do, but I think the right thing…

Mcoco · 04/12/2025 08:05

I would just message saying I have just returned from a trip and have not got any spare cash. I really hope you find someone in a better financial position that can help you out.

Charlie4paws · 07/12/2025 19:51

Block her.

twoshedsjackson · 15/06/2026 13:12

The fact that they are contacting family members they hardly know, in another country, might suggest that they have used up all their goodwill with people closer as family members and geographically.....

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 15/06/2026 13:16

Absolutely don’t given them money just because they happen to be related.

Never mind “tradition” - it’s obviously not the tradition of your immediate family now as you’re from London, and clearly for you, judging by your post, it’s not something you’ve come across or anticipated doing.

Bonkers to just ask people you’ve only met twice for money. Especially the way they’ve put it with the “how much”.

I agree with those saying to block them both!

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