Husband going through bin for cat food

[mrsgumpy]

So I need some perspective on this. And yes I know it is ridiculous to be arguing about cat food.

My husband hates waste. He thinks I don't get all the cat food out of the sachet when I feed the cat. I try to squeeze all the cat food out but I find it disgusting so I am not going to use a teaspoon and scrap every last bit out of the sachet. I prefer to get as much as I can out by squeezing the sachet and then chucking it in the bin. However, every time I feed the cat, DH goes into the rubbish bin, finds the sachet and then scraps the rest of the cat food out. It drove me a bit crazy for a while and then I just decided to let him go for it. This morning it started to irritated me all over again to see DH rummaging in the bin and then trying to scrap out tiny morsels of cat food from the sachet.

I am the first up in the morning, which is why I feed the cat otherwise I would just leave him to it. Whenever he feeds the cat it is such a palaver that the poor cat is almost beside himself with waiting for something to eat. DH also likes to ration the cat's food to avoid waste so he eeks out the cat food in small portions over the course of the day, which means we have a constantly meowing cat around the house. Drives me crazy.

Ok, so what do you think? Am I being unreasonable? Should I just let DH rummage through the bin for cat food and not care about it?

I use a paint scraper on a flat plate to get the food out with no waste, like this but without the blade www.amazon.co.uk/Scraper-Windows-Wallpaper-Remover-Stainless/dp/B07R4P7SKP/ref=asc_df_B07R4P7SKP?mcid=6e6c9ea884e23c63823c775784618121&hvocijid=16710127892326688437-B07R4P7SKP-&hvexpln=74&tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=696285193871&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=16710127892326688437&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9045940&hvtargid=pla-2281435176858&psc=1&gad_source=1

But surely he's just making it far more likely Dcat will start resorting to nicking food from the counters, off plates, bringing back birds to eat? None of which are behaviors you want to encourage 🙄

I know the point of the thread is that your husband is a bastard etc, and going through the bin is weird, but there's nothing necessarily wrong in itself with the amount of food or way that he wants to feed the cat. Ours has 1/2 + 1/2 of wet food, so 1 sachet or tin a day. I scoop out half in the morning and someone scoops out the rest at dinner time. She has 40g of kibble dispensed in intervals throughout the day via robot feeder. She used to free feed and was getting fat, and definitely protested when we changed it! She's now a healthy weight.

But as usual on here it's not about the cat is it! If he's such a tight bastard that you're alluding to, then leave him.

The cat is being under fed with one pouch in a day, no wonder they are crying. I agree the food is awkward to get out of the pack. We use a spare spoon to make sure all food is out of the horribly shaped packet. I will rinse with a little waternin future, that's a great idea.

Your cat is crying because it's hungry. Feed the cat!

Call your vet if you need to and ask them how much you should be feeding a very active cat per day.

I don't think one pouch total a day plus dry is necessarily too little - depends on the cat but that's what mine get and they are borderline overweight. They also steal any food they can get, they're the most food motivated cats I've ever owned. But their weight suggests they're not underfed.

That behaviour is weird as fuck

This! If he’s going to be so pedantic about it, let him do it.

As per my PP I agree with this.

I also think a lot of people don't really understand what a healthy cat looks like. You should be able to feel their ribs and spine easily, for example.

And crying for food doesn't necessarily mean they're starving either. Mind did when we put her on a diet, but I think that was a change of routine confusing her, and her being a bit greedy at the time!

I find pet food in sachets revolting and have actually vomited when chunk landed on my hand. We now have dry food only for our dog. So I understand your repulsion. Your DH has little to worry him if that’s his focus.

Poor Cat. Stop allowing DH (DickHead) to underfeed your cat.

I wouldn't be with a man who would u settees a cat.

But if you're not going to leave him. Then YOU FEED the cat twice a day (whole pouch each time, at least) and also dry food.

leave the pouch on the side for him to scrape if he really must.

i FAR prefer the little tins - never compared to cust to sachets. Feeding my cats with food they enjoyed made me happy.

I used sachets to feed my friends cat that I cat sat, hated using them. She was an old cat (21) and not very active, she'd have at least 2 pouches a day & biscuits.

I’d add that if you’re genuinely concerned that the cat is being underfed, you’re essentially complicit in the neglect if you just sit back and let it happen. If there is a worry over its weight / health then there needs to be a very serious conversation with your DH about this and the possible consequences for your marriage if he doesn’t change his approach. Don’t be afraid to involve your vet if you think some independent and qualified validation is necessary to ensure your DH takes this seriously and you reach the right outcome.

My friend was feeding her cat while talking to me and was spooning the stuff out of a sachet with the bowl on the kitchen table next to me. A bit flicked out and landed near my cup. I absolutely gagged 🤢🤮. The idea of going through to bin looking for opened sachets repulses me and I’d be forced the LTB.

I actually agree with him that pouches are wasteful, as (unless it's the jelly ones) it is tricky to get it all out!

So the solution is to buy little tins or those metal trays. Much less waste with those.

I also agree with you that catfood is a bit rank, and i'd rather avoid touching it or dealing with it on any detail if possible - it's kind of cold and slimey. I will interact with it tobthe extent my cat needs me to, but no further!

In your case, OP, surely the answer is that you leave the pouch on the side and he can scrape it out if he chooses, without needing to root through the bin (which is a bit disgusting, plus I wouldn't feel 100% sure that some form of bin juice hasn't made its way into the pouch, which might not be great for the cat.

As for the amount of pouches you feed, my understanding is that cats can live on dried food alone (my DExH's many cats do) provided it's the right sort of dried food that is designed to be a complete diet. So I guess the amount of pouch you give is therefore flexible. I always feel meat is better for their kidneys though, plus they really enjoy it, so I prefer to give more. My tiny cat gets two little tins/trays a day, plus unlimited dried food (I will ration the dried obviously if she becomes overweight, but currently she is still under).

Oh love, no.

No “and so it goes.”

NO.

This life is so, so short. The days may seem long but then one day, you’re crossing the street and you’ll never even see the bus that hits you. And up until that moment, THIS will have been your life.

You are not required to put up with anything for any reason. If it’s diagnosed OCD, even that doesn’t make this acceptable - there is nothing that makes “rationing” a cat’s food throughout the day any better. And I suspect he probably does it to you too, in a way, when you mentioned no treats or “extravagances.”

Give yourself the very non-extravagant gift of a lifetime free of this shittery. Regardless of your age, it’s never too late for you and Dcat to start a new life together where you can both have as much of whatever you like to eat at any time.

Please. Think about it before dismissing it as impossible. Maybe you’d have to get your ducks in a row, but freedom is worth it.

Love yourself as much as you love your cat. You don’t want your cat to have to put up with your husband’s shite, and you shouldn’t have to either.

Thank you. I do feed him - hence why DH has been going through the rubbish bins to get the sachets. But when I am out (eg: at work) or away then DH is responsible. Tbc, there are always biscuits left out in a feeder. It is just that the cat prefers the wet food.

There doesn't need to be a debate about how much the cat needs feeding, you can work that out, the information for the brand vs your cat's weight and age will be out there.

Work that out, then start to give your cat that amount of food, so if that's two pouches, then feed it two pouches, and let him scrat about in the bin as much as he likes. Not your problem. I really wouldn't join in by leaving the pouches to one side for his inspection and sign off, don't play the game.

Once that's sorted you should have some head space clear to work out if you want to spend the rest of this one short life with a man who underfeeds a cat and fishes used cat food packaging out of the bin so he can scrape them out with a spoon. You're a long time dead OP.

I agree your cat might be underfed. DCat has an annual checkup, which records her weight as well as other stuff. I use that to base her food on, as I'd probably overfeed otherwise. At 4kg (standard sized cat, and pure muscle) she gets 2 pouches per day, plus very occasional snacks of cheese (has to be quality cheddar or won't touch it) or cooked meat from our dinner (little bugger adores my spicy cooking, the more heat, the more she likes).

Her food is 100% meat though, which is filling. Our cat is practically voiceless, so if she cries it means she is very hungry (rare) or unhappy. We get the occasional happy 'eep' in greeting, but it's unusual for her. I know other people have quite 'talkative cats by comparison. I hate the idea your cat might be hungry.

Your husband is a cruel arsehole. I would give him the choice of a properly fed cat or divorce. This thread has made me so sad.

If the cat is a healthy weight and remaining so it is being fed the right amount.

If the cat is overweight or gaining unhealthily it is being overfed.

If the cat is underweight or losing weight unhealthily it is being underfed.

Have you not tried meat in jelly? It come out in one lump - my cats eat the whole lot. so no waste

It is far less icky

They can’t go in normal recycling - do you use terra cycle ?

How cheap can he get, does he like the cat.

Tbf my cats gets one wet food sachet a day, split in half morn and evening, and dry food available at all times? I think that's pretty standard but if you feel your cat needs more then they need more!

Might be a rogue idea but could you order a bulk load of cat food (amazon maybe) and say you got a good deal on it, so kitty cat doesn't have rationed food?

Are you finances joined? Is there a chance you're in financial difficulty and unaware?

I am worried abour cat! My sachets say 3 or 4 a day. I feed 3 plus various improving snacks (dental, hairball) and cat still wails tragically for a fourth. If your sachets say similar then DH is starving the poor creature!