Relative asking for money

[novemberdaze]

A relative of mine asked me to borrow money. Bear in mind, I've met her twice - the last time being 12 days ago and before that - about 10 years ago when she was a child! (She lives abroad).

She said she would pay it back in a few months and that it was 'urgent' - to the point where she was texting multiple times in a row. What annoyed me is that rather than asking me for a certain amount of money - she asked me 'how much I'd be willing to give her' and kept hinting that the amount of money is 'a lot'. (Which I guess is all relative).

I told my parents (who are old/retired - and have met her multiple times). They are also baffled by her asking 'how much would I be willing to give her'. But they said they don't want it to be a cycle of repeated asks - so it's best not to start 'giving'.

Bear in mind, we all just came back from a trip less than two weeks ago - and everything seemed fine...? We also gave them cash then at the time.

Also, I never gave her my phone number - so she must have asked around for it...!

To make matters worse, her brother (who I've also only met twice) is now texting me too - but pointless crap like those 'good morning' memes and texts saying: 'Hi sisterrrrrr!' (We are not siblings - it's more a term of endearment).

AIBU to say 'no' outright - despite them knowing we obviously have some money to travel (having just seen them all)...?

Dude, I won't even lend/give money to people I DO know, (apart from my DC,) like fuck am I giving any money to some fucker I don't know, even if we do share a tiny string of DNA.

YWBU to block this person. But message them first, and say you have no spare money........

@purpleygrey OMG! How did you even react to that?!

This and all of this. I’d actually tell them that their behaviour is very odd too, since clearly they have no shame in the fact that this is far from normal.

Not sure why anyone would second guess this?

Are you even certain it’s her - sounds really scammy

Well you say she's asking you to lend her money then she's saying how much can you GIVE me. I'd say sorry I have to sae up for holidays and I now have no money to lend or give anyone. Maybe get a bank loan? Years ago my grandmother had a letter addressed to Aunty Connie. A distant relative asking for money and didn't even know my nans surname. She told her any money she has she needs to live on and pay bills. Sorry I'd 100% say no havnt got any spare money.

'Give' is the word used by her - as well as promise of repayment - it's a bit of a contradiction. I'd put 'give' down to English not being her mother tongue. But still, it's not happening. Said no, blocked and archived the chat and screenshot just in case. Parents also blocked her too.

She said it's for a lawyer and for her home. Nothing else.

(Anyway, said no and blocked).

I think you have done the best thing. I dint know how people can ask for money especially when you hardly know them.

Someone I know was travelling in India and a guy in a cafe she went to a few times added her as a Facebook friend. When she was back she started to get messages from him asking for money for a visa so he could visit his brother in Australia - he wanted thousands! But the thing is, they see travellers as people with money to burn. They know how much the fare is, they know if someone's not working for months they have money. In this case I wouldn't give her a penny and I wouldn't respond to her brother, either!

Why are you even asking?

Say no and block, what a cheek

Why would you give them anything at all? They're not on their uppers!

Agreed. What a cheek!

You say "it's custom to give money, cash", but whát custom? Is this as a wedding gift, or a baptism? Or the kind of when you visit from abroad you hand over cash??

Are you sure it’s actually the person and not a scammer cloning numbers? Do you have another way of contacting her? You could send a message along the lines of,

“Hi X, has your phone been stolen or your accounts hacked? I’m getting weird, repeated begging for money, which i highly doubt you’d be sending as we hardly know each other, perhaps check your security settings, don’t worry I won’t be sending anything, I take financial security very seriously”

Two birds, one stone.

This

I agree. I don’t know why so many posters are offering suggestions for explanations. Just say No and block.

Best not to fall into the trap of giving. It won't end. Best to say no and block if they persist

Are you a millionaire/billionaire? Bit odd to ask a random relative you’re not close to for money.

Sounds like a real blood sucking parasite. I wonder if they are the type to go hassling complete strangers on the Internet with a sob story for money?

Give them the elbow. Get Rid asap.

I love all the pp’s who veer towards scam as they can’t believe there are really people like this. They really do exist and in some places are common. It’s not just relatives who ask.
As another pp said, some of the first questions I heard from DH’s uncles, aunties, cousins my sisters in law etc was what do you do and what do you earn. I wish I’d been able to say that’s none of your business! You can almost see the cartoon like ker-ching when they convert to their currency. A different pp mentioned a family taking expensive gifts and recipients being disappointed. We have had the same experience too.

I would literally give a distant relative a nominal amount to seek help, such as £20 to get to a food bank etc… to cover the cost of public transport!

They could never say that I did nothing to help, but at the same time it would also be a clear message that I am not going to be dishing out the cash to them!

I also respect people who would give them nothing at all, especially if they were just trying it on!

Don't even consider it. I expect you'll get some sob storey but just ignore.

We had this with my family overseas after my dad passed away. He used to send them money and they lost their cash cow. We got our inheritance and the begging started. I said no I’m skint, but my brother the daft idiot sent £2k, in context my dad sent £100 pm. After he sent the £2k they asked for more. Then he blocked them!

This with bells on!!