Father in Law 80+ naughty boy

[WhatDidIjustHearr]

This is not really an AIBU but felt like a good place to post.

Staying at my in laws at the moment with the kids. Mother in law and DH went out and I’m working from home. Father in law is also at home.

I’m upstairs and he is in study downstairs. Suddenly I hear a woman’s voice - it sounds like she is in distress or sort of semi screaming in pain. Well the first few seconds I thought that’s what I was hearing as thought he must be watching some crime / drama or something… but he was clearly watching porn.

I think he is rather deaf, it was rather loud. He did turn it down a bit but the change of volume was like someone who is screaming is now just shouting.

I don’t judge anyone for watching porn but I actually had a physical reaction to that and feel somewhat sick.

He, I assume, clearly didn’t think I can hear it. Or did he forget I was here?

What if a bloke is watching porn on the bus then? That's OK with the cool girls too?

If this guy knows she's in the house, he's a pervert. And if he gets his kicks from women being distressed, he's a pervert.

(I've had hearing loss - you don't forget you've got it as you literally can't hear people talking at normal volume. So unless he's got dementia, he isn't unaware about normal volume.)

It means sexual offender.

Sheesh, are you telling me that all the bad behaviours we see some men displaying now is going to continue well into their eighties? FFS!

Quite honestly it wouldn't bother me if someone was watching porn on a bus any more than it would bother me if someone was watching a music video, provided I couldn't hear it. In fact, I would probably find it more irritating to have to listen to the latest one direction ditty than porn and would expect anyone playing games, watching videos etc in public to do so wearing headphones. But we're not taking about a man watching porn in public transport - he was in his OWN HOUSE. The OP doesn't know if he thought that everyone else was out, any more than she knows whether her mother in law also likes to dress in a French maids outfit and get the whip and chains out. Maybe they're like Donald and Jacqueline from Benidorm?

Comparing a private residence to a public transport vehicle

Ive heard it all now

One Direction broke up ages ago.

Thank god for that 😆😆.

"Quite honestly it wouldn't bother me if someone was watching porn on a bus any more than it would bother me if someone was watching a music video, provided"

Bloody hell, standards have dropped.

Right so no.1, being 80 doesn't have anything to do with anything. It's not acceptable to suggest that a person of any age should somehow be obscene or inappropriate for having a sex drive. And no, it doesn't fit nicely with the idea of a grandad, but tbf it doesn't ever sit nicely to think of any parent/grandparent/relative having sex, so that's just par for the course.

As for him listening to loud porn on his computer in his study when he thinks everyone is out.. 2 points:

He might have thought you were out too. In which case it's really zero issue. A guy home along doing what he wants.

If he knew you were there, he might not have realised you could hear it, as he is apparently deaf.

BUT

If he did know you were there, I'd say 99% likely he was getting off on the fact that you were nearby while he watched it. And he may even have done it on purpose. His wild fantasy being that you are attracted by it/come in out of curiosity, and then give him a bj at least.

Either way, it's his house, so I guess you just think omg and forget about it.

I'd avoid his eye and not be left alone with him again though probably..

But he wasn’t on a bus surrounded by members of the public, he was in his study

He was more that likely unaware that she was in the house and anyway it sounded like she was upstairs and he was downstairs

We don’t know what type of porn he was watching or if it was in fact even porn

He apparently realised it was too loud and then turned down the volume but it was still not far enough, if 2 elderly people are living together they sometimes get used to the volume being high on everything and may not realise quite how loud it is

Anyway, none of us know all the details so it’s nothing to get very upset about

My friend ex husband only has supervised access to his kids because he wouldn't put his headphones in whilst watching pornography.

In a private residence.

It depends how brave you are, OP. You could say “Whatever were you watching, FIL? It sounded horrific!” He will be very embarrassed but might be able to cover it up and it will warn him to be more discreet, or check that he’s actually in the house on his own.

Or you could get DH to broach it, which seems more appropriate as it’s his DF.
In the end though, you can’t police his choices in his own home, though they sound a bit grim.

Not surprising, I work in the family courts so this isnt unknown

Whats that got to do with this thread?

Stop... poster is clearly mortified. Probably initially thought it was embarrassing and hilarious at hilarious zt fist, however as its carried on, is expressing concerns its becoming darker....

Shes just trying to figure out what to do.. tell her husband etc...

Cut her some slack pls

Something similiar OP - my FIL was in the kitchen listening to music on radio.
He took himself upstairs (his house) but forgot his bluetooth was still on. Next thing there was some quite ... energetic screaming... down the radio.
I've never jumped from my chair as fast to turn off a radio 🤣🤣

I didn't have reaction you did. I did feel a bit embarrassed but had a laugh about it with DH.

It's pathetic isn't it.

It might not be legal though. OP said:

'The reaction came the more it went on. Definitely not a movie scene. That sort of sound would never be in a movie - probably also hence the reaction. Making me think that’s not what people do in real life and there is a women I don’t know if participating fully through choice in filming….'

FIL has his son, DIL and grandchildren visiting so one would hope he would get some pleasure from that. It's a horrible thought that watching porn might be his only pleasure. Maybe he should get some other interests.

Yep, perverted even....nowt as queer ect ....

N*ot surprising. I work in the family courts so this isnt unknown
*
Whats that got to do with this thread?

@soupfiend Weren't you the one who said

Even if the kids were in the house its a ridiculous post given he wasnt 'subjecting' anyone to it, he was in his own room

Maybe he was getting pointers for the bedroom later tonight with missus. A bit of geriatric porn won't harm him.

I would be upset too. Putting loud porn on when your DIL is alone in the house with you feels sexually threatening to me. Like flashing you his dick or something. I would expect my FIL would triple check no-one was home before he did that. And still probably not in case the family came home early.

Nonce is slang for pedophile you were both right.

I'm just surprised that grandad wanking to a really loud porno movie within earshot of his DIL is greeted with the same 'ahh bless him' response from some posters that you would be more likely to expect if grandad had just given his grandson his last Werthers Original.

Men watch porn, women watch porn, it's one of the biggest industries in the world, and one of the oldest, started with drawings and paintings, adopted photography almost immediately it was invented and later film and video.

So long as it's legal, and the vast majority is, its not odd, doesn't make someone a weirdo or nonce.

I remember a boozy night out one Friday evening in the late 90's when about 15 of us (male) secondary school teachers (Including the head and deputy) went on the raz, got totally drunk and ended up at the IT teachers house with kebabs watching a porno! all were and are upstanding members of the community!

It is a shortening of "Not On Normal Courtyard Exercise" a phrase used in prisons back in the day for sex offenders of varying types who where not integrated in the general population.