Father in Law 80+ naughty boy

[WhatDidIjustHearr]

This is not really an AIBU but felt like a good place to post.

Staying at my in laws at the moment with the kids. Mother in law and DH went out and I’m working from home. Father in law is also at home.

I’m upstairs and he is in study downstairs. Suddenly I hear a woman’s voice - it sounds like she is in distress or sort of semi screaming in pain. Well the first few seconds I thought that’s what I was hearing as thought he must be watching some crime / drama or something… but he was clearly watching porn.

I think he is rather deaf, it was rather loud. He did turn it down a bit but the change of volume was like someone who is screaming is now just shouting.

I don’t judge anyone for watching porn but I actually had a physical reaction to that and feel somewhat sick.

He, I assume, clearly didn’t think I can hear it. Or did he forget I was here?

To be honest my first thought was he’s a perv and trying to get a reaction from OP.

If there is a possibility that he has hearing loss why would you assume that he realised other people could hear?…..that is the point

Are you seriously suggesting that you would approach this man in his own house and reprimand him for this…..bizarre, but I don’t think that you quite get that

I agree with pp
If he knew you were in the house he is a perv who is deliberately targeting you 🤮

What I mean is, is he getting off on trying to distress you or does he just enjoy seeing women get hurt and didn't mean to disturb anybody?

I hope the second part of that sentence is a rhetorical question.

Op behave yourself, sweating and shaking because a male adult is watching pork in his own house!!

He probably forgot you were there.

Keep your headphones on

Did you really need to quote the entire OP just to add that contribution?

OP I think porn degrades and dehumanises the, usually female, participants. I think your father in law is a creep for enjoying , and being turned on by, watching women being abused.

This is one of the most ridiculous threads I've ever seen even by Mumsnet standards. Why on earth would you be sweating and shaking because a man was doing something that a huge proportion of men do in a regular basis in his own home? 😂😂😂

It wasn't in any way rhetorical.

I think it's important to know if she is being deliberately targeted by her father in law who is getting off on her potential distress at hearing the sounds of women being hurt. It has implications for her personal safety. It might be a good idea to let her husband know about it and not be alone in the house again with her FIL

Yep, nowt wrong with a bit of bacon or a chop here or there 🤣

Most people with normal human empathy are disturbed by the sound of screaming in pain.

Most people with hearing loss must know that turning the volume up high will mean that it is loud enough for other people to hear. My hearing isn't great and my kids comment on how loud the volume is when I watch TV.

In none of my posts have I said that I would approach FIL and reprimand him for this. I have just said that OP is not being unreasonable to feel very uncomfortable.

I agree that if it were done deliberately it is worse but if he just enjoys seeing women get hurt and didn't mean to disturb anybody that doesn't make the situation any better.

Not all porn is about abusing women.
Some women enjoys sex and making porn videos.

Yeah sure, the cool girls are out in full force here.

Even if the kids were in the house its a ridiculous post given he wasnt 'subjecting' anyone to it, he was in his own room

He may well have thought they were not in the house

It doesnt make him a child abuser either way.

And I havent read the rest of the posts but he could have just been watching a film with a graphic sex scene in it anyway

Exposing children to pornography is ok in your book @soupfiend?

@IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle

Don't be so ridiculous and naive.

Watching pork 😂😂😂

oh please, you sound like you're on glue

Oh leave him alone. If what he's been watching is legal, it might be his only pleasure. I'm assuming it was legal though. I also thought 'nonce ' meant paedophile.

I’ve had a shit day, and this was exactly the laugh I needed, so thank you OP 😂
I suppose it depends on your relationship with your FIL as to what you do next. I’d have had no end of fun laughing at my own FIL in this situation, but you need to do whatever feels right to you.

He's been pulling his pork more like. An 80 year old pig in blanket.

@IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle, it's potentially more imminently threatening if he's doing it on purpose to her so I think it's important to consider the distinction.

To find out if he was doing this deliberately, OP could have stuck her head in his room and shouted 'Fancy a cuppa?'...his reaction would have sorted that query out.