To feel miffed with my neighbours request?

[Aliceglass]

I don’t know if I’m being sensitive or unreasonable here. My next door neighbour approached me at the weekend to give me dates of their summer garden parties.

For context, We live in a terrace of modern houses and we all have similar sized gardens, enclosed by neighbouring gardens, back and side.

So my neighbour told me about her planned garden parties over the next few months and there were 3 dates confirmed, 2 tbc.

But, she has specifically asked us that we don’t use our garden during the days of these parties.

I was a little take aback and said that we don’t have any scheduled bbqs or parties on those dates so they will be fine. But she said they didn’t want us to use our garden, AT ALL!
Apparently it will spoil the atmosphere if I was to “pop to the bins and empty my recycling” or if they could hear the washing machine on a spin if I left the back door open!

I did laugh at this stage and say well I can’t promise to not access my garden for the whole day.

She went on to say how her friends are “well to do” and they would expect privacy and not to be interrupted by unnecessary noise.

I got a little frustrated at this point and I asked if she was just letting me know or if the neighbours the other side were also being asked this. She assured me that, yes they were and they confirmed they won’t be using their garden or the gate to their garden at the back so as to not disturb her.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this request is unusually controlling?

Give those gussets a really good airing!

Of course you ignore her!!

My neighbour opposite asked me to disable our flashing Christmas lights, because her adult son sometimes pops in and he has epilepsy. I suggested she closed her curtains if he came. She said she didn't have curtains. She most definitely does have curtains. Some people are batshit!

Thankyou for a good laugh. I needed it today and after your DH's comments on private education, I burst out laughing. Unbelievable what some people think they can get away with. Well done for not putting up with that nonsense.

How's the head this morning @Aliceglass?!

Imagine your neighbour may have had some retaliation emergency lawn mowing or vacuuming to do this morning!

You don't do yoga in your garden while your husbands works by any chance, do you?

I used to live next door to a couple, the husband was Very Important in his company. Whilst he was shagging his PA.
They had other Very Important colleagues round one day and were sitting in their garden.
At the time, I had two tortoises, one of whom was a Sex Beast, and that afternoon was pestering the other one. I shouted “ she doesn’t want to have sex with you”. Cue deathly quiet from next door.

I think OP has just enjoyed a small amount of rebelliousness in response to her neighbour's unreasonable behaviour. OP's actual behaviour was very measured and I should think her future behaviour will be too. There's no harm in taking pleasure in coming up with ridiculous ideas and having a giggle about it! Maybe lighten up a bit?

I think that your neighbour is seriously out of order in her demands of you. However, you are REALLY enjoying her misery, so neither of you seem very kind or thoughtful in this really.
I would have said, "I won't be modifying your behaviour to suit your party, and in fact I won't be modifying my behaviour at all in order to suit your standards. Asking me to change my plans, or telling me where to put my bin, is controlling and undignified of you- don't do it again." I would NOT have arranged a party in order to piss off my neighbour, posting updates online about how you've ruined her evening.
Be an adult.

BBQ at yours on those dates....😆

I think this is very very unkind and selfish.

Grilled fish sound's nice

I think your neighbour a cheek and I would do what i normally do

she doesn’t seem worried about inconveniencing you.

perhaps she needs to move to a stately home if her guests are so well to do

very Hyacinth Bouquet imo

so many great ideas on here for you to try on those days OP

Your response should have been a polite "sorry, but no, you can't tell me what to do in my own garden".

The woman is also a snob, inferring that you are a lower class than her well to do friends who might be offended by the sight of a binbag.

You can't let her impose her will on you, so do make sure that you make use of your garden on those days.

Damn, how did I miss this thread before ✊🏻😈

A simple no would have done.

The OP sounds absolutely insufferable. And now her neighbour hates her.

Pathetic.

She sounds like Hyacinth Bucket!

id be outside on those days with the radio playing loudly and my (imaginary) kids playing on a trampoline while making a Barbie and inviting me friends to byob.

I like the idea of a trampoline near her fence too. The kids can ask Mrs Bucket questions every time they are on the upswing. They can tell her all about smelly poos as well.

Don't do this. Instead say, You are being utterly ridiculous, I hear your request and the answer is no, I will not refrain from using my own garden under any circumstances.

Sorry quoted wrong person. Anyhoo, it's all nuts!

OP! Has the Candlelit Supper been yet? If not, please pop up over wall and ask to borrow a tenner for the leccy and maybe some cigs

Otherwise ignore her. I'd lay off out of having a rival bbq assuming out of goodwill of it was a special occasion but she can get to buggery with the rest.

I'd be borrowing a friends dog to bark at the fence all afternoon. But Im twisted

Better still, a friend dressed as a dog barking at the fence...

Tell her to feck off! No chance I am being told what to do in my space and how would she feel if you said that to her, what a cheek! Hope you didn't say yes.

OP when this thread gets full we need a continuation! #waytooinvestednow 😄