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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL calling DH during my C section asking him to order her a takeaway

110 replies

AshLeeKimb · 12/02/2025 19:59

As the title says - AIBU to think this is completely unacceptable? After a recent tricky end to pregnancy I was having a scheduled c section. Within an hour of the procedure MIL was calling DH asking him to order her a takeaway as she doesn't use apps on her phone. Unbeknownst to me he had done this, I only found out it had happened because shortly after when I was fresh out of surgery she called him back complaining that the items she received were incorrect. He hung up on her at that point as we're obviously not in a position to be thinking about that. It really makes me question how I feel about her as a whole and don't feel like I can forget it! AIBU to be annoyed?

OP posts:
Completelyjo · 12/02/2025 20:01

I mean does it really change your life? You didn’t even realise it at the time!
You’ve literally just had a baby, focus on that.

Isseywith2witchycats · 12/02/2025 20:02

Annoyed i would be livid t both of them her for asking and your DH for indulging her trying to spoil your special moment meeting your new baby

yeesh · 12/02/2025 20:02

Obviously she’s bonkers but why the fuck did he go along with it?

greatvisuals · 12/02/2025 20:03

You're not supposed to have your phone on in the operating theatre.

Tooearlytothink · 12/02/2025 20:03

I'd be annoyed but I'd be more annoyed at DH for getting involved in the first place, not focusing on what was going on with you & DC. That said, it's done, is there anything to be gained from mentioning it now apart from maybe a brief chat with DH to point out that he perhaps needs to re-assess his involvement with DM.

greatvisuals · 12/02/2025 20:04

When did this happen - today? yesterday?

LadyKenya · 12/02/2025 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Thirteenblackcat · 12/02/2025 20:06

Oh gosh, put your foot down with DH before you go home from the hospital, not just on this craziness but on her attention seeking, which it clearly is

MounjaroOnMyMind · 12/02/2025 20:07

She sounds absolutely nuts but why did he do it?

CoolOtter · 12/02/2025 20:09

So are you saying, you were on the op table, tent was up, hubby was sat at your head, his phone rang and MIL asked him to order her a biryani, pilau rice and a barjee. Hubby lept on ubereats and placed the order? Or was he waiting somewhere in the hospital?

Original poster
AshLeeKimb · 12/02/2025 20:09

@greatvisuals about a month ago. I haven't said anything and won't, MIL is lovely and a great DGM, I just found the whole thing a bit odd!

OP posts:
Completelyjo · 12/02/2025 20:09

greatvisuals · 12/02/2025 20:03

You're not supposed to have your phone on in the operating theatre.

Says who? The anaesthetist took my DH’s phone during both of my sections to take photos and videos of us. DH has long videos of the babies getting checked too.
Literally every person I know has a photo as soon as the baby came out!

Original poster
AshLeeKimb · 12/02/2025 20:10

We were allowed phones in the theatre we were told to take one in for photos explicitly.

OP posts:
Porkyporkchop · 12/02/2025 20:11

Why did he answer the phone ?! I mean, you wouldn’t be looking at your phone at a moment like that would you?

Roseshavethorns · 12/02/2025 20:11

I don't think your issue is with your mil. Unless she was with your DH at the time she probably didn't know exactly what was going on.

But what on earth was your DH thinking. Was he so disinterested in his child being born that he was reading his messages?

toastofthetown · 12/02/2025 20:12

That's bonkers! How on Earth did that conversation even happen?

"We're delighted to say that Timmy is here safe and well. He's 3kg and doing well. I'll send you over some pictures later. AshLeeKimb did amazingly and is recovering well from the surgery."

"Splendid. Can you order me mapo tofu with egg fried rice and salt and chilli chips please. I don't want to use the app."

DH would probably have hung up at the first request (if he answered the call at all).

pictoosh · 12/02/2025 20:13

Honestly, I don't think it's a big deal. You didn't know anything of it at the time.
Why are you upset about it now?

Completelyjo · 12/02/2025 20:14

AshLeeKimb · 12/02/2025 20:10

We were allowed phones in the theatre we were told to take one in for photos explicitly.

How did you only find out after that your DH answered the phone during your surgery, and while sat 20cm away from you he was chatting to his DM about her takeaway order?

cunningartificer · 12/02/2025 20:15

Wasn't it an hour afterwards? Not during the operation as PPs are suggesting. A little weird but down to your DH to tell her he was busy and perhaps he felt he could do it without it being much hassle. It clearly didn't disturb you at the time so didn't take his attention off you when you needed it...

FoxtonFoxton · 12/02/2025 20:17

It's so ridiculously bonkers that you will look back and laugh (especially if MIL is normally lovely). Forget about it and treat it as a moment of madness from both. It didn't cause any issues. Congratulations on your baby!

Thepossibility · 12/02/2025 20:17

This would be a memory that we'd laugh about. It's so silly that it's amusing sort of thing, especially as you say she is otherwise a lovely GM/MIL.

easylemonsqueezy · 12/02/2025 20:18

Your partner is a twat

Completelyjo · 12/02/2025 20:18

cunningartificer · 12/02/2025 20:15

Wasn't it an hour afterwards? Not during the operation as PPs are suggesting. A little weird but down to your DH to tell her he was busy and perhaps he felt he could do it without it being much hassle. It clearly didn't disturb you at the time so didn't take his attention off you when you needed it...

The post is all over the place to be fair. The title says “during”, then it was within an hour of the surgery, but then OP only found out after right after her surgery.

Polkadotbabushka · 12/02/2025 20:22

Your DH is a mug for doing it!

ClarasSisters · 12/02/2025 20:25

Are you annoyed with him, or just her? Because he didn't have to answer and he certainly didn't have to do it!

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