To think that the middle classes are liars and actors?

[MargaretBrewer]

I know this woman who I always assumed was middle class. Everything she says and values is a walking middle class stereotype. The couple live in a nice house, everything is nice. Forgive my surprise, then, when I found out that she was born on a council estate to parents who were often jobless. After some snooping around, I learned that her husband comes from more money, but his father actually began life as a builder - yes, a construction worker! - who rose to manage the (small) company before buying up a number of local estate agents. I never knew what the couple in question did until I learned that they are landlords to some shops in town. Their son went to a private school and struts around like he is prince of the county! When none of his grandparents were posh! And how is it that the husband and wife own so many properties in town?!

It reminds me of a doctor and his wife I know. I always thought they must come from solidly middle class, if not upper class backgrounds, given how they talk and behave. It turned out that both of them come from families that worked in steel!

And and and there is a writer who lives nearish to me. Single woman, carries herself with this gait and artistic flair that I assumed she must come from an UMC background. Turns out her father was a welder.

Why are these people so MC presenting?? I would never have guessed they had come from unglamorous backgrounds, and there are a few other 'friends' I suspect might be similar. Are the middle classes inherently actors? If so their snobbery is alarming to me!

Had to change my name for this.

i spent half of my childhood holding things to be soldered, and dodging sparks (my dad was not very H and S conscious), but not really. What I’ve always wanted to learn is plastering, but weirdly few people are prepared to teach moonlighting academics.

I carry the shame of my father being from Doncaster and even worse, my grandmother coming from Wigan.

Oi, why does Doncaster trump Wigan!!! Wigan had a Pier for a long time, that should count for something!!

@JudgeJ Doncaster trumps Wigan, because it’s a well known fact Yorkshire people are vastly superior to any Lancastrians.The pier counts for nowt.

Jeremy Clarkson is from Doncaster, his mum was a teacher and his dad a salesman. But i believe he was educated at Repton. He’s obviously insanely wealthy and hangs out with David Cameron. I wonder if the OP would think he’s a working class just acting at being middle class? 🤷‍♀️😁

This us the kind of bonkers thread that makes MN worthwhile😅

Didn't realise middle classes had 'glamorous backgrounds'. Is this like the comedy sketch 'I look down on him...'? You say someone who worked their way up with their own business acts like the prince of the county. I think someone who worked their way up has more right to be proud of it because they earned it, rather than being handed down. Don't think Kate Middleton should have kept to her middle class roots and how dare she now live the life of an aristocrat?

And there's a road to it. I read that in a book somewhere.

Mindblowingly, lots of people at private schools have elocution or oratory lessons to refine their accent and boost their cooffence speaking.

Are they lying and faking being middle class?

God if I hadn’t been able to change my accent, I would be screwed. I am from an NI housing estate, but was lucky enough to get a grammar school education and a degree. After graduation I got a job in London and no-one could understand a word I said, so I had to adapt quickly! Years later I moved to Cork and had to adjust my accent again. Now I am in Oz and work in a very international workplace so it’s different again! My friends take the piss as if I have a few drinks my old NI accent comes back, they think it’s hilarious. I really wouldn’t give two shits if you judged me for being fake though, and I certainly don’t feel like I’ve lost part of my soul, as a previous poster suggested. The British obsession with class is very odd though, I can’t say I miss it.

I love the NI accent but the words come out very fast so it takes a minute to get my ear in!

I'm suspicious. Is it a total coincidence that there is, apparently, a new TV show called The Hardacres (I believe, not sure) coming out soon. Something about a working class family investing their earnings from their fried fish stall (or some such shite), becoming very wealthy as a result and having problems with snobbery in the upper echelons of society. Maybe getting people talking about class to encourage an interest in what, quite frankly, sounds like utter shit.

Synopsis
New rags-to-riches saga following the lives and fortunes of a working-class family as they move from a grimy fish dock to a vast country estate in 1890s Yorkshire.

First episode 7th October somewhere I can't be bothered to look up.

I might be too suspicious and quite batty but in my defense it is past 3 in the morning and I'm tired now.

@Passwordsaremynemesis as I have already said, it's one thing modifying your accent to be understood as you describe. That's just pragmatism. A totally different matter reinventing oneself and modifying how you speak because you feel that you have to hide your roots. The latter is what I referred to as losing a little bit of your soul.

Yes exactly.

I think it's fabulous when people discover a hobby they love, and break into it whatever their background. (Sailing/skiing /rugby/opera). Wonderful, of course anyone can enjoy any hobby.

What I find sad is when people force themselves to do things or pretend to like things because they want to appear more "middle class", whatever that may mean. A constant kind of fakery that is really strained.

Similarly people who don't wear /eat etc what they want but instead focus on what they feel they "should" do.

I think that's what op is driving at.

@SweetSakura it's not what OP is driving at, at all. She's outraged she got "taken in" , did snooping on one man's family (wtf?!?) and since there's not a lot negative to actually say about them , she decided they are fake, actors and snobs.

It can't possibly be that they grew , and changed and adapted to their environment like a lot of people do. Or that the arty/writer woman could have always been like this regardless how she was raised.

It's OP who is the snob and has strict views on class and how people from a certain class should look or behave.

To sum her post up , in her eyes , these people have no right to act, look and behave as they do as they come from working class families.

You wouldn't know to hear me speak (cos I grew up in Sarf Lundun innit), but my family background is from the central European nobility - used to dine with the Austro-Hungarian Emperor, silver mines, outrageous levels of gambling, &c.

These sorts of things have a habit of changing over the generations, and they shouldn't make a blind bit of difference anyway.

Exactly this!

😂😂😂

Woah bonkers!!!

What's YOUR family background OP?

What class were you born into and what class would you consider you are now - and why?

I'm not surprised that you felt the need to change your name 😳

I don't know why everyone is getting so bent out of shape about this. OP is not the first person to use this phrase wrt the middle class.

As for the way that the middle class appropriates and gatekeeps cultural experiences and reduces them to social capital - again, not a new observation. Eg the song "lady is a tramp"!

@MargaretBrewer started a thread and a number of people are interested in discussing the subject she’s raised, @Ursulla. Should we all have ignored her? People are allowed to be passionate about a topic, even when you don’t feel the same way, you know.

If the OP is calling someone 'posh' that is somewhat telling about her own social class. Genuinely 'posh' people would use the word 'smart'.

It's a meritocracy and we have had the most social mobility in centuries.

The only thing that annoys me is when people 'make it' and adopt snobby selfish attitudes and fail to help others get a hand up in life to where they got to. Pulling up the ladder so to speak. I can't be arsed with any of that, it's not my values at all.

Innane gossip also grates me.

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius true true.

And I guess, given that mumsnet is known for having a high number of middle class subscribers, it's appropriate that the overwhelming majority of responses have been outraged and refused to engage with/(wilfully?) misrepresented her points.