MIL calling DH during my C section asking him to order her a takeaway

[AshLeeKimb]

As the title says - AIBU to think this is completely unacceptable? After a recent tricky end to pregnancy I was having a scheduled c section. Within an hour of the procedure MIL was calling DH asking him to order her a takeaway as she doesn't use apps on her phone. Unbeknownst to me he had done this, I only found out it had happened because shortly after when I was fresh out of surgery she called him back complaining that the items she received were incorrect. He hung up on her at that point as we're obviously not in a position to be thinking about that. It really makes me question how I feel about her as a whole and don't feel like I can forget it! AIBU to be annoyed?

My P had a massive phone drama with his family, parent & siblings, during and immediately after the birth of dd2, over frozen leftovers.

I'll never forget - but I can laugh about it now.

Because DP should have 100% been focused on the OP

He didn't have to answer his phone.

This 👆❤️

Where was your DH if you didn't even know he had taken that phone call?

If he was off somewhere waiting for you to be transferred etc I don't see the problem with him doing it, it's obviously something he does for her or has done before?

More fool him for answering the phone and acceding to her bonkers request when presumably she knew you were mid c-section, as did he, given he was there!

Could I play devils advocate here?
On one hand, it seems totally and utterly selfish, emotionally devoid, needy; bizarre. On another, I am very aware of the absolute horror some of the older generation feel at having to use Apps, and modern technology. My own DM is one of them. If your DH has shown her prior to your birth, maybe she thought she'd have a go and couldn't deal. As for pestering about how dissatisfied with the food/order, I'd have told her now was not the time, to apologise and be grateful she had a meal or some sorts. And noted it in my subconscious journal for the rest of time.

When I had an elective section I knew the day but not the time - it could have happened any time between 9am and 4pm.

During the op I remember it feeling very surreal, and I could well imagine someone slipping into autopilot and not really thinking it through, especially if ordering her a takeaway is a normal thing, so I’d probably let it go.

You allow people to be that disrespectful to your position? More fool you!

OP, she is batshit crazy!

Last time I checked, if you are capable of ringing your son to order a takeaway, you are still capable of ringing a restuarant to order a take away.

Restuarants still have telephone lines.

I would be pissed off and concerned that my MIL was that lacking in independence skills. She is a grown woman.

She needs to be able to use a phone or use an app herself.

Given you have just given birth, it is unlikely that she is that old and incapable of doing this herself.

And thats why I would be pissed off. The timing of this, is thoughtless, but isn't the issue ultimately. Your DH should not be enabling this. He should be asking questions about why she is failing to deal with her own basic life issues at such a young age.

So he put the order in at some point during the hour before your surgery? That's just waiting around time tbh. Why does it matter?

So your MIL knew that you were having a scheduled caesarian section and she still called your DH to ask him to order her a takeway? And your DH did it? That was an entirely inappropriate thing for them both to do.

In what world is this true? It’s absolute nonsense. 🤣

I think some of you might be imagining a little old dear. Statistically it’s likely that this woman is somewhere between the ages of Jarvis Cocker and Cat Deeley.

I had an emcs at 35 weeks.. Dh's distraught phone call to mil resulted in her now telling him he could now take them on their annual trip away....
Ds was due that week and dh had said he wouldn't be going...
He told her no he wouldn't be leaving us...
She never forgave him.
Haven't see her for over a decade..

It's so ridiculous that I'm thinking this is a spoof post.

Have you heard of empathy? I’m sure OP is focusing on her baby just fine. Just in case you got lost, this is a forum where people come to talk about whatever they like. OP has just had a baby and is in a vulnerable position. You could’ve said something that helped, nothing at all, or something that didn’t belittle the OP. Not sure why you chose option three.

Sorry Completlyjo
Myself and others my age ( around 80years) did not have a photo of the baby as soon as came out by C section.
Taking photos in the operating theatre unheard of then, ( except by staff for medical purposes only) and no husbands or partners allowed in the theatre.Also all sections done under GA then.No one wants to see themselves with endo tube coming out of their mouth.My two c sections were extreme emergencies both my children almost dead when born, successfully resuscitated thanks be to God.
I hope I have not offended you, in fact I envy you, I never saw either of my babies till two days old.
I am very pleased to know things have changed for the better

Well it's usual in our hospital Trust. Maybe they can't be arsed with safety in yours.

Categories of mobile phone areas across the Trust can be split into three;

Category 1 – Non-Clinical areas/low risk patient areas (e.g. clinic waiting areas, corridors, reception areas), where mobile phones can be used by staff, patients and visitors alike.

Category 2 – Clinical Patient areas (e.g. general wards, departments) where mobile phones can be used by staff, patients and visitors, but may be subject to local restrictions if their use is deemed to be affecting patient care, dignity or confidentiality.

Category 3 – Safety Critical Patient areas (e.g. Intensive Care, High care, and Theatres): Mobile phones must be switched off in these areas.

@RedToothBrush Restaurants still have telephone lines.

They do indeed, plus websites with their menus, and that's how I order takeaways/deliveries, because I can't be arsed fiddling around with apps when I can speak to a human being.

There’s a report button for this that saves you from saying something unhelpful to a genuine poster.

Nah, pretty commonplace for cs, the parents get photos, ask nice and staff will do it for you

I wouldn't be too bothered as I also read it as being an hour later. If I hadn't noticed at the time I certainly wouldn't care afterwards.
OP you say she's a good GM so I'd just focus on that.

The day after I’d had a c section, my MIL insisted my DH (just him, not one of his 3 brothers) paint all of her exterior window frames. He just shrugged and said he’d be as quick as he could and would be in to visit me and our new baby as soon he could.
Her reasoning was that it was ok as we were in hospital so the staff could look after us!
And no, I have no idea why he didn’t tell her to F off!!!

That would piss me off,my partners mum who we invited to be there just after dd was born turned up literally sobbing ( she'd had a row with his brothers ex ) she made it all about herself literally then fucked off to meet the ex to collect grandchild ! Never again! She wasn't welcome in the hospital the next time I had a baby why are mil like this !!