Colleague sent me message by mistake

[Islandhopper10]

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

Feels like you need to get over yourself at this point!

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder - stop making yourself seem vain and up yourself

We all understood your point just fine, OP.

Then you've clearly never worked in media, other more modern types of company, retail, labour jobs - lots of people wear leggings for work

I read it as he is saying she is being a tease. I'd just give him the 'I read what you sent' look and wind him up about him to embarrass him every time you see him.

That's not appropriate conversation between colleagues, especially on work time. Seriously, have none of you people ever worked anywhere before? Cannot believe how many people think sexual harassment in the workplace is a totally normal thing

What would you say, if you were going to respond? Hopefully not a telling off given scrunch bum leggings are hardly appropriate work wear.

I definitely would have said something like, ‘Oh, I saw your message before you deleted it. So you liked my leggings?’
I would do it just to embarrass them, but that’s my personality.

I don't see why you think this is relevant. Sexual comments about a colleague are never okay. If she has said something about someone else - they should report her. This wasn't the clever comment you thought it was

I think your colleague was right then - you surely know that scrunch bum leggings draw the eye of anyone behind you to your bum.

I know we are all told that we can wear what we like and that it's all on the person following you up the stairs to avert their eyes and not have a single thought about the fact every natural wobble is visible.

Scrunch bum leggings are not flattering for anyone. I am a pilates instructor in the evenings and wouldn't wear those to that job let alone my day job casual or not. BTW, that comment is just bitchy in general. Not everyone wants to see your ass 🙄

Ew, OP. I'd been defending you but this comment is gross. One of my best friends is a size 20 and wears leggings with crop tops regularly - and she looks fucking hot. Even if she didn't, who cares? Don't be gross, when you're literally asking about what to do when people inappropriately comment on your appearance

I don’t think you’ve really worked anywhere before. Colleagues — especially friends — talk about who’s attractive all the time.

And no, I don't belive that just two friends talking privately about a coworker’s attractiveness count as sexual harassment.

I wouldn’t call him out on it but next time you’re messaging him about something finish with a couple of 😅😅 and see if he dares mention it!

Agreed.

Sexual harassment for an accidental message which was swiftly deleted. Honestly 😭

OP, I had a similar thing once, but because I was his line manager, I had to address it (completely mortifying at the time, but I was so glad I handled it). My colleague was very junior (his second job since uni) and he needed to learn a valuable lesson.

What’s the dynamic with your colleague and how much do you want to put him in his place?

I've worked at many large media companies - clearly you've never taken sexual harassment courses, showing me you've never worked for a big company.

So let me explain for you, as someone that's done the training. You are not permitted to discuss your colleague's appearance. You are not allowed to comment on their appearance at all, to their face, unless you have a very good relationship with them and know for sure it is okay. You are never allowed to make sexual comments about a colleague. This is both on work time and outside of work time.

Your own blatant disregard for company policy and lack of respect for your colleagues, is a you problem and I expect you'll suffer the consequences of it at some point. Hope this helped 👍

Definitely 100% erase it from your memory. That way you won't have to pretend you didn't see it.

Wow, aren’t you a lovely person

You’ll have people say it’s a free world, you can wear what you like etc but to be fair wearing scrunch bum leggings to work (even for a casual dress day) doesn’t sound very appropriate. You are clearly proud of your backside as you’ve mentioned and your attire probably did draw attention to it. That’s not to say that it isn’t crass that your colleague was discussing it in the workplace!

You genuinely can't think of any job where someone might be permitted to wear a pair of leggings? 🙄

To be honest, I would also assume anyone wearing scrunch bum leggings with a normal length t shirt was trying to show off the shape of their arse. I wouldn't say anything but that's what I'd think.

Somebody made a comment suggesting you have a fantastic arse. You comment yourself that you have a fantastic arse, he observed it. I can't see the big deal at all. When I think of all the women that are truly objectified and treated like sexual objects then this doesn't even register. Move on.

Casual discussion isn’t the same as behavior meant to harass. They were talking to each other, not to her, and the message was sent by mistake. You’ve never privately commented on your colleague to a friend, family member, or coworker??? Give me a break!

That's absolutely hilarious, I bet he SHAT himself when he realised! 🤣