To think I can hide a pregnancy until 20 weeks

[Cococococonut]

I’ve just found out I’m pregnant, it’s my second DC. For complicated reasons relating to the timing, I’d really rather not tell my employer until at least 20 weeks.

AIBU to think this is achievable?

If so, does anyone have tips on how? What do you do if your colleagues guess?

With my first I definitely could have hidden it to 22 wks. I did conceal my second around a few groups of people until around about then, but I was so much bigger, it was winter so coats helped, and wouldn't have got away with it with people I was working with all day I don't think. That said, nobody was or should be so rude as to directly ask, although know some are!

I think see how long you can get away with it op, and do your best to get your new position nailed down before the cat is out of the bag. Congratulations!

Agree with this.

A family member tried to do what you did. Work suspected so didn't give it her, instead made her redundant and she had no recourse because she hadn't said anything about being pregnant so her work could deny all knowledge.

Wirh my first i could have hidden it, no visible bump until I was 24 weeks but with my second my stomach muscles were obviously not up to the job and was clearly pregnant at 14 weeks.

I have 22 months between child 1 and 2.

It depends what you weight is like now, what your clothing is like now, what your Stomach muscles are like, how often you see your colleagues.

ive spotted a colleague was pregnant very early, not because she had a bump at all, but because i spotted she was back wearing her maternity trousers one day.

another colleague was concealing a pregnancy and a male member of the team was flabbergasted when i said i already knew when she announced eventually and asked me how i possibly knew. She had an entirely new work wardrobe.

We no linger have communal break areas and more recently, i spotted a woman was pregnant for the first time at 7.5 months.

What?! Why! Ive been on crutches at work multiply times and i stand up in my job all bloody day. Why would a twisted ankle keep you off work in an office?

Not usually. Some people can hide it for longer others not nearly as long. I think it's a bit silly to deny it when it becomes obvious. Not very mature.

Probably not. They'll guess even if they don't say anything. If you start wearing different clothes it'll be obvious. I always wore slim tailored work trousers so had literally zero wriggle room by 10 weeks.

Depending on the type of job you do and how you feel physically (sickness etc is hard to hide) yes you can. I didn’t announce til I was 17 weeks and could have easily hidden it a while longer and I was very slim at this point.

I bet she loved you

When I was pregnant with DC2, I didn't tell many people at work until I was over 20 weeks. A mix of not really feeling the need to and nobody guessed so I just... didn't say anything. I told my manager around 16 weeks I think?

I was "lucky" in that I just looked sturdy rather than having an obvious bump. I just grew in a rectangular, all round fashion.

After 26 weeks I ballooned so it looked like I was restating an elephant, so I'd say you wouldn't get away for too much longer after 5 months.

Good luck, hope the job is made permanent and just remember that you don't really have to tell anyone (apart from HR before I think 26wks).

Blazers?

I was a healthy weight and probably could have hidden my pregnancy/blamed bloating up to about 3months.

A very slim colleague didn't show until about 6months. She literally had a flat tummy until then. I've no idea where she kept the baby!

Good luck.

This, and big scarves… I actually made it to nearly 6mo with my first this way, as it was winter so big jumpers and scarves in a fairly chilly office made it easier to camouflage. Had obv told my manager long before then but not all colleagues for various reasons.

I was pregnant in spring/summer with my second and felt there was no chance of hiding the bump from about 12 weeks, even with loose T-shirts. I did see some friends at about 5mo whom I’d not yet told, who were asking why I wasn’t drinking and appeared pretty surprised when I showed them! So maybe it was less obvious than I thought, but I felt huge pretty quickly with my second.

I was clearly pregnant by 14 weeks

I did, with my 4th and I was a size 8. Because of my age 41, I was pressurised into having an amnio, and I didn't get the results until 20 weeks. No one guessed.

It's very individual - you might be able to hide it but you might not. Work and even some family didn't realise until I was 22/23 weeks pregnant with DC2. One of my colleagues was visibly pregnant from about 8/9 weeks in terms of physical changes and had an early bump from about 10 weeks with her DC1. Babies were born at similar sizes, in fact I think her DC1 was a bit smaller.

Edited to add: both my colleague and I were size 8/10 at the time.

I find other people are much less observant than you expect them to be, they’re unlikely to be scanning you for a pregnancy bump. And if they spot a small bump many would assume you’d put on weight rather than being pregnant.

Ultimately if you don’t tell anyone officially, no one officially knows you are pregnant. It would be an awful and unlikely approach to take to assume you put were pregnant and based only on this not offer you the perm contract.

I hid my first until 19 weeks and no one had noticed. If you break up the bump with blazers, scarves (harder in summer obviously), carefully style your work outfits, carry a folder around with you.

Also one day a week in the office is much easier to hide, perhaps you unfortunately can’t come into the office for a few weeks towards the end?!?

I was casual supply teaching. Sickness and fainting in class ended my role in the school I had been working in.

I was honest about the state of my health in school two and my department knew (and were accommodating about needing to doze between lessons to get through a day). A random staff member asked me at 14 weeks, betrayed by my smock style top and daily attempts to eat a pot noodle and jelly/ custard pot for lunch. Real food just triggered my gag reaction and I was losing weight fast despite my growing bump, and anything with calories I could get into myself was a bonus by that point.

It depends on your bump. With DC2 and DC3 I didn't really show until about 23 weeks and even then it was a small bump. As someone who worked in HR I would recommend you tell them though because it means they can ensure you don't need to do things that may hurt you or the baby. Things like moving desks etc. You also won't be entitled to any time off for appointments etc if they don't know.

I could have, but that's because I was tall, overweight and never had a prominent baby bump even at full term.

I remember with my first going into Superdrug to buy some newborn nappies and the lady on the till asked if I'd just had a baby, I replied saying no she is due in 2 weeks!

I did but size 16 and usually wear baggier clothes anyway

totally outing myself here as I’ll be easily recognisable, but I’ve had 9 babies, could easily have hidden my pregnancies till way past 20 weeks with all of them apart from the last, he was the only one I looked properly pregnant for! And I was reasonably slim before each of them (size 8-10]. I just never got a big bump.

20 weeks with baby 7 in the flowery top, 20 week with baby 8 in the plain white top.

We had our first baby in January. We told nobody apart from immediate family until I was about 23 weeks pregnant as we wanted to have the 20 week scan first.
I fortunately had a straightforward pregnancy, no side effects to speak of and I didn't start to show at all until I was about 32 weeks along and even then I only had a small bump until I gave birth. I was quite slim before I got pregnant so thought I may show earlier but I didn't even gain a pound until about 20 weeks. I did get a bit worried as, when we told people I was pregnant, everyone commented that they couldn't believe I was so far along and not even showing as they said they'd all been massive by the same point in their pregnancies so I was concerned that something may be wrong, even though all scans showed baby was growing well. Nobody suspected we were expecting until we told them. So, I can confirm that it is indeed possible to conceal a pregnancy until 20 weeks, though it's obviously dependant on you and your symptoms, bump size, etc.
I don't drink alcohol so that wasn't a giveaway in social settings as it has been for many of my friends, but I can't imagine this coming up in the workplace, unless you regularly go for post-work drinks I suppose.
Our perfect baby girl was a healthy 7 pound when she was born. Best of luck with your pregnancy.

With 2 of my pregnancies I didn't tell anyone until after 20 weeks (due to personal reasons) i just wore baggier tops, with my 2nd of those pregnancies I was showing from about 10 weeks if you looked at my belly. Once I'd announced it at work a couple of people had said they were suspicious but didn't want to ask.

I don't think you're obliged to tell them any earlier than that anyway so just wear baggier tops and don't mention it. Hopefully nobody will rude enough to ask you directly.

I was much much smaller with my second pregnancy, I looked about 4 months at full term even though she was bigger than my first baby. I have no idea where she was hiding 🤣