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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that the middle classes are liars and actors?

418 replies

MargaretBrewer · 05/10/2024 12:37

I know this woman who I always assumed was middle class. Everything she says and values is a walking middle class stereotype. The couple live in a nice house, everything is nice. Forgive my surprise, then, when I found out that she was born on a council estate to parents who were often jobless. After some snooping around, I learned that her husband comes from more money, but his father actually began life as a builder - yes, a construction worker! - who rose to manage the (small) company before buying up a number of local estate agents. I never knew what the couple in question did until I learned that they are landlords to some shops in town. Their son went to a private school and struts around like he is prince of the county! When none of his grandparents were posh! And how is it that the husband and wife own so many properties in town?!

It reminds me of a doctor and his wife I know. I always thought they must come from solidly middle class, if not upper class backgrounds, given how they talk and behave. It turned out that both of them come from families that worked in steel!

And and and there is a writer who lives nearish to me. Single woman, carries herself with this gait and artistic flair that I assumed she must come from an UMC background. Turns out her father was a welder.

Why are these people so MC presenting?? I would never have guessed they had come from unglamorous backgrounds, and there are a few other 'friends' I suspect might be similar. Are the middle classes inherently actors? If so their snobbery is alarming to me!

Had to change my name for this.

OP posts:
NotMyCircusss · 05/10/2024 14:25

Wow. You sound horrid, and vapid.

Lunde · 05/10/2024 14:25

MargaretBrewer · 05/10/2024 12:37

I know this woman who I always assumed was middle class. Everything she says and values is a walking middle class stereotype. The couple live in a nice house, everything is nice. Forgive my surprise, then, when I found out that she was born on a council estate to parents who were often jobless. After some snooping around, I learned that her husband comes from more money, but his father actually began life as a builder - yes, a construction worker! - who rose to manage the (small) company before buying up a number of local estate agents. I never knew what the couple in question did until I learned that they are landlords to some shops in town. Their son went to a private school and struts around like he is prince of the county! When none of his grandparents were posh! And how is it that the husband and wife own so many properties in town?!

It reminds me of a doctor and his wife I know. I always thought they must come from solidly middle class, if not upper class backgrounds, given how they talk and behave. It turned out that both of them come from families that worked in steel!

And and and there is a writer who lives nearish to me. Single woman, carries herself with this gait and artistic flair that I assumed she must come from an UMC background. Turns out her father was a welder.

Why are these people so MC presenting?? I would never have guessed they had come from unglamorous backgrounds, and there are a few other 'friends' I suspect might be similar. Are the middle classes inherently actors? If so their snobbery is alarming to me!

Had to change my name for this.

Why are you so obsessed with class? Does it make any difference what peoples' parents/grandparents do/did?

... although I must say it made me laugh when I discovered Jacob Rees Mogg's grandfather was a lorry driver ....

Kristophersmum · 05/10/2024 14:26

My view was the OP was trying to discuss how people can be acting up or acting " fake" and trying to state how such "lying / covering up " seems to be detrimental etc etc. I was suggesting it's valid to some extent as if you understand psychology and history you can see how humans have this inclination. Anthropology also shows this ... I can image Mr caveman & Ms cave women and their cave kids would be trying to show how better they'll were to their neighbouring cavemen lol. People are different, deep down I think we all know what's right and wrong . I try to be

an optimist & have a thirst for knowledge. My background is varied and I meet all walks of life. I've seen all sorts trying to create better pictures of themselves & life in general - can be a laugh watching it all and I'm thankful I understand why people act like this .... doesn't make it right ... and yes would be good of people just to be themselves and realise we are one after all. Shakespeare comes to.mind .... re:- the world is a stage & .... full of actors etc etc lol

twomanyfrogsinabox · 05/10/2024 14:28

I guess we're middle class, our parents were nurses, shop workers and carpenters and I'm proud of them all for bringing us up so we could get a better education than they were able to, and arguably have a better life than they did.

I'm a terrible actor and I don't lie (a lot) and definitely not about my parents occupations. Sorry to disappoint.

Theonewhogotaway · 05/10/2024 14:33

What a ridiculous thing to get hung up on. You’d look at me and see middle class, hair, clothes, bag, shoes, car, house, privately educated kids, job.

grew up poor, what do you want me to do, dress like I work down the mines. What difference does what my parents did make, i am me. Not my parents. Im not a,liar or an actor.

JudgeJ · 05/10/2024 14:33

saveforthat · 05/10/2024 13:47

Did you know that Keir Starmer's father was a tool maker?

Whereas his son is merely a tool!

Tengreenbottles2 · 05/10/2024 14:36

So YOU made massive assumptions about them based on what their lives are like now, but somehow its their fault?!

JudgeJ · 05/10/2024 14:36

SerafinasGoose · 05/10/2024 13:53

On a less frivolous note, this British fixation with class is oh, so tedious.

And no, it isn't just Mumsnet.

And it's not just Britain, all countries have ways of delineating their society and some are very rigid, the caste system in India would be a good place to look.

godmum56 · 05/10/2024 14:38

DustyMaiden · 05/10/2024 13:36

I did worry about DS and his university degrees. I knew he was getting ideas above his station. I was born in the slums of the Elephant and Castle and although I’ve accidentally become wealthy I’m still ever so umble.

nailed it. Actually and seriously my late husband's mother's family thought he shouldn't train to be an officer in the merchant navy because he was getting ideas above his class. They seriously said he should train as a seaman and not as an officer.

godmum56 · 05/10/2024 14:38

JudgeJ · 05/10/2024 14:33

Whereas his son is merely a tool!

This one wins the internet

OMG his middle name is Rodney.....
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=609875768

JudgeJ · 05/10/2024 14:39

FKAT · 05/10/2024 13:57

I also hate the class stereotypes especially in relation to Angela Rayner. Lots of working class women are introverted and bookish and don't have an accent. We're not all doing sing songs down the pub and dancing in Magaluf.

I wonder if she is quite as 'ee bah gum' when she's not speaking in public, many people with strong regional accents when speaking on TV etc have a different, milder accent in private.

JustfiedandAncient · 05/10/2024 14:40

What is wrong with you?

neilyoungismyhero · 05/10/2024 14:41

Whousestypewritersanyway · 05/10/2024 12:42

Oh my, a welder! 🤣

Oh god! Say it isn't so...

SemperIdem · 05/10/2024 14:41

Social mobility is at an all time low currently, so the op can probably worry less about interlopers masquerading as her “sort of people”, in the long run.

godmum56 · 05/10/2024 14:43

MargaretBrewer · 05/10/2024 12:49

Okay, the response was as I feared.

I'll reword it a little: I'm simply surprised. Can a person's behaviour and speech shift throughout their life? If so , they must be performing to some degree

yes it can and it doesn't mean they are performing. If I walk differently because I have done pilates classes, that doesn't mean it a performance...same with changes to speech pattern and tone.

Washingforweeks · 05/10/2024 14:44

MargaretBrewer · 05/10/2024 12:37

I know this woman who I always assumed was middle class. Everything she says and values is a walking middle class stereotype. The couple live in a nice house, everything is nice. Forgive my surprise, then, when I found out that she was born on a council estate to parents who were often jobless. After some snooping around, I learned that her husband comes from more money, but his father actually began life as a builder - yes, a construction worker! - who rose to manage the (small) company before buying up a number of local estate agents. I never knew what the couple in question did until I learned that they are landlords to some shops in town. Their son went to a private school and struts around like he is prince of the county! When none of his grandparents were posh! And how is it that the husband and wife own so many properties in town?!

It reminds me of a doctor and his wife I know. I always thought they must come from solidly middle class, if not upper class backgrounds, given how they talk and behave. It turned out that both of them come from families that worked in steel!

And and and there is a writer who lives nearish to me. Single woman, carries herself with this gait and artistic flair that I assumed she must come from an UMC background. Turns out her father was a welder.

Why are these people so MC presenting?? I would never have guessed they had come from unglamorous backgrounds, and there are a few other 'friends' I suspect might be similar. Are the middle classes inherently actors? If so their snobbery is alarming to me!

Had to change my name for this.

How should they be behaving?
What houses should they have?

Mrsknowitall · 05/10/2024 14:46

Well ain’t you a treat 🙄 you seem to have a lot of time on your hands if you have to dig for information on people you know!

dreamer24 · 05/10/2024 14:47

I genuinely can't imagine having the time, energy or inclination to give this much of a shit about the lives of others. Mind blowing that anyone gives this sort of stuff headspace 😂

Mrsknowitall · 05/10/2024 14:48

Washingforweeks · 05/10/2024 14:44

How should they be behaving?
What houses should they have?

Maybe she thinks or would be happy with welders and construction workers living in straw huts

LetsRedecorate · 05/10/2024 14:48

Wtf? Why the hell does it matter?

CharlotteLucas3 · 05/10/2024 14:50

Are you Caroline Bingley?

dreamer24 · 05/10/2024 14:50

Anyone else imagining OP looks like this 😂

To think that the middle classes are liars and actors?
FeistyFrankie · 05/10/2024 14:52

You mean to say that you’ve only just realized that the class system is nothing more than a massive pile of bollocks?

ArabellaScott · 05/10/2024 14:53

Hyacinth, give it a rest ffs.

WizardOfAus · 05/10/2024 14:53

A builder?!?!?!!!! A welder?!!!???

where THE FUCK do they get off?!????

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