New guy put me off right before we had sex for the first time

[Brooklans]

Just wondering if this would put anyone else off or if I’m being a bit silly.

Background info: I’ve been single for 7 months. Had a few dates here and there, but not slept with anyone since breaking up with ex-dp, as I didn’t like anyone enough to do so. I have been seeing this guy for a month now, and we were about to have sex for the first time over the weekend, but I got put off and left early.

We were at his house, first time I’d been over there. Sat on the sofa watching tv, we were hugging and began kissing. It had been no longer than 15-20 seconds into kissing, our clothes were still on, no foreplay or heavy petting, when he said
”Suck me off and make me cum first” (before we have sex, he meant)

It was just so premature and abrupt, it turned me off. It didn’t feel natural in anyway. I was planning on eventually giving him oral sex, but the fact that he ‘ordered’ me to do it quickly, while we still had our clothes on, sat on his sofa, it felt so transactional.

After he said it, my face must have showed some disgust or disappointment. I sat there and he asked me what was wrong, I said “You’ve ruined the mood”

He apologised, he said his reason for saying that was because he was worried he’d cum quickly. He thought if I’d given him oral sex first, we could have a break then have sex later, and he’d last longer, and that he was actually thinking about my needs (not entirely convinced on the last part).

It’s killed my attraction to him now I think, I’m not sure how to get back to the place I was at before.

AIBU?

Reported for being a creepy bastard who harasses women.

@notthisagain2025
All of your posts to me were deleted, not mine. They clearly checked it out behind the scenes.

You clearly are just unable to apologise.

@notthisagain2025
You are the one who is harassing me ffs.

YUCK.

It would turn you on to have a man demand you sucked him off to completion whilst you sat there after 20 seconds of kissing, fully clothed without him laying a finger on you? Fuck me, the bar is through the floor…

While he sat there with a bag of doritos and a jar of sour cream and chive dipping sauce on his crotch 😂

Hot as fuck, right?!

Euww. Its a no.
He should have had a shufty before.

It’s projection. A lot of men (and some women) can’t stand the thought of being single and enjoying their own company or leaning on non-romantic relationships a bit more.

So they can’t get their head round the fact some of us would genuinely rather be “alone” than with the wrong person.

It’s a them problem basically lol

His approach, suck me off so I come first, he treated OP like a sex worker in for the night, but the chips and dip in his crotch just makes it horribly funny and awful and spectacular fail all at the same time. That could be a Crumb comic.

OP is a better woman than I, I would have been laughing and pointing.

What so many men don't seem able to grasp is anecdotally women are turning away from having a partner because of sub par entitled men like him in their droves, particularly in their 30's as they realise men, children and family life are not the be all and end all

Spot on. And (certain) men are panicking now because a lot of women are opting out of the circus. You see them bubbling with anger leaving hateful comments under childfree single women’s posts on social media.

I’m fairly certain that if, for any reason, I didn’t have my (very lovely) husband any more, I’d not fucking bother with men for the rest of my life.

Yeah hold on to each other for sure lol it’s always nice to hear some people have decent husbands after the constant stream of dating/marriage horror stories you see on MN and other social media.

Cat Herding 101 sounds like a win compared to this.

Yes, dorrito crumbs in all the wrong places!

Not sure how paying your mortgage off equates to understanding women.

What about the feminine wife though - surely that counts for something?!

🤣

I think we can all safely assume that there is no wife, feminine or otherwise.

Maybe he pretends his mother is his wife when she gives him his dinner.

It does seem odd that that his life is so extraordinarily fulfilled but he still feels the need to come on here and show us all how it should be done.

It's a funny old world. Maybe he's just come in from the pub pissed.

I just think we owe it to chaps like this to keep us (hopefully feminine🤞) girlies on the straight and narrow.