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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

968 replies

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 18:52

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Rosebud21 · 07/04/2025 18:58

DaisyChain505 · 07/04/2025 18:54

I would purposely be out there in my grottiest pyjamas dragging the bin around whilst shouting to my husband inside to pour me a glass of wine.

& add a face pack with knickers on your head, for your own amusement

AcquadiP · 07/04/2025 18:58

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 18:52

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

Bloody hell, what a cheeky cow! My answer would have been a firm "No."

TheCosyRain · 07/04/2025 18:59

This is honestly amazing 🤣. Is she Hyacinth Bucket!? I would be making full use of my garden on those days and pop my head over the fence to say hi too!

PayingItBack · 07/04/2025 18:59

I would burn a cannabis scented wax melt and blast out drum and bass music whilst licking a football against the fence. What a CF

FuzzyPuffling · 07/04/2025 18:59

I would also take up the violin and practice in the garden.

GabriellaMontez · 07/04/2025 19:00

It would be 'karaoke in the garden' day for me!

murasaki · 07/04/2025 19:00

Do you live next door to Hyacinth Bucket?

StopGo · 07/04/2025 19:00

Is your neighbour Hyacinth Bucket?

Writerbiter · 07/04/2025 19:00

Do you have or can you borrow a very barky dog?

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 19:01

Arlanymor · 07/04/2025 18:58

Who does she think she is? I thought she was being nice and considerate dropping a note with the dates so that you know it might be noisier than usual, but BOOM... dictating what you can/cannot do in your own space? That's batshit. It's honestly batshit. You are not overreacting or being sensitive. Buy one of those waving person inflatables that they have at car dealerships and ONLY inflate it in your garden on the days that she is holding her parties... I mean it doesn't make any noise does it, so how can she complain?!

As you can imagine, there have been other instances with this neighbour trying to lay down the law about what we can or can’t do. We can’t leave the bins out the front because it’s “unsightly” or leave any washing on our Juliet balcony because it’s “common”.

its hard not to take offence when she clearly sees us as beneath her!

OP posts:
TruthOrNo · 07/04/2025 19:01

I wouldn't dignify that with a response. Ignore her.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 07/04/2025 19:01

I'd say,
"That's great, thanks muchly, we obviously won't be in the garden as we'll be at your place. Is it a BBQ? Should I bring my own sausages? Sounds great, what time does it start?"

Vaxtable · 07/04/2025 19:01

I would be telling her she cant dictate when I can use my garden so sorry if it’s a nice day I will be out in the garden and her posh friends would have to lump it

stopringingme · 07/04/2025 19:01

I would purposely use my garden and I would probably buy a trampoline and invite loads of screaming kids round.

vandelier · 07/04/2025 19:01

This reply has been deleted

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Whatifitallgoesright · 07/04/2025 19:01

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6Q8v1eZdaGDfjzd2nTieeE?si=4114247bdf914400
This is a spotify playlist called 'Because fuck neighbours'. It's a treat. You'll need to take up smoking weed too, if at all possible.

Spotify

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6Q8v1eZdaGDfjzd2nTieeE?si=4114247bdf914400

Jungfraujoch · 07/04/2025 19:01

HellenaHandbag · 07/04/2025 18:53

I would be telling my neighbour to FO

This ⬆️

Arlanymor · 07/04/2025 19:02

Aliceglass · 07/04/2025 19:01

As you can imagine, there have been other instances with this neighbour trying to lay down the law about what we can or can’t do. We can’t leave the bins out the front because it’s “unsightly” or leave any washing on our Juliet balcony because it’s “common”.

its hard not to take offence when she clearly sees us as beneath her!

Totally can, this whole 'my friends are well to do' nonsense showed her character in spades didn't it? Wow. She's something else isn't she?!

DeepLimeBird · 07/04/2025 19:02

Where do you live and what are the dates? We’ll all come round for a boozy blaring bbq

SpringIsSpringing25 · 07/04/2025 19:02

jeaux90 · 07/04/2025 18:56

Fuck that, I’d be having a BBQ those days CFs!!

& i've been inviting a friend of mine who can't cook on the barbecue and incinerates everything!!

Plus their delightful children who love game with the huge water guns!!

A few dogs that don't get on very well

Local teenage band (let's say struggling artists)

& anything else obnoxious I could think of

I'm assuming the OP is just on a wind up, surely no one is this fucking ridiculous??

Arlanymor · 07/04/2025 19:03

Whatifitallgoesright · 07/04/2025 19:01

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6Q8v1eZdaGDfjzd2nTieeE?si=4114247bdf914400
This is a spotify playlist called 'Because fuck neighbours'. It's a treat. You'll need to take up smoking weed too, if at all possible.

Oh my god this is hilarious! I'm lucky because I have lovely neighbours, but this just tickled me so much!

MyKingdomForACat · 07/04/2025 19:03

Make sure you’re sitting on the back doorstep with a fag on

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 07/04/2025 19:03

Oh, OP.

You could have some real fun with this.

Do you have a male partner or friend who would be up for strutting around in a Borat style mankini?

faerietales · 07/04/2025 19:03

I would be planning very loud, group get-togethers on every single date she gave me, plus some more for good measure.

Tooty78 · 07/04/2025 19:03

I'd hire a bouncy castle for the day.