Husband going through bin for cat food

[mrsgumpy]

So I need some perspective on this. And yes I know it is ridiculous to be arguing about cat food.

My husband hates waste. He thinks I don't get all the cat food out of the sachet when I feed the cat. I try to squeeze all the cat food out but I find it disgusting so I am not going to use a teaspoon and scrap every last bit out of the sachet. I prefer to get as much as I can out by squeezing the sachet and then chucking it in the bin. However, every time I feed the cat, DH goes into the rubbish bin, finds the sachet and then scraps the rest of the cat food out. It drove me a bit crazy for a while and then I just decided to let him go for it. This morning it started to irritated me all over again to see DH rummaging in the bin and then trying to scrap out tiny morsels of cat food from the sachet.

I am the first up in the morning, which is why I feed the cat otherwise I would just leave him to it. Whenever he feeds the cat it is such a palaver that the poor cat is almost beside himself with waiting for something to eat. DH also likes to ration the cat's food to avoid waste so he eeks out the cat food in small portions over the course of the day, which means we have a constantly meowing cat around the house. Drives me crazy.

Ok, so what do you think? Am I being unreasonable? Should I just let DH rummage through the bin for cat food and not care about it?

I would find this absolutely intolerable - simply unbearable. It’s not just about the catfood, it’s SO disgustingly tight-fisted, is he selfish and
mean in other ways. And it’s also about undermining and insulting you about how you feed your cat. Honestly I could not cope with this. I’m getting furious on your behalf thinking of him bin diving for some car food juice residue. Vomit.

This level of meanness would have me leaving him and that’s a fact. Do you not get the ick from that ? How is he in other parts of life ? Is he always this mean

What size is the cat and the sachets? Unless it’s a tiny cat it sounds like he’s being underfed.

It shocks me how blasé you seem about him deliberately starving your cat. Half a sachet in the morning and half at night is not enough. Why don't you just feed the cat the correct amount it requires and ignore your husband? I couldn't live with a man like this. YABU to continue to put up with this loser of a man starving your poor cat.

Yes this. Poor thing hungrily meowing around the house asking for the rest of its food! As PP said, the pouches usually have the required portion size needed so why does he think he can do his own thing and make the cat miserable!

He sounds unhinged. Is he controlling in other ways?

It would make me miserable to be married to someone like that.

As others have said, it should be easy to check how much food the cat needs by reading the packet. If he is underfeeding the cat then you absolutely must put your foot down and insist the cat is properly fed. Which means you are in charge of feeding the cat and he doesn’t get involved at all.

This whole thing is really very concerning though. It sounds very controlling. Are you trapped in an abusive relationship? We don’t have much to go on, but it sounds as if you could be.

I suspect this is the tip of a very large iceberg. And the cat meowing is a constant reminder, which is why it is jarring.

I see women with OCD who can ruin their own lives. But I see men with OCD (a couple in real life) who ruin the lives of the people around them, primarily women.

Why don’t you act like a responsible adult and give it the correct amount of food instead of tiptoeing round your dick of a husband?
The poor cat is starving. It is cruel and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Exactly my thoughts.

I would tell my dh the cat is healthy on what I am feeding it. It is not getting fatter, it is not lazy, it needs more food than you would give it. If I look at you and what I think is man who would slowly starve a cat, I feel repulsed by this. I would like you to feed the cat on Thursdays, the WHOLE sachet in the morning and then a WHOLE sachet in the evening, and look in the mirror and say I would never starve our cat. Consider it much much much cheaper than marriage counseling, which is the alternative.

because it is repulsive. I hope you have a job and your own money!

Well the cat's life will be short if it's being denied the correct nutrition..
Personally I'd stash tins of dcat food and feed him proper meals..
I hope you don't feed dh. He can scrape food from the ndn's bins.

I doubt the cat is starving seeing that it’s the OP who feeds the cat in the am and give it the whole packet.

The half a pouch is just topping along with kibble, ok? Otherwise it's far too little.

If you have trouble getting it all out of the packet, buy the chunks in "jelly" rather than "gravy". It just slides out in a clean blob.

How about no, just squeeze out what you can, like a normal person

Yep!

If I'm buying sachets, I only buy jelly ones for this reason. The whole thing just slides out.

Get the cat food in jelly, not gravy. The whole things slides out of the pouch in a one-er.

He is ridiculous.
However, the sachets are annoying as there is always a chunk at the botttom.
It will end up as cat shit anyway.
Out 1 year old cats eat 2 pouches each plus biscuits each day.

Oh, my! I've just seen the update that he is deliberately not feeding the cat enough. That's awful - should be at least 2 pouches a day along with some dry food and treats.

Your poor cat!

Scrape out the traces from the last week's sachets and put the scrapings in your husband's tea.

Do you have children, OP? Does he do this with them? Ration their treats, count the pennies?

If you do not - then you need to really think carefully about whether you want your children to have this as their father.

He has a mental illness. It is as intractable and incurable as hoarding. It will never get better and it will never go away. He will never, ever see things any other way than this.

It isn't just the cat food, is it? It will be the soap, the toilet roll, the food bill, the lack of nights out, the mean small grudging birthday presents, the careful halving of all expenses, the whole sad misery of the miser's life.

Eventually you will see the light and be repulsed by him. Then you will hate him. It will be so much easier if you get to that stage sooner rather than later.

Why are you having this debate about how much to feed the cat? If you aren't sure, ask your vet!

Going through the bin is gross.

Same. Just the thought of him rummaging around in the bin to police the cats food has given me the second hand ick 🤢

I do ration out the cat food in that I don't give it all at once, but that's because Dcat is a greedy fucker and prone to making herself vomit by eating too much too fast.