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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I can hide a pregnancy until 20 weeks

104 replies

Cococococonut · 20/04/2025 22:04

I’ve just found out I’m pregnant, it’s my second DC. For complicated reasons relating to the timing, I’d really rather not tell my employer until at least 20 weeks.

AIBU to think this is achievable?

If so, does anyone have tips on how? What do you do if your colleagues guess?

OP posts:

THATbasicgirl · 20/04/2025 22:05

Depends on your job? Would it be safe?

Hankunamatata · 20/04/2025 22:05

Second one, unless you don't show or perhaps a larger lady then nope.

You could clearly see i was pregnant by 12 weeks with number 2 ( i was getting g side eyes from 10 weeks)

Springadorable · 20/04/2025 22:06

Also depends what shape you are. If you're slim, probably not. If like most of us you're a bit tubbier, then possibly.

mainecooncatonahottinroof · 20/04/2025 22:06

I got to around 5 months with my third, and only 'fessed up when a colleague announced she was pregnant too and due round the same time as me. I was on the heavier side at the time though so it was harder to tell. I tended to wear loose fitting tops normally.

Though a tall, slim colleague also got to 5 months and I was the one who outed her!! She was standing sideways on and I just blurted it out!

minnienono · 20/04/2025 22:07

Depends on what you have to wear for work, how observant your colleagues are, whether you get morning sickness and your current figure.

I didn’t show until past 20 weeks either time and could easily disguise until close to term but I am not typical

jetlag92 · 20/04/2025 22:08

You definitely can. I had to pretend an employee wasn't pregnant as she hadn't told me until 24.6 weeks! She was massive.

Hankunamatata · 20/04/2025 22:08

I thought i was being clever by wearing looser clothes but that had people guessing too!

Couldntthinkofausername24 · 20/04/2025 22:09

I was so much bigger with my second. By 20 weeks I was bigger than my friend who was full term with first baby. My bump was very noticeable by 12 weeks. Go for it for sure if it's what you want. Wear loose tops or blazers

LemonLass · 20/04/2025 22:09

What duties do you do and would it be safe to continue without potential harm to yourself and/or baby? I am thinking physical work such as lifting/carrying or excess stress...

Werp · 20/04/2025 22:10

Size and shape wise, probably. But if you have morning sickness or extreme fatigue then you might need a backup plan.

Cazziebo · 20/04/2025 22:12

I’m skinny. I was obviously pregnant at 14 weeks.

JaceLancs · 20/04/2025 22:14

I bloomed with DC1 but didn’t show with DC2 until 20-24 weeks - it’s luck a lot of the time!

ElizaMulvil · 20/04/2025 22:14

My class told me I was pregnant at 12 weeks! (Children do spend a lot of time staring at teachers though...adults may be less observant.)

On the other hand another teacher didn't look pregnant when she went on maternity leave at 28 weeks !?

Tagyoureit · 20/04/2025 22:15

There are so many variables on this.....

My 2nd, there was no way I was hiding it as my belly muscles just literally gave up! The bastards!

But I was also in a physically demanding job so I needed help.

Can you hide with floaty tops? Make a show of eating more cakes, or at least pretending to?

Original poster

Cococococonut · 20/04/2025 22:15

I don’t have any dangerous duties, just go into the office once per week. I’m quite slim or I was before my first DC! I had a tiny bump because I had a tiny baby (5lbs at full term!) so I may be being a bit optimistic…

OP posts:

pearbottomjeans · 20/04/2025 22:16

I did but I was a size 16 to start with so much easier than if there was nothing of me.

Welshmonster · 20/04/2025 22:17

how will you explain time off for antenatal and get a risk assessment done?

NeedSomeComfy · 20/04/2025 22:19

My neighbour told me that she was 7 months pregnant the other day... With her FIFTH child... And she's very slim. I honestly hadn't noticed. It was pretty incredible to be honest! She's now practically full term and with a bump smaller than mine at full term with my first baby.
So who knows, you might get lucky!

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 20/04/2025 22:19

With second babies, women do tend to show much earlier.

It was obvious I was pregnant when I was 10 weeks and I was very slim then.

Theunamedcat · 20/04/2025 22:19

Waterfall cardigan

And yes it's possible my colleagues didn't find out I was pregnant until I was 20 weeks they just thought I was a bit relaxed

Springisroundthecorner88484848 · 20/04/2025 22:20

I managed it with my 2nd, I told my direct line manager for the organisation I worked for (as risk assessments had to be done etc). But I was on secondment at the time and didn’t tell that manager until I was 21 weeks. I had told a few at work a week or so before, but my pregnancy was high risk. I was high risk of miscarriage and then pre term labour. I didn’t want to tell anyone until I was sure. Even when I was sure… I was on progesterone pessaries due to cervix issues.
i was very slim and didn’t really “bump” until about 23/24 as I did with my 1st.

Original poster

Cococococonut · 20/04/2025 22:21

Presumably as you don’t legally have to tell an employer you’re pregnant until after 20 weeks you can just take normal time off for antenatal appointments? As long as I don’t have too many my boss is quite relaxed about doctors appointments. What happens if your employer guesses but you’re not ready to disclose?

OP posts:

Original poster

Cococococonut · 20/04/2025 22:23

The reason is I am currently on a promoted role for a maternity cover and I’ve been told this will be moving to a permanent contract, the current temp contract ends around the time I’ll be 22 weeks so ideally I don’t want to disclose before then as it will jeopardise the position. It’s not ideal timing to be honest but I have been with my employer for years.

OP posts:

SnoopyPajamas · 20/04/2025 22:24

Depends how you carry. That can be different with each pregnancy, so no way to really know if you can pull it off.

If it gets really hot in the summer you might have a hard time. Best start with the smocks and big jumpers now, to avoid suspicion

Flutterbyby · 20/04/2025 22:25

Hankunamatata · 20/04/2025 22:05

Second one, unless you don't show or perhaps a larger lady then nope.

You could clearly see i was pregnant by 12 weeks with number 2 ( i was getting g side eyes from 10 weeks)

I hid number three until 24 weeks. Everyone is different

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